Descent of the Muse

Sorry I won't be around as much

2010-11-12T10:02:00.002-07:00

My time is becoming very limited! So much is happening right now. We are at < 6 weeks before the book releases, which means lots of edits and work on peripheral material, and I'm also trying to write 50,000+ words of the sequel for NaNoWriMo. And, you know, teach Taekwondo every day and stuff.

If you would like to stay up-to-date with my writing and related activities, Sam and I have launched our official writing blog, which you can follow here: http://mechlingstubbs.wordpress.com

If you just want updates on ME...good luck. :-p Twitter is perhaps your best option!

Much love!

Phew

2010-10-19T22:40:00.002-07:00

Our novel has been resubmitted to our editor. Phew! Now it's time for a well-deserved breather.

I'm not exactly sure what will happen now. Our editor plans to go through and make another round of suggestions. How in depth they will be, remains to be seen. Our editor says he still believes a December release is possible, so we'll see what happens!

Sam and I have been working on getting a new blog up, in lieu of a full website, which we will have eventually. I'm hoping to see our new blog go up in the next couple of weeks. It's time to start developing our real web-presence as authors. WEIRD to think about. It's a new level of exposure and professionalism that we are just now approaching.

In the meantime, I'm busy teaching, and brainstorming for NaNoWriMo. I'm looking forward to a super-busy November! =)

Burned. Out.

2010-10-11T21:14:00.003-07:00

Hi.

Haven't seen you for awhile.

I don't really understand why, but blogging has sort of fallen by the wayside over the past few months. It doesn't really take that much time to write a blog, yet it keeps feeling like more time than I have.

In life news, as you've probably heard, the book that Sam and I have written is being published, by a small independent publisher called Inquisitive Books. It's exciting! And a LOT more work than I anticipated.

I'm burned out.

You have to understand, I've been working on the same story for over a year. I was looking through my notebook yesterday, and we started writing this book last July. That's not even counting all the brainstorming and worldbuilding and everything that came before. Granted, we've taken breaks from it. But there have been no other books in the meantime. I've been working on the same characters, the same plot, in the same world, for 16+ months.

For me, that's an eternity.

I'm tired. I'm tired about thinking and rethinking the same plotlines, the same characters. The revisions that we've done are good, they have improved the story. But I'm tired. I'm three-quarters the way through revisions, and I'm done. I've had it. I'm ready to hand it over to our editor and call it quits. I'm going to tell him so, and see what he says!

Originally I'd planned to write Book 2 for NaNoWriMo this year. But there's no way. I need a break. First of all, I'd do a really sloppy job with it, and probably end up scrapping most of it anyway. We're not prepared for it in the least. And I'm just tired of the whole thing. I need a break, I need to work on something light and fun so I can refresh before coming back to this story.

This book is supposed to be released late this year. All along I've thought that was optimistic, and it seems further away every day. I'm losing my grip. I really do believe that some space, a break, would help rejuvenate me so I could finish the revisions strong. But I don't know if I have that luxury!

Urg.

Dear Reader, a hurried update

2010-07-07T22:43:00.002-07:00

I had a couple of people ask me why I don't blog anymore. It's not that I'm choosing not to blog. It's that blogging seems to require deliberate thought and cohesiveness that I don't possess in great measure at the moment. So my dear reader, I offer you a somewhat scatterbrained update on my life.

A majority of my time is consumed by Taekwondo, which, I might add, is the best job on the face of the planet. We've had a couple weeks off for "summer break", which means the kids don't come but the staff works even more than usual. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things--I've missed my students! Of course, half our staff is going away for 2 weeks, which mean me and one other instructor are covering nearly all of the classes at the studio for the next two weeks. It's going to be a major ADVENTURE.

I'm actually really pleased with my work right now. I feel like I'm really coming into my own as an instructor and staff member at the studio. My students are thriving, I feel like I'm connecting and really starting to make a difference in these young lives. Some of my advanced students are now entering their Black Belt Testing cycle. I will have a direct hand in their progression toward Black Belt. This is significant. But it's not just the advanced ranks--every student of mine is precious, and I find myself brimming over with the desire to help them succeed. It is this investment in my students and in this place that makes every long day, every hour worth it.

In other news, Sam and I are going to start submitting our novel to agents. Technically, we're submitting a query letter. This is a one-page document, which is all we have to hook their interest. One paragraph introduces the book, the theme. The second paragraph is a brief synopsis of the story. The third paragraph is a brief author bio, where we talk about our qualifications. That's it. That's all we have to interest an agent enough that they request more. I've really been struggling with it. I mean, our book is good. It's the best I've ever written. It will stand on its own merits. But brevity has never been a strong point of mine (ie this was supposed to be a "brief" update on my life!) I don't write poetry...I write EPIC NOVELS. So writing a single page, making it concise but mysterious, brief but engaging...well, it's a challenge for me. Sam and his family have helped greatly, and I'm not sure I'll ever be satisfied. But in the next couple of days we're going to start submitting our queries and wait for some of the rejection letters that are guaranteed to follow.

That's pretty much it. I spend a vast majority of my time at the studio, either teaching or in the office. Sometimes I get to hang out with my awesome friends. On Sundays I direct the ward choir, which is challenging but fun. Occasionally I get to go to ward activities, though not as often as I would like. And every now and then I get to chill with my family--though not as often as my mother OR I would like. But that's pretty much how it goes!

It's all about Attitude

2010-06-10T23:05:00.002-07:00

I've been feeling a little overwhelmed this week. We changed the schedule at the studio, so Mondays and Tuesdays have become pretty crazy (Tuesday I was at the studio for 13 hours). I spent Wednesday making up for everything I missed the first two days. Today I spent the entire morning at Sam's house wrapping up our final revisions and polishes to the manuscript. It went out this afternoon to our first round of beta readers.

Needless to say, when I arrived at the studio this afternoon, I was pretty overloaded. I did not eat well, so I was feeling a bit off anyway. I started considering skipping Black Belt class. I began to create excuses.

Something happened, though. I can't really pinpoint where it occurred, whether it was a comment someone made, whether it was one of my students, or if it was just me. But somewhere in this hectic afternoon, I realized that it's all about attitude.

I taught three classes this afternoon, and all three of them went great. I had a parent tell me that I am the best teacher she's ever seen. I nailed a difficult kick in Black Belt class. But it really came home during sparring class at the end of the night.

We're prepping for a tournament next week, so we had the full scoring system out and we were doing competitive matches. I was one of the last to fight, and I got to pick my opponent. I looked around the room. I could have picked a lot of different people. But when it came down to it, I knew that I needed to push myself. I picked a black belt of my same rank, a younger guy who weighs probably 50 pounds less than me. He's fast, and he's powerful. Of everyone there, he pushes me the most. He was also on fire tonight.

I got my butt handed to me. He nailed me left and right. Oh, sure, I got some good kicks in, and I worked on my spinning kicks the way I've been training. He's so fast, these don't really work on him. I ended up on the ground at least four times. But each time I popped up, ready to go again. The fight ended when he accidentally kicked me in the small of the back and knocked the wind out of me. But once I got my breath back, I popped right back up, ready to cheer for him for a really great fight.

I was on fire tonight. It didn't display physically--my game was definitely not on tonight. But tonight I had indomitable spirit. I pressed on through hard things, and I was happy about it. It wasn't fake or forced. Each time I fell, each time it was hard, I smiled and pressed on. By the end of the night, I was brimming with triumph. Not because of a fight won or lost, but because I had triumphed a mental game.

Taekwondo is only one part of my life. We all have things that are challenging that we have to work through. We all have things that get us down. But friends, it's all about attitude. That is how we triumph.

I'm going to kick butt next week. ;)

Quitting my job, writing, and life: an update

2010-05-28T11:23:00.003-07:00

My blogs have been neglected, I'm afraid. I'm not sure I can quite express to you the insanity that has been my life over the past couple of months. Suffice it to say, I have been a busy girl.

The biggest news that I wish to share with you is that today is my official last day at my morning job. No longer shall I be the friendly customer service rep. No longer do I have to rise early to answer phones and talk to grumpy people. No longer will I claw my eyes out over silly projects handed to me last-minute by my boss. Freedom is mine.

This decision was a long one in coming. I have been dissatisfied with this position for quite some time, but felt stuck by circumstance and finances. However, change is finally in motion. This fall I will be going back to school. I am not certain where yet--I am registered at UVU to get started on a second bachelor's degree. However, I am on the alternate list for the MSW program at the University of Utah. Obviously it would be my preference to skip two extra years of school and go straight into my chosen grad program. So here's to hoping that someone else decides to drop out of the program, so I get to go. They have until August to let me know...so we'll see what happens.

Needless to say, this intent to go back to school put a hard deadline on my time at this job. However, more and more I was getting the feeling that I should quit sooner.

My writing has been going very well. Sam and I finished our manuscript at the beginning of May. Before that time, we set some goals for ourselves and this book. The first was completion by the end of April, which we almost made. The next goal was to finish a full revision of our own by the end of May. This is still in the works, we'll see how much progress I can make this weekend. Our ms will spend the next few weeks in the hands of our first round of beta readers, then undergo a second full revision. Then in July we'll hand it off to our larger second group of beta readers, followed by a third full revision. The goal is to have the ms ready by the end of summer to begin the submission process to agents and editors.

I'm quitting my job for the summer to write. I just feel that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. These few months are precious time for me--in the fall, I'll be back in school and working, so my time to write will be very limited. I feel strongly that I am supposed to finish and pursue this book, so I'm taking this time right now to do so. It was hard to justify to myself--I mean, I may never make a dime off this book. It may never go anywhere. So it was hard to justify a REAL job and the bulk of my income for what may essentially just be a hobby. But after some earnest prayer and counsel from family and friends, I decided that for this summer, it was the right thing to do.

Incidentally...I'm really excited about the book. Co-writing with Sam has had it's challenges here and there, but overall it's been a great experience that we are eager to repeat. Together we've created something really strong, and I think that with the right timing, we have the potential to get published with it. I am very hopeful.

Other updates--Taekwondo is also going really well. I am picking up even more classes this summer, which is exciting. This coming month I will be competing at the Utah Summer Games. I'll be sparring, performing my form, and performing on our school's demo team, which is the shiz. I'm in the middle of a "diet" (not really, it's just eating better and being off sugar) trying to drop a weight class for the tournament. I'm super excited about this competition and everything else going on at the studio.

Life continues. I doubt it will get any less busy for these changes. But hopefully it will be a lot more fulfilling and enjoyable. =)

Beware: I am mean.

2010-04-17T23:28:00.003-07:00

A little something you have to know about me.

Apparently, I'm mean. But, I don't mean to be mean. :P

So, Olympic Taekwondo is all about kicking. That's how you score points. They're now incorporating rules that award points for punches...but nobody actually scores them yet. Like, we're supposed to, but we're all hard-wired for just kicks, so that's still the name of the game. Kicks to the head get more points than kicks to the body. Naturally, the more advanced your rank, the more people tend to kick to the head. In the Black Belt ranks, you hear of people called "head hunters" who do nothing BUT head kicking. But that's another story.

I tend to get underestimated a lot. You see, I am not quite 5'3" tall. I'm stocky. Sparring matches are assigned by rank, age and weight. So a girl who's a lot taller than me will be a lot skinnier than me and weigh the same. So I tend to fight a LOT of people who are taller than me. This gives them a huge advantage--my head is a lot easier to reach. And I don't look like a fighter--I'm stocky and...well-endowed in certain areas. This all plays into the underestimation.

As I proved yet again today, I can hold my own in a fight. The first girl I fought today was at least 7 or 8 inches taller than me. Granted she was older than me. But still, she should have walked all over me with head kicks. But you see, I'm scrappy. I do a lot of what we call "jamming"--I stay in really close to her, where I can still nail her but she can't get to me because I"m too close. And I play mind games, which is really where these matches are won. I'm loud, I'm confident, I smile--rather wickedly sometimes--and then I beat the tar out of them. Ya, I get tired. My endurance isn't what it should be, and I'm not as fast as I need to be. But I win.

I was still coming off the high from my first fight when I went into the second--an exhibition match, which means that the opponents aren't people who would normally be put into a bracket together because of differences in either age, rank or weight. In this case, it was age--she was 48, I think. I, um...kind of wiped the floor with her. I didn't mean to. But I've been well trained and I was in tournament mode, and it was really hard for me to back off. Fortunately, she was still cheerful and upbeat later. It's never my intention to really discourage anybody--and when you lose 27 to 3, that has a strange tendency to occur. :-/

Nobody looking at me would think I'm an athlete. Nobody looking at me would think "ninja" or "fighter." Nobody looking at me would think that I know more ways to hurt or kill someone than I care to count. Nobody looking at me would think "martial artist." But that is how I think of myself. I am a martial artist. And on days like today, it's nice to know inside that I am good. At least, I can hold my own. I might not look like much, but I warn you--don't underestimate me. Because apparently, I'm mean.

A horse in my parking lot

2010-04-10T18:46:00.003-07:00

I'm sitting on my front porch. The sun is setting. It's absolutely beautiful.

I have to acknowledge that I live in a small town. This was brought home to me when I came outside this evening to check the mail, and found a girl trotting a horse around the parking lot of my apartment complex. Now, granted, this doesn't happen every day, but it has happened before. You'll find random patches of rural land throughout my town, with cows or horses or chickens. And then it's back to Wal-Mart and the new shopping complex. It can be a strange dichotomy.

But it is beautiful. Birds are chirping in the trees that are finally starting to bloom. The air is peaceful. Just a distant hum of traffic. It's the perfect temperature right now, though I imagine it will get chilly soon.

I've been sick for a couple of days, and I didn't feel like doing much today. But the inside of my house was starting to feel like a prison, so I came out to check the mail and decided to stay. I brought my laptop, and now I'm hoping to crank out another chapter in my novel. Regardless, it's nice to breathe some fresh air that doesn't smell like my kitchen or the Scentsy in my bedroom. Don't get me wrong, I love my Scentsy. But it's not the same as the air outside.

I hope that you can enjoy some fresh air too. It does wonders.

The Muse has Descended once again

2010-04-05T08:21:00.003-07:00

Easter weekend was fun--I spent most of it at a friend's house watching LDS General Conference. We ate yummy food and dyed Easter eggs, which is something I have not done nearly enough in my life. I also went to my birth grandparents house for Easter dinner and the Easter egg hunt. Everyone has a certain number of eggs with their name on, and the eggs are hidden according to the age of the finder. So, the little kids' are just lying around in the grass. It gets progressively harder as you get older. My aunts are somewhat diabolical in the egg-hiding. Everyone has a good time with it.

In other news, I've been writing some pretty awesome stuff lately. Forgive me if I pontificate too verbosely. ;)

My best friend Sam and I have been working on this novel since last summer, though its roots are based in a story we worked on in the summer of 2007. At any rate, we pushed through and wrote 3/4 of this book last year. But in December as you may recall, I hit a terrible awful loathsome case of writer's block. Now, normally I don't give credence to writer's block. I have a quote from a writer named Peter Carey that I really love that basically says you have to keep writing no matter what, no matter if "you're sick or sad or dull. Nothing must stop you." Sam though it would be wise for us to take a break from the story, maybe work on other things, but come back to it when the inspiration was there. I didn't much care for this idea. I know myself. I'm a Discovery-style writer (term courtesy of writer Brandon Sanderson). I write and write and write, push through to the end. Any story I've stopped in the middle of, I've never finished. It's just not how I work. So, reluctantly, I agreed to take a "break" from this novel.

Three months passed. I didn't write a thing. It was awful. This is the longest I've EVER gone without writing. Like...EVER, as in, since the age of 7 when I started writing. I am always writing SOMEthing. Three months with no words was seriously traumatic.

There came a day when I told Sam we needed to brainstorm a new story because I couldn't stand it anymore. We brainstormed...and then his wife Ashley and I had an idea. Poor Sam got left in the cold that day, as Ashley and I took this idea and ran with it. In the space of two days, I had the entire plot of a novel planned out and I was ready to write.

I wrote a little. The first chapter or so, though it took me far longer than that quantity of words normally takes me. I felt rusty. I scrapped the first chapter and re-wrote it. Still wasn't quite satisfied...I found myself thinking about other characters, of a plot that I had left unfinished three months prior... Characters wouldn't leave me alone. I found that instead of wanting to write my new novel, I more desired to finally return to the unfinished manuscript.

Setting aside my new novel, I decided to do a re-read. Now, you have to understand a little how I work as a writer. Revision is one of my weakest points. As a Discovery-style writer, it is my instinct to push through, write a story, and then move forward. This has strong points and weak points. The strong points are that I finish stories that I write, and I finish them fast. I've cranked out an entire novel in a month before. The weak points are that I often have plot holes or weak plot lines, because I rarely plan things out in depth, I just push through and write to the end. And revisions are minimal. I rarely have the patience or the desire to do an in-depth revision. More often, I'll just abandon the manuscript and move on to write what I hope will be an even better story.

Thus coming back to this manuscript was a big step for me. It really marked a change in my process as a writer. Because it wasn't just a re-read (and Sam and Ashley were reading thru at the same time). As I went, I made revisions or marked them to do later. Sam and I were able to make a MAJOR plot change--we have five protagonists, and we decided to completely change one character's thread. So we ripped out a fifth of the novel and re-wrote that character's plot line. I added chapters, I re-arranged the order of several chapters. I added flavor and culture to many sections. I can't tell you how many small but detailed changes I made through this re-read. I've never done anything like it before.

As it turns out, I needed the time and space from the manuscript. When I came back to it after a three-month break, my eye was fresh and ready to see the things I wouldn't have cared about, ensconced in the writing as I had been before. In December, I was getting tired of the story. Most likely, if I had pressed through and finished, the end would have been rushed and the writing would not have been engaging...and then, I would have abandoned the manuscript and never returned to it. Now, I am excited about the story. After a month's worth of re-reading, revising, and re-writing, we are ready to push forward. Sam and I spent Friday night plotting out the climactic fight scene where we left off in December. I am finally ready to finish this story.

You know what the best part is? This story is awesome. I am so excited to finish it...and share it.

RE: Welcome Spring

2010-04-01T20:57:00.001-07:00

Today it snowed.

Ironically, today is April Fool's Day. I and many I know have long considered Utah weather to be inconsistent and unpredictable. Today, Utah played a big practical joke on us all.

Welcome Spring!

2010-03-30T08:56:00.004-07:00

I do love spring. Sometimes I give spring a hard time, and sometimes I don't appreciate spring nearly enough. I have such a deep affection for autumn and winter that sometimes spring just gets a hard break in my book. But I really do love spring.

This year, I am planting flowers (which I received here). I planted several last weekend, but the rest have to wait another 6 weeks or so. I had a blast raking up the leaves and gunk from our planter boxes in the front of my apartment. There is something about gardening that has always been somewhat mysterious to me. I've never really serious gardened before--not that I expect to this year. I'll be lucky if ANY of my flowers grow...I can't even keep potted plants alive! But I found the fresh air and the dirt and the leaves immensely satisfying.

I have an annual tradition which dates four years ago now. In the spring of 2006 I was living in the Bell Apartments down in Cedar City. I lived on the second floor, I had a big window in my bedroom that looked out over Cedar. Every night for almost a month, I threw open that window and listened to the soundtrack of Rent. Something about that music...it has incredible nostalgic powers. It gives me a feeling of freedom (end-of-semester, perhaps?) and of endless possibilities.

I think that's really what spring comes down to for me. It's a restart, a refresh. Everything is coming to a close, and to a beginning. There is limitless potential, for the world and for my own life. Spring is when I take a step back, re-evaluate where I'm at and where I'm going. I make exciting plans for the future. I relax and unwind from the stress of winter. I am free.

I really do love spring. I hope to make the most of it this year!

2010-03-29T10:02:00.004-07:00

The good news:

After a depressing two weeks of weight gain (we'll say it was due to muscle growth) I am now back on track for weight loss.
I just finished planning my next month's worth of lessons (Taekwondo). I feel great about what I have planned, I think it's going to address the needs of my students a lot better than the last cycle.
I was SO productive this weekend! My house is clean, my oil is changed, my taxes are filed, some of my flowers are planted, movies are watched, and words are written...
Writing is going so well! I am so happy. Major revisions were accomplished this weekend, with many more to come!

The bad news:

We had Color Belt Testing this past week at the studio, and a number of my students did not perform well. Thus the need to step it up during this next testing cycle.
My trip to California has been thrown into chaos, and I still need to resolve when/if I can go. It makes me unhappy.
I feel very stymied in the dating department. I need to find new ways to meet guys, or something.
I miss my best friend, who is on a mission, who I desperately want to talk to.

Adventures from Washington DC

2010-03-23T09:37:00.011-07:00

What a whirlwind trip! Two blinks, and DC had come and gone. Read on for a summary of our adventures:

My parents and I flew out to Baltimore on Wednesday night (the money we saved by flying in to Baltimore paid for my ticket...well worth the hour drive down to VA!) It was well past 1am by the time we arrived at our hotel in Fairfax, Virginia, and past 2 before we got to bed. We were up bright and early the next morning after about 4 hours of sleep, and headed off to my brother's final transfer meeting. The reunion was very sweet--he was happy to see us, and my mother was ecstatic. I will not lie...there was plenty of pleasant eye-candy among my brother's fellow missionaries, but after listening to their mission-speak for a while, I decided it's well worth waiting until they've been home for awhile and "normalized."

That afternoon we drove up to the Washington DC Temple. It was so beautiful--the sun was out, it was warm, and definitely the feeling of spring in the air. The weather was phenomenal all weekend long. At the temple, my family and the other missionaries went through a session. I'd been hoping to do baptisms for the dead, but the baptistry was closed. So I wandered the grounds and took pictures for awhile, then went to the Visitor's Center. It's huge! I talked to one of the sister missionaries for awhile--Sister Zhao, from Shanghai China--and then went to watch the Joseph Smith movie. They have a giant IMAX theater there...and I had it to myself. After the movie I rejoined the group, took a few more pictures, then we headed back down to VA. We had dinner at the mission president's home, then attended a fireside for the departing missionaries. I'll admit that I dozed through a good part of it. Between the jet lag and 4 hours of sleep, I was very ready for bed.

Early Friday morning, Kyle was officially handed over to us. We went first to Mt. Vernon, the home of George Washington. Of all the places we visited, this was the only one I'd never been to before. It was fascinating! I learned a great deal about George Washington, his family, his lifestyle, and that period in our history. The artifacts they have at the house are pretty interesting--including his dentures! Too funny. Anyway, after Mt. Vernon we drove up to Arlington National Cemetary. This place has a very special place in my heart--I first visited there as a high school student, and it was a very powerful experience. I was glad when I had a chance to walk with my father through the graves...my mom and my brother were too busy catching up to really appreciate the spirit of the place. We visited the Tomb of the Unknowns, the Kennedy graves, and just took in the powerful sight--I read that 300,000 servicemen of various walks are buried there. It's something else.

That night, Kyle watched his first real movie in 2 years. Can you guess which one he picked? That's right--STAR TREK. A brother after my own heart. =)

Saturday was our whirlwind tour of DC. We started at the Smithsonian National History Museum. My brother is obsessed with flags--his room is covered in them--so it was a treat for him to see the Star Spangled Banner. Stuff like that kind of creeps me out, how people have torn off pieces of it for keepsakes, it's all ratty and falling apart now. But it was interesting. From there, we visited the White House Visitor's Center, which was brief and not all that exciting. After that we decided to take a bus tour of the city, which considering the amount of time we had, was an excellent choice. So we drove around and saw the sights of DC, including Union Station, the memorial for Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln, the Vietnam Wall, the White House, and everything in between. We briefly visited the Smithsonian Castle, which was exceptionally eclectic and not all that interesting. It's bizarre to me how little pieces of history end up scattered through the plethora of museums out there. Bits of so-and-so here, pieces of such-and-such over here. We cling to the rag-tag ends of history like magpies collecting trash. The people of those past eras would probably be horrified to see the tidbits we cling to. I doubt very much that George Washington appreciates his dentures being gawked at as they are, as the man was well-known to be disatisfied with his teeth and smile anyhow. But we are nevertheless fascinated by the things they touched, used, wrote, wore and otherwise left some lasting impression upon. We are curious creatures.

That was pretty much it. On Sunday we attended Stake Conference in Virginia. It actually was a regional conference, broadcast from Salt Lake City. It's strangely comforting that the church is the same everywhere. Although, I have to say, there were an inordinate amount of pregnant women at this meeting. I swear to you, every woman I saw that appeared between the age of 20-40 was pregnant. It was bizarre. After the conference, we went to visit some families that my brother had lived with during his mission. We had lunch, we bought some girl scout cookies, and then we were off to Baltimore and on our way home.

As I always say, there is a profound difference between a trip and a vacation. A vacation implies relaxation. So I'll just say...this was a fast, furious and exceptionally fun TRIP.

2010-03-22T22:24:00.002-07:00

The good news:

I broke 5 boards at the ward talent show tonight.
I balanced my checkbook and have money to spare. Yay!
It's Color Belt Testing at the studio this week, which is both very easy and very fun (to me, I'm sure some of the other instructors don't enjoy it quite so much).
My brother is home from his mission!
Washington DC was awesome (post to come)
We wrapped up the Open Adoption Bloggers Interview Project, and it was awesome. Check it out at my other blog.

The bad news:

I think I may have scared off all the guys in my ward with the aforementioned board breaking.
Life is still SO crazy busy. I hardly have time to think, and I have SO much to do...
One of my characters decided to act up. Her entire plotline is up in smoke, but I don't know what direction to take her now. Brainstorming continues.
I am still exhausted from the trip. I did NOT want to go to work today! Or tomorrow, for that matter.

Fortunately, life seems to consist of more good than bad at the moment! =)

Tripping to Washington D.C.

2010-03-15T08:55:00.004-07:00

On Wednesday the parentals and I depart for the land of our fathers...that is, Washington D.C. I've been to D.C. once before, when I was a senior in high school. It was a life-changing experience, and was probably the inspiration for my love of travel and cities. Oh, I'd been to Seattle and Vegas and Anaheim before then. But D.C. really changed my perspective on cities and the East Coast. I fell in love. It's a love that has persisted, that mutated into a love of NYC, a love of The West Wing, and so many other aspects of cities and travel.

Our trip this week will be exceptionally brief. We're leaving late Wednesday afternoon and returning Sunday. We're going to pick up my brother from his LDS mission there--he's been serving for 2 years, and I can hardly believe it's been that long. So a large portion of our trip will be consumed by this reunion and by his mission-related tasks before our brief spurt of tourism. We have a long list of things we want to see, and I have no doubt that we'll get to see hardly any of them. Nevertheless, it's sure to be an excellent time.

I just can't wait to be there. Travel rejuvenates me, even while it exhausts. Cities are full of life and busyness and hubbub and glorious cityness. I hope to come back inspired. Mainly, I'm excited to come back with my brother, stranger that he is for the time being.

2010-03-09T09:34:00.003-07:00

The good news:

We went tubing at Soldier Hollow last night and it was AWESOME!
I'm really really really loving "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars. It inspires me.
This week we're going to start the planning meetings for the FSA National Conference again, and I am definitely in need of a good project to keep me busy--which this conference certainly will do.
We're leaving a week from tomorrow for Washington D.C. to pick up my brother from his mission!

The bad news:

The internet's not working at my house, so I wasn't able to work on my novel at home. Grr.
I found out I'm not elligible for Pell Grants because I already have a degree. So frustrating.
There's a date night this Saturday, but I don't have anybody to go with.
I want to go on vacation!!!

Figuring out what to do with my life!

2010-03-05T19:53:00.002-07:00

I still haven't heard anything on grad school, but I'm having the feeling that it's not going to happen. Pending that, I've been looking into going back to school for a second bachelor's degree, in Social Work. A lot of thought is going into this decision. But in order to progress into a career that I will enjoy and in which I can actually find fulfillment, I have to get a degree in this field. Additionally, it will be easier to get into the Master's program with a Bachelor's degree in the field. I applied anyway, but it was a long shot. I can get work with a Bachelor's degree, but if I do decide I want a Master's, it will be easier to get into the program this way.

I've been looking into financial aid to start at UVU this fall. I found out today that since I have a bachelor's degree, they will WAIVE all the general education classes. This is a HUGE relief! As long as everything falls together properly, I would be able to graduate (again) in 2 years. Not too bad, eh?

I haven't made a final decision. A lot depends on whether I can get enough financial aid to get through school. But I have realized that I can continue on as I have been, in a job that I merely tolerate, or I can put in the time to get into a career that I will truly enjoy. Bear with me, dear friends, as I get everything figured out over the coming months. But I think I will be the better for it.

Times of Healing

2010-02-23T12:05:00.002-07:00

In case you're behind the times...Grady and I broke up last week. It didn't come as a total surprise, but no breakup is easy, especially from a relationship as serious as ours had grown.

I think that times like this encourage self-evaluation. Life is heading in one direction, and then you are forced to stop, look around, and figure out where you're going next.

Once again I find myself questioning. Should I go back to school? Where? In what? Should I instead look for a different job? I'm certainly growing less satisfied with my present employment--less so by the day, it feels like. A change is needed, and has been for a long time.

I find myself trying, after a 2 1/2 month hiatus, to force myself to write. I fell out of those necessary habits that encourage writing. Slowly, I am trying to regain them.

My friends have stood up to the challenge. I am grateful to all my friends who have been there for me this week. They can't completely erase the sense of loss that I'm still experiencing. But they fill the hours that so abruptly became empty. They give me words of encouragement when I need them most. I am very, very blessed in my friends.

So, I move forward as best I can, trying to figure out where to go, what to do, who I want to become. All those things are necessary anyway. But in times of healing, they just become a little more prominent. So don't worry about me--I'll get things figured out sooner or later. And I'll be sure to keep you updated along the way. ;)

Superbowl Sunday

2010-02-08T10:21:00.002-07:00

I've never actually been to a football game. I mean, I guess you could count half of my senior Homecoming game, but I don't. I wasn't really watching the game, anyway. :P

However, despite my lack of football-game-attendance, I have for the last four years enjoyed watching the Superbowl. In 2007 I watched it at my bishop's house with a bunch of kids from my single's ward. '08 was in Chicago with Nick, and the power went out in the last minute of the game. The Steelers were the name of the game at my birthdad's house in 2009. And this year I enjoyed an entire Superbowl DAY with the Lee's.

I have learned, these past few years, that the Superbowl is associated with food. I'm not sure I can ever eat again. Yesterday we had corndogs, chips and veggies with dip, little smokies, pizza rolls, hot wings, fruit pizza, sodas, and who knows what else. So. Much. Food.

The game was enjoyable to watch. The commercials were somewhat disappointing--there were a few funny ones, but for the most part they were nothing exciting. I was secretly rooting for the Saints in the midst of these Colts fans. I was careful not to be overly excited when the Saints pulled through. ;)

Afterward, I felt disgusting so I made Grady go on a walk with me. To him, Superbowl Sunday is all about the food and staying parked in front of the TV all day. Oh well.

Nevertheless, I enjoy these traditions. Superbowl Sunday will probably be part of my life for a long time to come.

Black Belt Testing!

2010-01-25T11:40:00.005-07:00

The morning of Black Belt Testing I slept in. That was my promise to myself. If it had been a movie, the heroine would have risen before the dawn to meditate as the sun dramatically rose behind her and she would have resolutely moved into this auspicious day. However, it was just me, and I slept in. And then I got a massage, which was lovely.

I made it to the studio around 1, and got to work on the music for the whole test. Technology was not cooperating much that day, though, so music was late, and then the slideshow took forever during the actual test, too. What can you do? At least they both worked, eventually.

At 3 we (the candidates) did a run through of testing so we'd all be on the same page and look like we knew what we were doing (which we did...most of the time...). We got kicked out so they could let the masses in to get seated. There were quite a number of people who came to watch. My fan crowd (bless them) consisted of my parents, my Grady, my roommates, my birthdad & co, and my friend Sam. And all the studio peeps who were there anyway, of course. I am grateful to have so many loving supporters!

We (the candidates) came in at a run. We bowed in, then we did dive rolls and kick combos across the mats, which was fun. Then it was the dead space while we tried to get the slide show to work (grr...Microsoft...) and then it was the slideshow and the introduction of the candidates, and then the introduction of all the masters, of whom there were quite a number.

Forms came first, individual and then group forms. I started with my bo staff form, which we kinda screwed up but not too bad. Bo staff is fun. I am loving the Weapons class, and I can't wait to learn more and start competing. Next was individual forms, and I was a little upset. They had me do Po Eun with the 3rd degree candidates, and the way the other school does this form is very different than the way I was taught, and so I was more focused on staying together than on performing my form. Dumb. But whatever. Lastly were the group forms. Now, we'd never done group forms before, but after seeing Shiba's, our Master Sorenson decided we should do them to. So Cory, Cole, Parker and I put together this version of Pahl Jang:

The Shiba group form was pretty awesome too. They did Oh Jang, but they turned out all the lights and did it in the dark--with glowsticks on their necks, arms and legs. They had an incredible cohesiveness, staying together a lot better than we did. I hope I can find a good video of theirs, I really enjoyed it.

After group forms, we launched into BREAKING. This is always an engaging part of testings. Each of the 1st degree candidates were required to break 10 boards. They had to have 1 speed break, which is a board held with only one hand, and a power break, which is multiple boards at once. The rest of their boards they got to pick the techniques for, but they had to use both kicks and hand techniques. Each candidate had 5 minutes to set up and break all their boards. Some had a harder time than others, and some were more engaging to watch than others. Parker's was particularly cool--he chose challenging techniques, including kicking an apple off a sword and doing a flying side kick over 10 people. Pretty cool stuff.

My breaking series was a little different. At our school, when you test for your 2nd degree, the breaking series is a surprise. So where the other candidates were able to pick their techniques and set them up, mine were set up and picked for me. I was taken from the room, it was set up, and then I came out and was told what to do, on the spot. The only thing I knew for sure was coming was the brick-break with my palm. It was fun! I made mistakes, and the last kick was particularly annoying, but here it is:

Last but not least were the self defense demos. These demonstrations were supposed to display our collective knowledge of self defense techniques. In particular, I was asked to display throws, 2-on-1 defense, as well as gun and knife disarments. Cole, Parker and I worked for about three months to put this together, and we rocked the house. Again, we made mistakes which you will see, but overall it was a good performance:

Following the demos, we all shook hands with all the masters and were welcomed to the black belt ranks. Then there were lots of hugs to dispense. That evening we reconvened at Magleby's for a banquet. At the banquet, the candidates all gave thank you speeches and gave out cards and roses and such. Then we were awarded our belts and gifts. The Shiba students all got new black belt uniforms. At our school, the 1st degrees get a graduation ring, which I already have. As a second degree, I received a sword--a beautiful red katana that I'd had my eye on for two days. Then came the awards.

There were 6 awards. The awards were Outstanding Kicks, Outstanding Forms, Outstanding Breaking, Outstanding Self Defense Demo, Outstanding Overall, and the Martial Arts Spirit Award, which the candidates themselves vote for in advance. Each award comes with a sword! Outstanding Kicks went to Laura Guymon, this little blonde girl from my school who has BEAUTIFUL technique. Flawless. Then came Outstanding Forms...which was me. I was surprised, because there are a LOT of good forms in this group. But honored. Outstanding Breaking went to Sydney Shiba, who made no mistakes, broke all her boards on the first try, and did it the fastest of everybody. Outstanding Self Defense Demo went to...Cole, Parker and I. We were thrilled...but to be honest, not very surprised. :P Parker received the Outstanding Overall, which was a new award that they created simply because he was so awesome and they had to celebrate it! From Shiba, Brigette DiVito received the Martial Arts Spirit award, and from Beyond Sports, it went to Cole, which pleased me greatly and surprised me little. It kind of makes me laugh now that I think about it--Cole, Parker and I each received 2 awards. Obviously we swept the house, we compadres.

Testing was an incredible experience, and I am so grateful to all the people who supported me these past months and years as I have worked toward this achievement. Now, it's back to the studio--a little less crazy, but no less fun now that I've earned my 2nd degree!

It doesn't seem like there's a whole lot going on in my life, but then I look around and realize my life is insane. Hard to reconcile.

2010-01-18T19:38:00.003-07:00

Today I went skiing with my dad. We went to the Canyons, which is one of our favorites. There's just a lot more to ski at the Canyons. There's a lot more terrain that's within my skill level. It snowed lightly pretty much all day, but it wasn't terribly cold. It was kind of foggy, which actually was cool. The snow was icy in places and pretty thin all over, but overall it was still a fun day skiing. I love to go with my dad. It's one of the few things that he and I do together. I mean, my brother usually goes too, but he's on a mission, so his loss. ;) But we just talk and ski and chill and it's good times!

This week is the final countdown to Phase II of black belt testing, which is this Saturday. There's still a lot to do in preparation. I'm actually really excited for this phase. The first portion went a lot better than I expected, and the most exciting parts are yet to come. We'll be doing a lot of PERFORMING--forms, dive rolls, our own kick combinations, group forms (which are new to me! kind of an adventure!!) and other presentation stuff. We'll also be performing our self defense demos, which have been the biggest portion of my preparation. And breaking, where I will break an as-yet-unknown number of boards and bricks in less than 2 minutes. Woot! At any rate, I'm looking forward to this final wrap-up event.

Tonight I am chilling at Grady's house eating swedish fish and blogging, because that's what I was in the mood to do. =) Tomorrow, it's back to the grind. So, good night friends.

A Tribute to my Best Friend, the soon-to-be Missionary

2010-01-08T13:03:00.003-07:00

Melissa and I met in Juniper Hall, our freshman dorm at Southern Utah University. We both lived in the Honors Hall. Very few of the people in the Honors Hall pursued Honors, but I'm grateful that they all lived there that first year...particularly the woman who would become my best friend.

We lived together (or close by) throughout the rest of college. We lived in one nice apartment the third year, but all the others were pretty ghetto. But Melissa made them homes. She decorated, she cleaned, she cooked, she sang, she lived. She was an incredible roommate and an even better friend. I am grateful that our friendship has stubbornly persisted post-college into these years where we have lived an hour or more away from each other. Melissa is the one person for whom I will sacrifice and talk for greater lengths than 5 minutes on the phone. I can't help it. Our conversations are a life-line.

I love Melissa for more reasons than I can count. The top of the list is her loving acceptance of people, of me. I have always been able to talk to Melissa about anything, and that's a quality I don't have with other people. Melissa is an incredible listener, and she enjoys helping other people sort through their personal trials. She is dedicated, she is loyal, she is spiritual, she is kind, she is generous, she is outgoing and friendly and wonderful.

Next Wednesday, Melissa will be leaving for 18 months to serve as a missionary-representative of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She will be serving in Ohio. I will be able to write her letters (as I have promised to do!), but I will not lie, dear reader, that I face the prospect of 18 months without her bearing nothing more cheerful than determination in my heart. I have to make it through this time because she is off doing a good thing that I support wholeheartedly. But I will sorely miss her presence.

God bless, my dear wonderful friend.

Final countdown

2010-01-04T20:18:00.002-07:00

We are on the final countdown to black belt testing. Even though I know I am prepared (as prepared as anyone CAN be for this) it is still a nervewracking thing to face.

This Saturday, the 9th, is Phase 1. We will be tested for 5 hours--which is as much a test of our endurance as anything. We will have an hour and a half of solid kicking. This is killer. A sparring match typically lasts 3-6 minutes, and by the end of that match, I promise that you'll be tired, if not exhausted. And we'll be kicking for an hour and half. There will be solitary kicks as well as combinations that have to be performed with fluidity as well as speed, accuracy and power.

We'll also be doing all the forms we know--these are set patterns of techniques, including blocks, strikes, kicks, etc. We have to remember the patterns precisely, and perform them with accuracy, sharpness, and power. The kids testing for their 1st degrees have 10 forms. I have 15. This is actually the portion I have the most confidence in.

The biggest clincher of the day are our self defense demos. These are 15 minute demonstrations of all the self defense we have learned during our journey to black belt. I am in a team of three, and we have been working for several months on this demo. It takes a LOT of energy to perform. We do blocks and strikes, joint manipulation, throws--Judo, Hapkido, Ju-Jitso--and since I'm testing for my second degree, I also have to show two-on-one defenses and knife and gun disarments. The demo is a lot of fun, but it is a TON of work.

In two weeks on the 23rd, we have Phase II. This portion is shorter, only 2 hours, and open to visitors to come watch. We will perform the best of our performances--kicking, forms, self defense--from Phase 1. I will add my staff fighting form (whacking people with a stick!). We will also add BREAKING. This is when I will break BRICKS with my HAND.

And at the end of it all? IF we survive and perform to par, we will be awarded our new degrees at the banquet that evening. That, my friends...that will be triumph. Just gotta get there!

2009 in review

2010-01-01T19:56:00.006-07:00

I guess I wrote these posts a little backwards, but it's okay. Here is a year in review at Descent of the Muse.

In January, I wrote a lot and put on a Roadshow with my singles ward. Also, I started volunteering with LDS Family Services.

In February, I entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest, started thinking about buying a house, and actually started looking at houses, which was weird.

In March, my novel made the quarterfinals of the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest. And Melissa and I went on a road trip to SEATTLE, which was a blast.

In April, I bought a guitar...which I then did not learn to play. I started back at Taekwondo after a 2.5 year absence. Also, I started my adoption blog.

In May, I moved to my apartment in Lindon. My friend Dixy got married, and we went on our annual camping trip to Red Cliffs.

In June, I went to New York City with my parents, which was amazing.

In July, I was exceptionally busy preparing for the national conference of Families Supporting Adoption.

In August, I started teaching classes at Taekwondo, and it started really kicking my butt into gear. I also met and started dating Grady.

In September, I turned 23. I decided to apply to the MSW program at the University of Utah, and started working on applications.

In October, I fought in a tournament (first time since 2006). I went to Pennsylvania and was the keynote speaker at an adoption conference there.

In November, I broke boards for fun. I participated (and won!) in the National Novel Writing Month. And I gave thanks.

In December, I went to lots of parties. I was the keynote speaker at TEDxSUU in Cedar City. And I started my awesome new job at Taekwondo!

All told, it was a pretty good year. And we can only hope that 2010 will only be better!

2010

2009-12-31T09:31:00.004-07:00

I think 2010 is going to be a good year. It has a nice feel to it. I like numbers that feel whole, solid. Because of our numerical system, 10's will always feel that way to me. So I'm pretty stoked for 2010.

My roommate Anna has started this great tradition that we roommates are going to continue this year. She creates a posterboard for the year and draws out everything she wants to do in the year. It can be serious or silly stuff all mixed together, big and small. I love this. It's more than just New Year's resolutions--it's a checklist of awesomeness.

Some of the things I'm going to put on my poster for 2010 are:

Get my second degree black belt!! 9 days!!
Go to a rock concert. (Nope, never been. Sad, huh?)
Submit at least one of my books to agents and/or publishers.
Visit a new country. (Probably the hardest of them all simply for $$$)
Start learning the guitar.
Go to a college football game. (Nope, never been. Grady thinks that's REALLY sad, lol.)
And of course, write a book. Gotta do that every year now.

There will be more, as I think of them. But I think it's a pretty good start for this awesome-sauce year of 2010. And tonight, it's downtown SLC for fun and games. =)

Work: Some new developments

2009-12-23T13:00:00.002-07:00

You know I love Taekwondo, right? Well, I do. Lots. I've especially come to enjoy teaching Taekwondo, which came as a surprise to me at first. I love spending time with my students.

So when the opportunity was presented to work at the studio part-time, you may understand why I jumped at it.

Here's the story. A while back, I was talking to Whitnee (a co-owner and program director at the studio, and one of my very best friends) about some of the challenges the studio has been facing. Part of the problem was a lack of manpower--but also a lack of funds to pay for additional manpower.

I guess they made an executive decision that the manpower was necessary for further growth, because they approached me and offered me 15 hours a week of work at the studio--7 hours teaching and 8 hours in the office. Needless to say, I accepted. It means pulling my current job from full-time hours to part-time, which means losing my full-time benefits. But the sanity benefits are well worth the sacrifice to me.

I love Taekwondo. I love teaching Taekwondo. I love organizing things, I love maintaining order--which is what I'll be doing in the office. Compared to my job now--dull, mind-numbing monotony day after day--this is bliss.

I'll be starting in the office next week, and then we'll start introducing me to my new classes in the new year. Whitnee doesn't want me to get too overwhelmed before black belt testing--which is three weeks away, yikes!!--so I'll probably be hitting it hard mid-January and into February. I'll be continuing to teach my mixed children's class, in addition to a teens class (which is the most alarming--teens are harder to impress than kids) and possibly an advanced or intermediate childrens class. I'll also start assisting the childrens' sparring program, and I'm really excited about that. Sparring and I are tight. ;)

This, my friends, while crazy and somewhat irresponsible, this...is passion. Living it. And nothing makes me happier. Wish me luck!

2009-12-22T23:54:00.001-07:00

The good news:

Christmas is in three days! Woot! I'm excited because my roommate Anna is going to spend Christmas with my family, and Anna is the shiz.
My Christmas shopping (with one exception) is DONE. Yay me.
I colored my hair DARK brown tonight. I was afraid that it would be too dark, but I kind of like it. =)
I start at the studio next week! Maybe I'll post about that.
My boyfriend is awesome.

The bad news:

Black belt test is 2 weeks from Saturday, and I'm starting to freak out. Our self defense demo is not where it needs to be!
I spent way too much money on Christmas this year. I love too many people, dang it!
I haven't worked on me and Sam's novel in over weeks. Not happy about that.
BLACK BELT TEST IS 2 WEEKS FROM SATURDAY AND I'M STARTING TO FREAK OUT!!!!!!
My knee still kind of hurts. Not as bad as this weekend. But I wish it would behave itself. Grr.

Christmas Complaints

2009-12-11T10:08:00.003-07:00

Ah, Christmas. I love Christmas, I do. It's the time leading up TO Christmas that is difficult. Chaotic. Madness. Utter insanity.

I think there are too many Christmas parties. It's frustrating to me this year that I can't make it to all the parties I want to go to. For example, next Saturday the 19th, there are THREE parties in the same evening. My family Christmas party, my work party, and my ward party--where I'd been hoping to break boards in the talent show (wouldn't that make for a break, forgive the pun, from the normal monotonous piano and instrumental solos.) But...it's likely I'll only be able to attend one of the three. A similar problem occurs the next evening. TOO MANY PARTIES!!

I'm having problems with Christmas shopping as well. The main problem is simply a lack of time to get out there and battle the hoardes. Weekdays I'm at the studio basically til 9pm every night, and weekends I've pretty much dedicated to another purpose. But I've got to get out there and do it, because Christmas is coming up mighty fast--two weeks! And my loved ones much have gifts from moi.

Some people, though...some people are ridiculously difficult to shop for. Boys, mostly. Male-folk. Either they A) don't really want or need anything or B) the things they really want are way out of my ability to acquire (ie price range). So difficult. My suggestion: people should collect things, so that other people know what to get them. =)

All of this is complicated by having a significant other. I'm just saying. Parties start multiplying. Finding the perfect gift is excessively complicated. Just finding time to see each other becomes harried. Not that it's not compltely worth it, of course!

I'll just be glad when we can get to Christmas and enjoy it. I'm hoping this year will be a particularly wonderful Christmas!

TEDxSUU

2009-12-04T10:34:00.003-07:00

If you don't know what TED is, stop right now and go here. Take some time, explore. Watch this one, it's my favorite. Pure brilliance.

Okay, now that you are familiar with TED, I want to familiarize you with their new brain-child, TEDx. These are independently organized events that are now recognized by TED. Check this out. See yours truly?

Yesterday, my friend Whitnee and I drove down to Cedar City to attend TEDxSUU. This is like our brain-child, growing up. We were in the first class to produce this conference (see the Fall 2007 video on the aforementioned page). And last night, I was invited down as an alumna speaker.

The theme of TED is "Ideas Worth Spreading" and this was an idea shared by TEDxSUU. A handful of students from the class were selected to present a shortened version of the presentation. There were also videos played from TED. Check out this one--so good. The students shared ideas about wildlife preservation, the societal concepts of maturity, and the use of color in our perceptions of language, mathematice, and the world at large. There were artistic performances, which were a new addition that I particularly liked.

But at the end of the student speakers, it was my turn. I only had a few minutes--not nearly long enough to give true scope to what I wanted to say. But the point I wanted to make to these fledgling Honors students was about passion. We live in a society of sheep. There is a flock, and everybody wants to be part of the flock, and the flock wants everybody to be part of it. You might want to be a pretty sheep, or a smart sheep, but you are still a sheep. If you venture too far, the flock says no, don't go there, its dangerous. It's not cool. It's lonely. We are discouraged from venturing out from the norm--set by our arbitrary society. People who live outside those bounds are criticized, stigmatized. But the flock remains caught in nothing greater than mediocrity.

The Honors program was always about passion to me. So many people go to college for the degree. They do just enough to get by, to endure until they get handed that paper that tells them they accomplished something. But there is so much potential for more. And not just in school--I want to have an Honors life. It's not just about skating by, doing just enough. There is a deeper, more fulfilling experience to be had.

Too often we are limited by expectations put upon us. In college, you have expectations set by teachers. To pass this class, you must do these things. And so we do those things. In life, we are set expectations by peers, by family, by religion or politics, by employers. All these expectations that we are set to meet. But those expectations actually limit our capacity. If the bar is set here, then we only try to reach here.

We can reset the expectations. We can set our own expectations, and set them far higher than what anybody else can set for us. It might not be cool. People might not accept it--how many times are we told to lower our expectations, because we can't possibly achieve our dreams? But we CAN! By raising the expectations we have for ourselves, we raise our capacity to achieve them. And we never know what new interests and passions and dreams we will discover along the way.

Let's try not to be sheep. Let's try to leave the flock of others' expectations. Let's venture out into this great big world with our eyes and minds open for new ideas. And we can share our own--ideas worth spreading.

Obligatory Thanksgiving post

2009-11-30T12:31:00.002-07:00

Thanksgiving was actually quite lovely this year. We started off with a blip--fought with my mom about pies. She made the pies, and I was made cuz I wanted to make the pies! But we kissed, made up, and I told her under no uncertain circumstances that I am making pies for Christmas. (Love you, Mom!)

We had dinner at my Grandma's house up in Bountiful. We haven't done that in AGES, since I was a little kid. My cousins kept having kids and we outgrew their house, so everybody stopped going to Grandma's and started having Thanksgiving with their own families. Well, now we've got a bunch of empty nesters. So I had a couple aunts and uncles there with their last remaining unmarried adult-children, and my parents and I. It was different, but pleasant. Very low-key.

My grandma got her hands on a bunch of 8mm film and had Costco turn them into DVDs. So we watched some home videos from 1959--my dad was 4 years old. And he was a charmer! (which, if you know my dad at all, is surprising. He's so quiet now!) But it was so fun to watch these videos, to see my aunts and uncles at these young ages. And my grandparents! So young, so cute. And so formal! Part of the video was a visit to the zoo. The men wore suits to the zoo! And the women and girls were all in skirts and dresses. My grandma was so dainty, it was cute. It was really just a different time.

On Friday, I went up to Ogden to spend the weekend with my best friend Melissa. LOVE HER. Can't even tell you. Friday night we dorked around, played this weird game called Quelf (which I won) and Ticket to Ride, my favorite game ever (which I did not win). On Saturday, I watched while Melissa and her dad hung the Christmas lights on their house. Melissa wanted me to go up on the roof, but heights and I are not good friends. So I stayed on the ground and WROTE--and it was awesome, climatical goodness. That afternoon, Liss and I did a little shopping, but got very little. That evening, we went to see New Moon again. We ended up at a later showing, so we went to the Fat Cats arcade for an hour or so, where we played Deal or No Deal. I know its retarded, but its still strangely amusing. I got some more of these mini mechanical pencils that I have come to love, and a plastic dagger that amused me greatly. Then it was back over to the movie, which was enjoyable. I have now gotten my fill of Taylor Lautner's abs and can move on. ;)

I went to church with Melissa and then departed southward. I spent the evening with my birthdad & co. The majority of our time was spent watching the Steelers game. My b-dad is a Steelers fanatic. It's funny. I am slowly growing to appreciate football. Maybe one day I'll actually go to a game! Haha. We'll see.

And throughout the weekend, I was pretty much on my phone nonstop IMing or texting Grady. He's turning me into a Crackberry addict by association! But that's life, I guess. :P All in all, it was a great holiday weekend. I'm looking forward to Christmas!

NaNoWriMo!

2009-11-25T20:51:00.003-07:00

Five days left in November, and I just hit 50k! Kick-butt-boo-yah!

Now back to writing....

I like to be chill.

2009-11-23T01:04:00.003-07:00

There is so much drama in the world, in my life. So little of it has anything to do with me. Drama surrounds me like a haze. I guess I experience drama vicariously through others. Roommates. Friends. Coworkers. My mother. (Love you Mom!) I guess I have my own share of drama. But I imagine myself (my own construct) to be pretty low-key in this regard. I may be crazy-crazy-busy, but despite this, I still have a low modicum of drama. In proportion to the aforementioned people in my life.

I think I like it better this way.

PS: The title of this blog has nothing to do with temperature. I'm finding this winter that I am cold ALL THE TIME and it's driving me crazy. I'm becoming like Whitnee, which is NOT exciting. Grady says I'm a wuss. He's probably right. But regardless, I do NOT like to be cold.

Giving Thanks

2009-11-18T09:55:00.006-07:00

It's that season of Thanks Giving. Some of my friends have been making daily posts about things for which they are thankful. I haven't had the time or energy for daily posts, but I thought I'd take some time today to tell you some of the things for which I'm especially grateful this year.

My job. Sometimes I don't give enough credit to my job. First of all, I HAVE a job! I love my coworkers, they're the best. And I love everything else that I get to do at my job!

My family. I absolutely adore my parents. They are the shiz. I really appreciate their love and their support--letting me "shop" in their pantry, my dad coming over to fix the furnace at my apartment, my mom taking me out to lunch. Seriously...the shiz. And all my other family as well! My birthfamily, my cousins, my Jacksons, my grandma...everybody. You. Are. Awesome.

My roommates and my friends. I think sometimes I take for granted how many friends I have. I am so grateful for their love, for their interest in me, for their kind words, for their invitations to activities even when I can't come. I am very blessed in the friend department.

Taekwondo! I am incredibly grateful that I've been able to get back into Taekwondo this year, and that I've been given the opportunity to teach, and work toward my second degree black belt. It's a challenge. And it takes a great deal of my time. But the opportunity is one which I value very much.

My afore-linked volunteer work. I've actually been feeling particularly grateful this week that I've been given this ability and means to help people in such a personal way. It's important to me. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the trust that has been given to me to shepherd people in need.

My Church. I can't make a thankful-list without this one. I am grateful always for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the security in my life that is offered by my faith. This is a huge one I could go on and on about. =)

Let's see--some other things for which I am grateful:

-Heat in my house!
-Tithing settlements.
-Well, just my ward in general.
-Awesome books. I love books.
-Awesome movies. (ie STAR TREK)
-Weekends!
-The piano, and my ability to play it.
-Learning how to cook.
-NaNoWriMo making me write.
-The Ensign. It's awesome.
-My cell phone. And having the internet on it.
-My awesome, awesome, awesome car. I LOVE my car.
-The season of Autumn. That smell, that crispness in the air, the colors of the leaves, all of it.
-Hot chocolate.
-Well, chocolate in general.
-Being able to have a fire in the fireplace with the flip of a switch. Sooo nice.
-Fun-filled days.
-Being a girl. Even though I hate it sometimes, I really do like being a girl.
-Bloggers. I love reading blogs. Especially adoption blogs, and my friends' blogs.
-The holiday season.
-Going shopping with my mother.
-Getting to speak at conferences. (TEDx is in 2 weeks! eeek)
-Pea coats.
-Hand sanitizer.
-Music! All kinds of music, from MoTab to Metallica. And listening to it really loud, in my car or at home with my roomies.
-Dating an awesome guy. =)

There is much to be grateful for, all year round. But I'm glad that Thanksgiving gives me the excuse to air some of them out. Oh, and make pie. I'm becoming something of a pie snob, but I honestly think homemade pies (when done right) are better than storebought pies. And I do love to make pie. =)

Happy Holidays!

Pics!

2009-11-16T17:11:00.003-07:00

The long-promised pics of Writing Camp! The roomies and I, writing away.

My novel is coming along quite nicely. I hit 30,000 words yesterday and have pressed onward. Having good times!

NaNoWriMo: Week One

2009-11-07T22:11:00.002-07:00

My dear friends, we are coming to the conclusion of NaNoWriMo's first week. I have spent the last seven days writing, and I have to tell you, I'm feeling great.

Anna, my fabulous roommate, has become my writing buddy, and I think writing buddies make all the difference in the world. Our dining room table has become writing camp. We have a lamp (it kind of feels like an interrogation light, not gonna lie), and all sorts of cables. Music and food abound. We share ideas and lines and plots from our novels. We encourage each other. We spend our late-nights together at the table, writing.

It's going pretty well before. I've stayed ahead of the daily quota, though not as high as I'd like to be. Although if I'm being honest with myself, I'm doing REALLY well considering the chaos that is my life right now. Last year I wrote more, but last year I didn't have work AND taekwondo AND dating AND roommates to hang with and whatnot. So I think I'm doing myself proud.

The story is coming along nicely. I'm really happy with most of the characters, and the plot is developing in some interesting ways. So I'm just plugging along and having a good old time.

I'm hoping to post some pictures soon--I want to show you the funsies that is our writing camp. =)

Onward!

Board Breaking Extravaganza--check out the awesome videos

2009-11-04T11:55:00.004-07:00

This weekend at Beyond Sports, we're having a Board Breaking Extravaganza! Sounds exciting, doesn't it? Well, it is! We've invited all our students to come--and to invite all their friends to come too! Everybody comes, and we spend the first part of the event teaching them how to break boards--or in the case of our students, how to perform a new break they've never done before. We practice and get ready. Then we spent the next half BREAKING--everybody who comes gets at least 2 boards, and they perform the breaks they've been taught. We're going to go through half a forest's worth of board, I tell ya.

So, for black belt test, we all have to break 10 boards. That's right, 10. Those testing for their 1st degree plan out in advance which kicks and hand techniques they will use to break their 10 boards. They plan the setup (which is more important than you might guess) so that their breaking makes an interesting performance, without a bunch of shuffling in the middle. At testing, they have 5 minutes to set up their boards with their board holders, practice, and break all 10. If any of their boards don't break, they lose points. If it takes longer than 5 minutes, they lose points. Points are awarded for good technique, power, and the boards breaking.

This weekend is a dry run for testing. All the kids testing for their black belts in January get to do all their breaks, just like they would for testing. It helps us evaluate where they're at with breaking, and if we need to adjust any of their choices.

For me, things are a little different. At black belt testing, I will be sent into another room. My head instructor will set up an arrangement of boards (and bricks!). Then I will come back into the room. I will have 2 minutes to break all the boards (and bricks!) I get judged on having good technique, but I also get judged on how challenging the techniques are that I choose (on the spot!) to break with. I am judged on my performance--how flashy I can make it, on the spot.

This weekend, though, I get to pick my breaks. I am doing 10 boards also (no bricks...my hands aren't conditioned enough quite yet!) Last night I sat down to decide what breaks to use this weekend. My instructor told me to choose things that will challenge me. And so I have!

First will be a blindfolded jump back kick. (This clip made me laugh! Now imagine, no gear--WITH blindfold--through a board.)

Next is a double jump front snap kick. (Couldn't find a good vid, sorry)

The next one is kinda fun. I will toss a board into the air, and as it comes down, I will break it with a ridge hand.

Following that, I will break 3 boards with a palm strike. This is how I will break bricks at my black belt test.

And last I will break 3 boards with a triple spin hook kick. (This one is crazy-sauce, but will be awesome if I can pull it off.)

All I have to say after all that is: board breaking is awesome, and Taekwondo is the shiz!

Halloween!

2009-11-02T10:55:00.006-07:00

Halloween is a ridiculous holiday, but it still can be incredibly enjoyable.

It's easily the biggest holiday celebration at my workplace, which is kind of random. On Friday, we had a huge Halloween party. There were contests for desk decorating, best costume, and pumpkin carving, and we had a great barbeque, with trick-or-treating for kids and adults alike. Cindy and I, the Front Office Team, won the pumpkin carving contest with our cannibal pumpkin:

The costumes at work were pretty exciting, I'm not going to lie. I never hoped to win, but it was still fun--especially because I got to be in my PJs all day. =)

On Halloween itself, Grady and I went up to SLC. It was his first time meeting the Peeps, or my college friends. We watched "Little Shop of Horrors" and then we took Trax downtown to Studio 600, a dry dance club that was having a big Halloween party. My friend Justin was a huge hit--he was Optimus Prime for Halloween. This was an AWESOME costume. He was like a Disneyland character, everybody wanted pictures with him. We found out after we got there that there was a costume contest--and Justin won, hands down.

We had an awesome time. We danced for awhile, but then we went and spent most of the evening in the karaoke room. We had pizza and virgin bloody pina coladas. We played a little foozball, goofed around, and just had fun. We almost missed the last train home, which was a little alarming. Being stuck in downtown Salt Lake City at 1 am without any way to get home would NOT have been fun. Fortunately, we caught the last train and headed home. All in all, a great evening.

I hate airlines, airports, airplanes, et cetera and so forth

2009-10-26T12:57:00.003-07:00

Travel log:

7:30am EST. Woke up. Immediately panicked, as my flight left at 7:05am EST.
7:31am EST (5:30am MST) Called Mom. Mom said, stop panicking, pack your stuff and start driving, I'll call the airport. (God bless my ever-patient and loving mother.)
8:00am EST. Started driving. Mom called to say she had put me on a flight at 11:10. Started driving faster. (They charged $59 to put me on that flight--the money panic set in.)
9:45am, I took a wrong turn.
10:00am I realized I had taken a wrong turn. Tried to call my mother, but I had no reception. When I reached the END OF THE ROAD (major panic) I turned around.
10:05am stopped at a gas station for directions. The guy laughed at me.
10:15am got back on the correct highway. Started speeding really bad.
10:30am started looking for gas stations so I could refuel my car. Couldn't find a gas station within 10 miles of the airport.
10:45am Mom told me to suck it up, pay the ridiculous price of refueling by the car rental company, and just get myself to the airport.
10:55am FINALLY the Hertz shuttle took us to the airport.
11:00am The Delta guy at the self-service kiosk would NOT let me see an agent at the desk until I had at least tried the self-service kiosk. This guy was a retard. He kept telling me to take my time, calm down, and he'd 'work the magic' on the self-service kiosk.
11:05am the self service kiosk sure didn't work, so the Delta guy finally let me get in line for an agent.
Now, there was one girl working the desk. Two other guys were just standing there talking. I'm sure it was only five minutes or so, but it felt like five HOURS. I even heard her say, "Gee, am I working here alone today?" They laughed, finally finished talking, and one guy meandered over to the desk. He clicked away at his computer and finally asked if he could help me. (I had totally lost it; I was balling my eyes out.)
11:10am He determined that I couldn't make my flight (no duh, you stupid--). He told me at that point that there wasn't another flight leaving for SLC until 9:00pm. Obviously, the water works were flowing. He was like, "Ma'am, I can't possibly help you when you're crying like this. You need to stop crying." Then he looked around and called out, "Could somebody get me a box of tissues please?" That didn't actually help very much. Anyway, he decided there might be another option (click clack at the computer for another AGE). Then he said there might be a flight, but he couldn't confirm it for another fifteen minutes, so I should go sit down, take deep breaths, and come back.
11:20am Texted Melissa, Anna, and called my mother--who didn't answer--and tried with some success to calm down.
11:30am back up at the counter, the guy got me tickets (yay!) that still wouldn't get me home until about 9 (boo) but at least I wouldn't be leaving AT 9. Furthermore, since I had told him I missed my flight because I had gotten lost (and probably out of fear of the waterworks) he was able to get the fee waived, so they didn't charge me all over again for this new flight (hallelujah!) Then with a condescending smile he said, "Now, don't miss this one!" (Jerk!)
11:45am got through security (blah) and found my gate. Went to the bathroom and washed several hours worth of tears off my face.
Waited.
1:30pm Boarded my plane.
2:00pm Finally left Philadelphia.
4-something pm, landed in Atlanta. Traversed the airport, got a wrap at the same place the parentals and I had wraps on our NYC trip.
6:00pm boarded my plane. Got stuck between a grumpy dude who took over the armrest and never ever relinquished his claim, and a hippie lady who drank nasty-smelling tea and kept laughing really loud at the movie I wasn't watching.
8:30pm MST, landed in SLC. HALLELUJAH!!!
9:00pm, went to visit my grandmother in Bountiful because she'd been planning on seeing me, when I was supposed to have been coming into town at 10 AM and still wanted to see me. I swear, I was so dead, I'm not really sure what we even talked about.
10:30pm, made it home. Unpacked my contact case and my pajamas, cuz that's about all I could handle right then.

I'm now going to pretend that the whole thing didn't happen. I went to sleep in Pennsylvania on Saturday night, and woke up at home this morning. Sunday didn't exist. =P

Also, if you'd like to hear more about my actual experience while in Pennsylvania rather than the debacle of getting home, check out my other blog.

Hel-looo Pennsylvania!

2009-10-22T17:44:00.000-07:00

Travel log:

Woke 6:30am, thought about going running as planned, hit snooze button, slept again.
Woke 6:55am, showered, dressed, finished packing.
Departed house 7:35am, best mom EVER drove me to SLC Int'l Airport. Got thru security w/o a hitch, waited. (plane supposed to leave at 9:41am)
Boarded plane 9:32am
Plane takeoff 9:55am
Slept for the first hour or so
Woke up when the guy next to me tried to apply lotion, but in the plane, it kind of exploded everywhere. Gave him my napkins and helped him clean up. Then talked to him for 10min.
Worked on my keynote address for an hour.
Finished a scene in my novel.
Slept again.
Landed 4:00pm EST/2:00pm MST.
Waited. (really had to pee, too!)
Disembarked--and couldn't find a bathroom! The whole freaking airport's being remodeled. Finally found one by the baggage claim, and it was way nasty.
Took the shuttle to Hertz, 4:25pm
Rented a car for the first time, 4:40pm. It was supposed to be a Hyundai, but it turned out to be a Mazda 6. Pretty pleased with that one.
Tried to get to the Reading Terminal Market, 5:00pm. Incidentally, I would advise against trying to navigate downtown Philadelphia at rush hour. After being muy frustrated, I gave up and headed out. (Have to admit that I have mad driving skills that after getting lost trying to find Vine St, I was still able to get myself back onto I-76 and headed in the right direction.)
Got stuck in traffic behind a wreck 5:30pm
Stopped for food, 7:00pm. I had eaten breakfast at 7:00am MST, drank some Fresca and ate a biscotti cookie on the plane...and that's it. I debated seriously about just waiting til Lebanon, but couldn't stand it anymore, so I stopped. Had a roast beef gyro at Arby's--decent, too.
Arrived at hotel, 8:00pm.
Started playing on the internet, 8:25pm.
And here I sit.

Tomorrow morning I'll be working on/finalizing all my presentations. In the afternoon we're going to Hershey for a taste-testing tour/trick-or-treating, where I get to see Ian for the first time in over a year. Then tomorrow evening is my keynote address. Eeek!

Good News Bad News

2009-10-21T09:08:00.004-07:00

The good news

I leave for Pennsylvania TOMORROW! I'm so so so excited.
I had a great write-a-thon weekend with Sam last weekend, we got a lot done.
Got to see my birthdad and fam on Sunday!
My roommate followed through, woke me up, and got me out of bed to go running (well, this morning it was a brisk walk). We are 2 for 2. I'm determined to keep up the schedule while in PA!

The bad news:

I'm still not feeling very prepared for my keynote address on Friday night. I have a few notes, and a plane ride. Hopefully it will come together?
I really hurt my knee at Taekwondo last night. It's still killing me. Sometimes I hate my body.
Because of the aforementioned pain, I didn't sleep well last night (resulting in me still being in bed when it was time to go running) which means I'm really, really tired this morning. Being really, really tired limits my productivity, both on the keynote address front, and the novel front. *sigh*

NaNoWriMo

2009-10-19T09:06:00.002-07:00

I have a deep love for NaNoWriMo--National Novel Writing Month. I've participated for several years now, with great enthusiasm.

This year, I'm cheating. You're supposed to write 50,000 words of a NEW novel, one that you haven't started, and preferably one that you don't care about that much, because you're going to be cranking out 50,000+ words in 30 days, which means that quality is not necessarily a priority.

However, I'm hip-deep into this novel I'm co-writing with Sam, and I've come to the decision that it would be ridiculous for me to start another book at the moment. So I'm cheating. I will be writing 50,000 fresh words, but they'll be a part of this novel that we've already begun.

Last night, I told my roommate Anna about NaNo, and when her interest was perked, I realized that I really really really wanted her to do it with me. There's just something about company during moments of insanity. Having someone to rant to about characters who misbehave; someone to have late night write-a-thons and runs for caffeinated beverages. Strangers on forums are no substitute for a flesh-and-blood companion. So now I'm really hoping that Anna will join the ranks of NaNo-ers who will be madly scribbling away this November.

Cravings

2009-10-13T10:40:00.002-07:00

You know those days? Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. Yes, those days.

All I want today is chocolate. Lots of it. Good chocolate, crappy chocolate, I don't care. But it's all I want. Food? Pass. Water? I guess so, but only if it's washing down some chocolately goodness.

PS: On a side note, I've been cracking at the novel this morning...haven't made a ton of progress, cuz my coworker is MIA again, but we're looking forward to a very productive weekend, and I'm stoked.

Tournament!

2009-10-12T13:38:00.003-07:00

I just finished my grad school application--put it in the mailbox, can't touch it again finished. In light of my current stage of freaking out, I've decided to blog.

The tournament on Saturday was a lot of fun! It's been three years since I've been to a taekwondo tournament, and I'd forgotten just how much I love them. I think that (for me) they're even more fun as a black belt, because I get to be so much more involved. You know me--I'm an organizer. And nothing needs organization more desperately than your average taekwondo tournament.

Our contingent from Beyond Sports arrived just before 9, just in time for an impromptu judging/refereeing training. We HOPE that most black belts know how to judge the normal TKD events, but it's not always the case. Anyway, then it was off to compete in forms. The black belts go first in forms so they then can judge the color belts. For similar reasons, they usually spar last. It also works as an interest grabber/event climax, respectively.

Anyway, my competition in forms went really well. There were three in my division. The first girl was obviously brand new both to her black belt and to Koryo, her form. The second was a guy who performed Keumgang, the second degree form, and he did fairly well, but nothing extraordinary. I also performed Keumgang, which I learned about a month ago and fell in love with. There were several small goofs on my part, but overall I think I performed well. I received the gold medal!

Then it was off to another ring to judge color belt forms. That went by quickly and without much excitement. However, I was then asked to help judge demo teams. I'd never done this before, and it was exciting. Demo teams are an interesting, multi-headed, and variable creature. Three schools competed, and each performance was very different. There are a lot of unison techniques, and the better the unison, the better the score. But I learned that live music definitely adds to the atmosphere! Very fun.

Next came sparring. I started as the center referee in one of the rings. In Olympic TKD, you have three corner judges who are responsible for scoring points. You also have a center referee, who is responsible for ensuring that all the rules are obeyed, and dispensing point deductions when they are not. I've been a corner judge before, but this was my first time as a center ref at a tournament. It was very interesting! Definitely keeps you on your toes.

I had to opportunity to cheer for most of my teammates during their fights. They all did quite well, with few losses, and even those were close calls. Mine was among the very last sparring matches.

My opponent was a girl named Liz from Logan. She is a front-legged kicker, which isn't something you see in Olympic style very often. About thirty seconds into the match, she kicked me across the face with a front leg hook kick. We had to stop the match (kyeshi=medical time-out) so I could recover. But when the ref asked if I wanted to continue I said, "Yes sir, let's go."

Sparring is as much a psychological game as a physical one. When someone hurts you, you have to get right back up and get them back, otherwise they get the upper hand. Coming back in, I attacked--and pretty much chased her out of the ring and onto her butt. This response, I've seen watching other matches, can sometimes be taken for anger--like you're mad that they kicked you. In my case, that's rarely the case. But sometimes a little acting and lots of ferocious kiyaping can win the match.

Anyway, we continued on into our second round. I kept getting called for pushing. We can only punch with one hand; if you get caught punching with both hands, you can receive a half-point deduction for pushing. I really need to train this habit out of myself, because it was costing me points that I didn't have to give. Her style of kicking was frustrating, because I couldn't use my usual compliment of counters against her. We were down to the wire, and from the screams I could tell it was very close. She came in once again with that front leg kick, and I turned to back kick--and kicked her square under the chin.

Time was up, so they called the match in my favor, but I didn't feel triumphant, I felt rather guilty. She was off having an asthma attack. *sigh* I don't like to totally demoralize my opponents--and I've done that more than once--because I like sparring, and I want everybody to like sparring. Anyway, they took her off to the medic, and my coach soon dragged me off that way too to make sure I was okay after the head kick.

From the medic's impromptu station, we watched as the breaking competition got under way, and I had a chance to talk to Liz for a few minutes. Turns out that she was coming back from a 3-year hiatus from TKD--this week. !!! I can't even imagine. I mean, I was gone for almost that long, but I've been back and reconditioning since May. I can't imagine coming back and that same week fighting in a tournament--her FIRST EVER Olympic-style tournament. Foolish, foolish coaches. Anyway, we talked for a few minutes, and I don't know if it made her feel any better, but at least I felt like less of a monster!

Our team reconvened at TGI Friday's for a celebratory meal, and lots of pictures. We were able to discuss things that we did well, things we need to work on, but mostly we just enjoyed eating for pretty much the first time all day, and enjoying each others' company. I loved the camaraderie, and I hope that we can encourage more of our students to come out to tournaments. They're a blast!

I hope most people are more observant than this. Otherwise, the world is in trouble.

2009-10-09T08:24:00.006-07:00

Last night, I was going over my sparring gear to make sure that I had everything I needed for the tournament (TOMORROW!!), making sure my name was written on everything of mine, and dumping out all my excessive gear that just makes my bag really, really heavy.

Anna and Crystal were in my room with me, chatting as I processed the aforementioned gear. I happen to keep one of my old belts (blue, to be precise) in my bag, for stretching and slow kicking exercises. They were curious about the exercises, so I demonstrated a supported side kick on the wall, and with the belt, that means I can go pretty darn high. After demonstrating, I went back to my gear.

Crystal looked at me for a moment and said, "Wait, you mean you're really a black belt? Like, a real one?"

....

PS: Wish me luck at the tournament tomorrow!

An empty house is very, very quiet.

2009-10-07T21:19:00.003-07:00

I just got home (10pm), tired but pleased by my work tonight, only to find nobody home. How lame-sauce is that? When I get home at night, I love having roommates here to chat with, to talk about our days, to listen to their daily dramas...you know, girl-chat. Having nobody here is...lonely.

So I checked up on emails, chatted with another friend for a minutes...and now I'm just sitting here. All alone. In my empty house. I'm hungry, I'll probably cook "dinner" here in a minute. Maybe I'll watch a movie.

But sheesh! Where is everybody?

2009-10-06T11:26:00.004-07:00

The good news...

Autumn is wonderful, autumn is beautiful, and autumn is HERE.
Sam and I have been making great progress on our novel thus far this week.
Grady comes home tomorrow!
I'm competing in a tournament this Saturday!

The bad news

It is really, really cold in the office. I'm constantly trying to keep my hands warm, and they're already starting to chap.
I STILL haven't written my liberal arts statement. Hopefully Mom will help me...
Life is still crazy-busy. I feel like I have no time for socializing. Somehow I have to get this sorted out!

General Conference

2009-10-05T10:08:00.002-07:00

All I have to say is that Elder Holland is the man. Seriously.

But with regards to circumstances, I also want to say that I love General Conference weekend. It has such a great atmosphere. Saturday morning session I watched with my ward, along with a big breakfast. Very fun. Between sessions I went shopping with my Mama, whom I love dearly, for some new clothes (desperately needed). Then we watched the afternoon session at my parents' house. In the evening, I drove up to Salt Lake to spend the evening with some gal-friends, Ellen, Melissa and Dixy. We went to the Blue Iguana downtown. I don't think it was as fantasmic as Dixy hyped it up to be, but it was good and we made use of some excellent coupons.

After Priesthood session, we rejoined the menfolk, Matt, Justin and Christopher. We eventually made our way to a corn maze in West Jordan, where fun was had. Melissa and I spent the night on a mattress on Ellen's living room floor--oh the fond memories!

Sunday morning, Justin made us egg mcmuffins and we enjoyed the session (although, because of rain, my scrapbooking stuff stayed out in the car. Oh well). During the break, we watched The Singles Ward, which I haven't seen in several years. It was even cheesier than I remembered, but still funny. Melissa left us then, but during the afternoon session, we had a delicious minestrone soup made by Ellen, as well as a peach cobbler. Mm! That session was the aforementioned testimony borne by Elder Holland.

Basically, I just love the excuse to be with good friends, eat good food, have that crisp fall air (and in this case, a rather Seattle-like precipiation) and enjoy the ministration of the gospel. It's the perfect weekend.

PS: Gregory...I missed you. I don't know if you'd have joined us for conference, but I wish you could have been there for some of the other merriment, regardless. Loves!

Addendum to Hair

2009-10-01T10:49:00.003-07:00

I do have to admit that with really short hair, it'd be pretty hard to do this:

pics from my friend Dixy's wedding back in May. This was a good hair day for Valerie.

Most days, I hate my hair. It's an ongoing problem.

2009-09-30T09:23:00.007-07:00

We had a few guy friends over the other night, and somehow we ended up discussing hair (I think it was one small portion of a LONG discussion on dating and relationships). The young men expressed how they like long hair on girls. They find long hair to be more feminine and more attractive.

So, I've been growing out my hair. The purpose of this is multifaceted. The first reason is simply because I haven't had 'long' hair in a long time, and I wanted to try it out. The second reason is more complicated--my mother, bless her heart, has had the same hairstyle for about 20 years (although she's presently growing out her hair, and I'm very proud of her). Under absolutely no circumstances do I want to fall into that trap. I want to always be young and dynamic in my hair and dress (we'll see how that actually turns out). After wearing my hair the same way for 18 months or so, I decided that it was time to try something different. Since my hair couldn't get much shorter, it was time to grow it out. Beyond those reasons, however, was the simple desire to have 'long' hair (that's a relative term, of course) for my wedding...whenever that happens. However, it takes a long time to grow out hair, so it was worth starting.

My hair has been growing steadily, and I'm actually quite proud of the length I've attained. I can almost make a ponytail. I'm so close! I really really really want to be able to make ponytails again. I don't find them all that attractive on myself, but they will make Taekwondo so much less hassle. =)

However.

Almost every day, I think about cutting my hair. I really liked my old style. It was cute, it was spunky, it was very me. I don't know whether it would be considered feminine by these guys, or any of the guys I've gone out with. But I felt very attractive with this particular hairstyle. I am tempted all the time to return to it. But then all these months of hair-growing would be wasted. That's what I remind myself.

I don't want to be one of those women who has long hair, gets married, and then chops it all off. I think that's tacky. But I've had short hair consistently since I graduated from high school, so I don't think having short hair would be all that unusual for me.

My goal is to be strong for awhile yet. I want to be able to make ponytails. =) And maybe if it gets a little longer, I'll like it a little better. At any rate, we'll see what happens.

PS: I think boys are lucky, that they don't have to deal with this madness.

Good News Bad News

2009-09-25T08:33:00.003-07:00

Over at the Domestic Dork, "Good News Bad News" happens every Sunday, but Holly posts a lot more regularly than I do, so for me it just sort of happens whenever I feel like it. =) Here goes.

The good news...

The color belts have Belt Test tomorrow at the studio. It's been about three years since I helped with a belt test, and I'm actually kind of excited. It's fun to see what our students are accomplishing, fun to sit up on the board and participate. It will be a long, but ultimately rewarding, day.
Today is our end-of-the-month BBQ at work. I love these! And I think we're also celebrating all of the September birthdays...which includes me.
My parents are coming home from Washington this weekend. I've missed them.
I am officially going to be competing in at TKD tournament in October, and I'm freaking stoked. I'm sure I'll get my butt handed to me, but I'll have an awesome time doing it.
It's Friday!

The bad news...

I am so busy I can't even think straight. The only day this week I won't be at the studio is Sunday. (However, perhaps I should have included in the Good news, that I'm still enjoying it...just not enjoying that I never see my friends...or my novel...or really anything else...)
I STILL haven't written my Liberal Arts Statement.
I am missing the national board meeting of FSA tonight, and I'm frustrated and upset. We were suppposed to meet two weeks ago, but they up and moved the meeting to the day before belt testing, when I absolutely have to be at staff meeting for TKD. A friend on the board will be presenting my materials, but it's just not the same, and I'm grumpy about it.
Work is boring. Thus...I'm blogging. I need to be more productive!

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In the event of an emergency...

2009-09-23T09:50:00.003-07:00

At my apartment, we apparantly have a short circuit. One corner of our kitchen keeps losing power. We've thrown the circuit breaker a few times, which helps, but it just goes out again. *sigh* the joys of apartment life. At any rate, it started us thinking about fire hazards, and what to do in the event of an emergency.

One of the things we did was to ponder what we would take out of our house if it were on fire. I said to my roommates, "Decide on 5 things you would carry out. You have to be able to carry all 5 at once, cuz you only get one trip."

We decided that purses didn't count, they're attached, but if you have to add anything to the purse, those things count against the 5. We also determined that the 5 things have to be easily accessible--whether before or after we had the conversation they became so.

Here are the 5 things that I would carry out of my house if it were on fire.

1. My laptop.
2. My journals.
3. My scrapbook.
4. My scriptures.
5. My Dan certificate

Here's my thinking. 1. My laptop. All of my everythings are on my laptop. My novels. All my digital pictures that have never been printed. All my school work from college. Everything. Yes, I should back everything up, but I haven't. Besides, there's just a lot! If I lost my laptop, I think my world might come to an end. Just saying. 2. My journals are irreplacable. I have three of them at my apartment, and they cover the last 8 years of my life. They would be a devastating loss--I would feel like I had lost those years, because the record would be gone. 3. My scrapbook is not necessarily irreplacable; as long as I had my laptop, I would have all the pictures. But I've put an awful lot of work into my scrapbook and the memories within. So I'd take it too. 4. I would feel pretty sacrilegious if I didn't take my scriptures out of a burning building. So I would take them. =) and 5. The certificate from the Kukkiwon (international DUDES of taekwondo) that says I'm officially a black belt--and it costs a fortune and many many months to get replaced. So since I couldn't think of anything else I would save, I'd save this.

This is the thing--a fire would be, in any case, a devastating event. The loss of all my earthly belongings is not a pleasant thought. I would be so sad to lose all my books, all my furniture, my books, my piano, all those books, my clothing, my books, all my papers and documents and records, my books... But the point of this exercise was to identify those things that are most irreplacable and precious, so that if we had mere seconds to grab a few things, we would know immediately which things were most important. It saves time and perhaps a fair bit of panic in the moment.

The only downside--a fire is at least as likely to occur when none of us are home, and we're unable to save anything at all. *sigh*

What five things would you save in event of an emergency?

Black Belt Testing

2009-09-22T10:25:00.003-07:00

This blog post is dedicated to black belt testing. Not interesting to you? Don't read it. ;)

I need to see if I can find you any photos from my first black belt test. It was pretty sweet. I tested for my first degree black belt (in taekwondo aka as first Dan) in August 2005. That seems like forever. So it's about time that I test for my second degree. =)

I want to tell you about some of the cool things I get to do to test for my second Dan. After all, I spend a majority of my "free" time at the studio these days, which means this is a pretty big part of my life--which means, dear reader, that I want to share it with you. There are about ten different "categories" I will be tested in. I'm not going to tell you about all of them. Just the REALLY cool ones.

1. Forms. "Poomsae", as they're called in Korean, are a set series of movements that represent a variety of attackers. There are a LOT of forms--at our studio, each belt rank moving from white to black learns a new form. They get progressively more advanced and more challenging as you work up the ranks. Which also means they get COOLER. I have to show all the forms I learned as a color belt and first Dan (about 15 or so) plus two new ones for second Dan. I've learned one that I will be tested on. I'm stoked to learn the other one! I'm coming to really love forms, which wasn't true a few years ago!

2. Bo Staff Fighting Form. Do you know what a Bo Staff is? It's basically a stick as tall as you are. Well, as tall as I am, in this case. This is new for me, and I start learning it tomorrow--a form like those mentioned above, but with a bo staff. I think a staff is one of the most practical weapons to learn. Katanas and nunchuku and sais are cool-looking, but when would you ever actually use them? But a lot of things can be used for a staff, even on the street. So I'm excited to start learning.

3. Breaking! This is SO STINKING COOL. If you've never seen a breaking demonstration, you really should. We break things (boards, or sometimes bricks) with our bare hands, feet, elbows, etc. To test for my 2nd Dan, I have to break 10 boards--that's right 10 boards--using techniques as dictated by my instructor. That's actually more challenging than it might sound. Before now, I've gotten to choose in advance which kicks, strikes, etc I will use to break my boards. Gives you a chance to practice. But now I don't know which techniques I will need to use, so I have to practice everything! Most likely I will have to break 3-4 boards at once with a kick (a jump back kick, perhaps?) And my master has warned me of several others, including a triple spin hook kick, which I've accomplished ONCE. EVER. but will continue to work on. I just want to emphasize how totally awesome breaking is. We'll probably go through several trees' worth of boards that day. With killer kicks and hand techniques. SWEET MUFFYCAKES.

4. Self Defense Demo. This has the potential for so much awesomeness. Each of the black belt candidates have been put into a group. Within the group, we have to develop a "demonstration" that shows the practical application of all the self defense we know--and in my case, what we can come up with on our own. For those testing for their first degree, it's a lot more simple. The self defense techniques that they have to show off are dictated to them, and then they get to choose from the established curriculum as to what further techniques they demonstrate. My portion is a bit more challenging, as you might expect. First of all, I get to demonstrate knife and gun defense--which means my fellow student will attack me with a [fake] gun and knife, alternately, and I have to demonstrate how to defend against them. Secondly, I've been instructed to include a lot of throws/take-downs, both those in the curriculum and some of my own. We have to develop scenarios in which we would use all of these different self defense techniques. And there's a certain amount of showmanship to it as well--we have to make it look real, practical, and powerful. When done well, these demos are freaking amazing. I'm so excited!

That's all for now. Those are less than half of the things I get to do for testing, but they're the ones I'm particularly excited about. Incidentally, my black belt test is in January (which will come faster than either you or I can imagine). If you're local and interested, consider yourself invited. It's going to be awesome!

Tilapia

2009-09-21T23:12:00.002-07:00

I make a lot of goals with regards to my health, exercise, and dietary needs. I fail to follow through on most of these goals (alas...c'est la vie). However, I AM still trying to eat better (though I have a severe weakness for ice cream...and there is still FAR too much in my house).

Anyway, the last time I went grocery shopping I was looking for new and healthier things to feed myself, and I decided I wanted to buy some fish. After looking at all my options, I decided to purchase some frozen tilapia fillets. (Don't ask...it just seemed good at the time.) Anyhow, I decided to try it out.

I've never eaten tilapia before in my life. So it was kind of an adventure. I basted two fillets in lemon juice and lightly sprinkled them with garlic powder. Then I tried little sections with different spices. I tried about a dozen different spices, one at a time with little chunks of my fillets. I wanted to find out what I liked! It was a little silly, but still amusing.

My personal preferences leaned in high favor of the rubbed sage. Definitely my favorite. I also liked oregano and italian seasoning, in about equal measure. After those it was a bit of a wash. It was fairly good (with just the lemon juice and garlic powder); a bit plain, perhaps, but I think with a side vegetable it would have been all right.

Little life adventures!

Liberal Arts Background Statement

2009-09-17T12:50:00.003-07:00

From the MSW application:

LIBERAL ARTS BACKGROUND STATEMENT
Please submit a liberal arts background statement, between two to three double-spaced typewritten pages thatdescribes the liberal arts coursework completed in undergraduate and graduate study and how these coursesprovided the following: 1) An appreciation of how culture is expressed in literature, humanities, writing, languages, history, philosophy, mathematics and science; 2) An understanding of the diversity of individuals andcultures including the bio-psychosocial forces that influence human growth and development; 3) A commitment to enhance human rights and social justice; 4) an understanding of the diversity and interrelatedness of local, state, national,and global social problems; and 5) an understanding and appreciation of the importance of scientific inquiry and critical hinking.

What is it about this that intimidates me so? [this explains what they want you to address in the statement--at length.] Besides deciding on one more reference person, this is the last thing I have to do for my grad school application. I still have time...but I could be telling myself that right up until the deadline. I need to get this taken care of, but I keep putting it off.

In all seriousness, if you have some advice on how to address this, please tell me. I'm really struggling with this one.

Good News Bad News extensive version

2009-09-16T10:53:00.004-07:00

The good news...

My crazy financial situation for Taekwondo has been resolved to everyone's satisfaction. No more stressing about THAT.
I'm going to assist in a new tkd class today--advanced childrens. Should be fun!
I now have 3/4 reference people for my grad school application.
My black belt report is done, turned in, signed sealed delivered.
This weekend should be really fun--roller skating date, and lazer tag with my ward, and more. I'm excited.
I will be competing in a tournament in October, and I'm stoked. I haven't competed since August 2006. Should be an adventure!
My flights for PA are purchased--I'll be flying into Philadelphia, a city of my heart. I can't wait!
I've been WRITING for the first time in WEEKS. Writing makes me happy. So do my random characters, who are never what I expect them to be.

The bad news...

My shoulder still really hurts. It's been like two and a half weeks now. Grr...
I'm going to assist in a new tkd class today...and every Wednesday...and I'm starting to feel the pinch of NO free time AT ALL. Not sure I had that hour to give...
I still need to decide on 1 last person to send a reference letter for my grad school application.
I STILL need to write my Liberal Arts statement for my grad school application.
I'm reaching a point of burn-out that I need to address before I explode...but I can't find the time!
My parents are in Washington for at least a week, and I will miss them. *sigh*

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I love my parents

2009-09-15T09:09:00.002-07:00

Last night, I went to my parents house for the specific purpose of enlisting my mother to help me reconcile my checkbook. I think that it's a sign of her motherly love for me, because seriously, my checkbook was a disaster.

Then I helped my daddy with his resume. It's so weird to be helping my father in this way--kind of a role reversal. But it was fun, and hopefully the changes I encouraged will be of use as he continues the job hunt. (Incidentally...I HATE job hunting. Haven't we discussed this before?)

Afterward we just sat around talking for awhile. Mostly about all the crap in my life that stresses me out. I'm grateful to have them, that they just listened, oftered their advice without judgment, and then helped me move forward.

Oh, and we have fresh peaches and cream. Mmm.

Seriously folks. I have the best parents on the face of the planet. I'm just sayin'. Although, I hope my mom does okay by herself getting her hair cut. Her first new style in like...20 years. Good luck mama!

9/11

2009-09-11T10:22:00.002-07:00

When I got to school that morning, the first tower had already been struck.

I didn't know what the World Trade Center was. I wasn't familiar with that silhouette against the Manhattan skyline. When I first saw the smoking building, I did not understand what had happened, or why it was important.

I was in my 10th grade US History class, and I watched live as the second plan flew out of nowhere to hit the second tower. I watched live as the towers fell.

The TV stayed on all day long. No one could think, could function. Some teachers tried to press on with classes. Some just watched the TV right along with us.

We were all messed up that day. Some were in tears. Some just watched with blank stares, uncomprehending. The day seemed unending. The twin towers. The Pentagon. Flight 93. The conspiracy theories, the cries of anger and devasation mingled together with such a grave sense of loss that none of us could fully encompass. We were all together that day, all of us, all Americans and so many others across the globe. There hasn't been anything else like it in our lifetime.

Some call it our Pearl Harbor. Except, our nation didn't watch the Pearl Harbor bombings live in color. I wasn't in NYC that day, but I still lived through it. We all lived through it together.

I hope it doesn't take this kind of disaster for us to unite like we did that day, that year. We still need that togetherness, but in the intervening years it has faded. Hopefully today, on this memorial, we'll be able to recapture the unity we once shared in the face of devastation.

Good News Bad News

2009-09-09T09:00:00.004-07:00

The Good News?

I had an AWESOME birthday, thanks to my many friends, family, roommates and coworkers who made it special. {I LOVE ICE CREAM}
I'm almost done with my grad school application! Hoping to submit soon.
I finally got to see the Ensign article where I'm quoted. AND I just did a phone interview with The Daily Herald. I'm famous! {The Ensign article was not as exciting as everybody made it out to be. I'm quoted once, and it's way in the back. Not really that cool}
Looking forward to going out with a certain young man again this weekend. =)

The Bad News...

I am REALLY tired today {a combo of the late night and coming to work early today}, and my shoulder REALLY hurts {thanks to rolls, grabs, throws and breakfast last night in black belt class}.
I still haven't written the Liberal Arts Statement for my grad school application. I honestly can't figure out what to say.
My black belt report is due in 6 days, and I can't find any good sources. {I'm supposed to write on the purpose and meaning of forms, and what they teach us. Any ideas???}

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The Day of Birth

2009-09-08T10:28:00.003-07:00

Yes, today is the day. Today I am one year older. They say I'm supposed to be wiser too, but I think that's up for speculation. =)

I had a GREAT weekend, pre-celebration for my birthday. My bestest best friend Melissa came down from Ogden to spend the weekend with me, which I appreciated muchos, because there were many other fun things she could have been doing instead. On Friday night, we partied with our dear Gregorio in anticipation of HIS departure to grad school next week. We had a great time at his house with swimming, homemade ice cream, and Rock Band!

It is a show of how much my Liss loves me, that on Saturday morning she attended my great-grandmother's funeral with me. My grandma lived with my family for 10 years, right during my teenagehood. She was one of my dearest friends, and certainly one of my earliest artistic inspirations. I played Jon Schmidt's "Funeral Hymn" at the service. I saw some relatives I haven't seen in ages. You know what brings family together--weddings and funerals.

But Saturday evening was the real treat, and my birthday present from my parents. The parentals, Liss and I went to Thanksgiving Point for a Jon Schmidt concert! If you're unfamiliar with Jon Schmidt, check out his website. He's my favorite pianist and composer. And he's a HYSTERICAL entertainer. His concert was so enjoyable! And it was celebrating the release of his new album, "Bonus Tracks", which my dear wonderful parents also bought for me at the concert. So much fun music! I loved it.

On Sunday we relaxed. I relax seldom enough that I appreciate every opportunity. We had church, we had dinner, we watched "The Devil Wears Prada", and then we just chilled and chatted. It was great!

Errands (but fun ones) were Monday's agenda. Grocery shopping, gas, a quick but fun visit to Barnes & Noble for a bday gift from MOI, over to Wally World for a pinata to smash at my party tonight, and over to the Thai Village for some yummy curry! I tried the Pumpkin Curry, and actually I REALLY enjoyed it. Tastilicious!

The only bad part of the whole weekend was saying goodbye to my best friend. I struggle! I wish we lived closer together. Alas!

Tonight, it's TKD and then a party at my house with the aforementioned pinata. I'm so excited! Hopefully it's going to be a GREAT birthday, despite my onset of ancientness. =)

When God keeps poking you, you'd better start listening!

2009-09-02T10:23:00.003-07:00

I don't mean that statement to be sacreligious or in any way disrespectful. But I honestly believe that God uses other people to 'poke' you, to give you hints and nudges and a bit of a wake up call. Welcome to my life.

In the space of 12 hours, four people asked me when/if I was going back to school. It had been on my mind anyway, with school starting and a bunch of my friends starting classes. But then in less than a day, I got asked again and again about me going back.

Little pokes. Little nudges.

If you know me at all, you know about my impulsiveness. This is how it works--I start thinking about doing something. I stew about it for a looooooooong time. I might bounce the idea off a few select people, or I might keep it to myself. But when I finally make the decision, I take action immediately. I make it happen. Right. Now.

I started thinking about going to grad school last year. Do any of you remember that? I decided that I wanted to study social work. But as I was looking at the application for the program I was interested in, A) I was too late for this year's deadline, and B) of equal importance to education on the application was volunteer work in the field. At the time, I had none. So though school wasn't an option at the time, I still got interested in volunteer work. I contacted my caseworker down in Cedar City, who recommended me up north, I pursued it, got in touch with some key people at family services...and now I have nine solid months of volunteer work behind me, and my passion for the field has multiplied far beyond what my original interest led me to believe.

At this point, I'm just going to apply. Applying hurts me nothing, and could gain me a great deal. I have found something that I love to do, something worthwhile, and something I can make a career of. The chances of getting the kind of position that I want increase significantly with a degree--particularly a master's degree--in the field. And what is there to hold me back?

Today I feel ancient...and kind of morose about it.

2009-09-01T08:56:00.003-07:00

One week from today, I will turn 23 years of age.

I'm sorry to ye elder readers, but 23 feels old. It's a sign of my culture, but many of the women I know who are my age, are married. With children. That's what you get living in Utah County, I suppose, but it still makes me feel somewhat old-maidish.

On the one hand, it's nice to feel like an adult, regardless of my single state. I'm just a "twenty-something," as dear Gregorio would say. Being 23 and single has limitless possibilities (if I were interested in pursuing them).

On the other hand, I don't much care for adult concerns. Insurance, career choices, responsibilities that I still do not feel prepared to deal with. The pains of old age, my friends.

I'm not sure yet what I'll be doing for my birthday. I have the misfortune to share my birthday with Labor Day weekend most years, so people usually have plans that do not coincide with celebrating with me. And other things have come up--other parties, funerals, work--so I don't know when or if I'll actually be having a party. Yet another symptom of old age--when your birthday just doesn't matter anymore! =)

You want me to kick that target after spinning how many times? Are you freaking kidding me?

2009-08-27T22:23:00.002-07:00

Taekwondo was discouraging. I'll explain why.

In some ways, coming back to Taekwondo was like starting afresh. You start at this place of "I suck". (just go with me here) You look around at everybody else and see how amazing they are, and you think to yourself, "boy, I really need to work harder."

So you work harder. You start to improve. You like that, so you work even harder. You continue to improve. Things start feeling good. You start to feel like you're getting it. You're excited, because you feel like you're accomplishing something. You're progressing. You even start to feel like you're good at it.

Your instructors notice. They decide to push you harder.

And you go straight back to "I suck." The instructors ask you to do more, to do harder things, to do things you've NEVER done before. The others around you start looking like giants again--like they can do things that you can never, ever, ever do. Your instructors ask you to perform, and you feel like it is an impossible task. You feel like you suck.

Now, the response to this is...that's right--work harder. But after getting to that point of "man, I feel great, I'm so on top of this shiz," it's pretty hard to go back to feeling like a wreck again. Don't worry--I'm going to get back on the horse and work harder again. But tonight I just want to wallow for a little while.

Tomorrow...I'll get back to trying Nadabon (spinning roundhouse kick)-->360* jump spinning hook kicks.
X-p

Nostalgia

2009-08-26T10:00:00.004-07:00

I read a blog post just now where the writer said, "I don't normally wax nostalgic, but it happened the other day."

There are a set of specific things that, without fail, will lay nostalgic claims upon me. There are times of year that are particularly rife with these nostalgic moments--particularly the late spring and the early fall.

This time of year just gets me. It's the mystical time of Back to School. The nostalgia is so much worse, not being in school. I miss it, I do. Right now, I can't help but think to myself, "Maybe I could back, to study...something..." I have loved school my entire life. I wonder if that craving will ever entirely leave me.

But even more so, I just love the fall. It is without a doubt my favorite season of the year. I love the crispness in the air, the mystery of the evenings, the crunch of dry leaves, the color of those selfsame leaves upon the mountainside, the feeling of the holidays approaching, the feeling of infinite capacity that overcomes me.

I love autumn colors. I think I would love to be married in the fall--early enough so I could still have an outdoor reception, but still with those rich and glorious colors. Rust and scarlet, the beautiful oranges that are just rich enough not to be Halloween-y and garish, the goldenrod-yellows and the deep, glorious browns. Fall colors sing to me.

Japanese night

2009-08-20T09:46:00.004-07:00

I love sushi. Can I just tell you? I think sushi is one of the most delectable foods I have ever eaten. There is such a wonderful combination of taste and texture that I just delight to experience.

Last night was a pleasant evening spent with friends. After work, I went to the Mt. Timpanogos temple to do baptisms for the dead, as I do on most Wednesdays. Usually, they whip me in and out of there in under an hour. But last night, I got stuck behind two youth groups...so it took much longer than usual. Alas! So I was late to sushi night, but that's okay.

We gathered at Sushi Ya's, which is on south State Street in Orem right next to the bowling alley. It's our all-around favorite sushi place. My new favorite of the evening was the "hybrid roll". Don't ask me what was in it, I don't remember. But it was delicious!

It's funny, because a couple of my friends kept rushing through the orders, trying to get the next round ordered quickly. I can't quite blame them, they've been practically fasting for three days, so they were hungry! However, it's not really my style. Going out to dinner, especially somewhere more fancy than usual, I just like to relax, eat slowly, and enjoy the company. A good meal, particular something outside the usual, should be savored.

Anyhow, then we retired to Jameson's brother's house to watch Kenshin. Now, I hope that you realize, dear reader, that I have a great deal of innate nerdiness. Sometimes I try to disguise it--sometimes I don't. This is just one of these things that I can't help but enjoy. "Rurouni Kenshin" is a Japanese anime about a wandering samurai in 19th century Japan. The hero, Kenshin, was an assassin during a revolution ten years prior, but has since given up murder and resolved to lead a peaceful life. The very best episodes of the series (in my opinion) are the episodes that show Kenshin on the verge of breaking and reverting to his old self. He hovers on that brink in a couple of key episodes, and they're easily the best fight scenes.

At least I own up to my nerdiness, guys. And as I'm currently writing a martial arts novel, I view it as research and inspiration. ;)

A better lifestyle

2009-08-11T22:38:00.001-07:00

My taekwondo master always encourages us to strive to be our best possible selves. Today during meditation, we repeated to ourselves the mantra, 'it's amazing being me.' I am trying to take these lessons to heart, and I am striving to improve my life and my lifestyle. It is a constant work in progress. But as they say, writing down goals helps me achieve them. So here are a few of the changes I am making.

First of all, I'm eating better. I've started adding a lot more fruits and vegetables to my diet, and cutting out the processed foods. This is huge! Real food does take more time to prepare, but I think that time is worth the good health and how much better I feel about myself. Also, and this is VERY hard for me, I'm trying to cut out more sugar. Very hard for me. But I'm trying. Maybe I'll set more specific goals soon.

The next step is my cross-training. Of course, I do taekwondo, which I love, but I'm only there a few hours each week. So I'm cross-training. Right now its cycling, because it's helping me to strengthen my bad knee. My goal right now is 30 minutes three times a week. So far I've only been managing one or two times a week, but I am going to improve.

Thirdly, I'm just trying to be more active. I spend FAR too much time parked in front of the boob tube, and I'm trying to cut back on that. Whether its my cycling, or walking, or practicing TKD in the living room, I'm striving to be more active all the time.

All these things work together to improve the quality of life. I'm far from perfect, and I have a VAST amount of improvement lying before me. But I DO feel better, and better about myself.

I challenge you to make a goal this week that will help you to be better in some way! Let me know how it goes. :)

Updates on The Oddity

2009-08-06T13:22:00.003-07:00

The FSA National Conference was fantastic! I had a wonderful time, as an attendee and as something of an event manager. I enjoyed in equal measure the classes for my own sake, as well as ensuring everything happened the way it was supposed to. But that's just me! For the longest summary EVER, please visit my other blog.

So now it's back to life, though with a few changes here and there.

The biggest such change is that I'm going to be teaching Taekwondo this fall. I've been given one class so far, an "all-ranks" childrens class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I got to visit that class for a few minutes on Tuesday, and it was fun. The kids seem to have a lot of energy, and they were excited to be there. I hope that I'll be a good teacher for them! I've never taught a childrens class before, so it will be an adventure!

In case you didn't know, I'm working toward my second degree black belt, which I am going to test for in January. That may seem far off to YOU, but for ME, it's coming up mighty fast! I'm still very out of shape, and it's going to take a lot of work to get in shape, as well as to learn and prepare everything I will need to test. Adventures!

As far as the works of me and my Muse, things move slowly. My co-authorship with Sam is still plugging along. I find myself frequently distracted, and it's difficult to focus long enough to be honestly productive. I seriously need a getaway, just for writing. But lacking that, I just plug along as best I can. (Still in love with Google Docs, by the way.)

Life is good. I'm busy, which is the best way to be. I'm happy with the things that I'm doing. Onward, ever onward!

Focused on the goal

2009-07-28T11:31:00.003-07:00

This weekend, July 31-August 1, is the Families Supporting Adoption national conference.

I have been working on this conference for over four months. I got asked if I wanted to "be involved" and "help out" (such innocent terms), which quickly involved into a full-fledged planning committee, of which I quickly became a co-chair.

Last year was the first time birth parents were invited to attend the conference. There were a total of six classes offered for birth parents, only on the second day of the conference.

Our planning committee (which didn't exist last year either) quickly decided that this wasn't nearly enough. As we brainstormed ideas for sessions and presenters, we quickly expanded to fill both days of the conference. We more than doubled the size of the birth parent portion (which is still barely a fifth the size of the adoptive-couple side).

All of our hard work and time has come down to the wire. The conference starts Friday morning. Of course there will be hiccups, as there have been constantly over the past weeks. But I am so excited.

This conference represents the culmination of my passions. Firstly, I love adoption, I advocate adoption, and I love talking to people about adoption. And this is two whole days of talking about adoption. Secondly, I love organizing things. This conference has let me off the leash, and I have been able to organize and facilitate and detail-out to my heart's content. It's the utmost use of my stage management and administrative abilities.

It's going to be awesome.
It's going to be inspiring. (except maybe for MY presentations!)
It's going to be the adoption event of the year.

And I can't wait for it to be over. :P

Google Docs: A tool for co-writing

2009-07-17T10:25:00.003-07:00

I've never really used Google Docs before. I've heard about it, here and there. But I simply have never possessed a need for it. I had Box.net for online storage, where I don't just use my wonderful Gmail account. But then I heard about file sharing.

My friends, this is not just storage. That's what I thought I was dealing with. I have a file, I save it on Google Docs, and then someone else I invite to share can also look at said saved document. And realistically, I could have simply done this through my Box.

But its better. So far beyond better, it's in an entirely different realm. It went from "oh, that's cool" realm straight up to, "THIS IS FREAKING AMAZING" realm.

It's live file sharing. Every time it saves the document, the text gets updated for all the users, simultaneously. And it auto-saves about every five seconds. You can literally be working on the same document simultaneously.

Do you see the potential?

My friend Sam and I are working on a new project, something we've been brainstorming for many weeks now. We have finally started writing. So in an effort to improve our co-authorship, I decided to check out Google Docs.

We can literally co-write. As I write, the text automatically updates itself on Sam's computer, and vice versa. We can make instantaneous corrections and changes. We can compare notes and work from the same set of written brainstorming. THIS IS FREAKING AMAZING.

Ladies and gentlemen, the muse has descended. Please excuse me while I join Google for some much-needed writing time. Ciao!

Harry Potter: A Review

2009-07-15T22:43:00.002-07:00

I'll admit it, I like David Yates as a HP director. I know there are a lot of people who don't like the work he's done the last two installments, but I really do. I think that it's artistically appealing, on a visual and auditory level. And he also manages some nice emotional moments.

Even though they are aware that it's a cinematic adaptation, people still forget. They see that HP logo and they want the book that's in their head to be on the screen. It's just not going to happen, folks. Books and movies are entirely different medium, and they have to be treated accordingly for any kind of enjoyment of the latter.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is one of my favorite books of the series, though I have found it's often overlooked by others. The thing I enjoy most about the book is the closeness that Dumbledore finally allows himself with Harry. And that was played true in the movie.

I enjoyed the teen romance. Lavender was just as annoying in the movie as I experienced her in the book. Harry and Ginny never quite connected, for me, but that's just a shrug, whatever for me. And the hospital scene with Ron and Hermione was cute.

I do have to admit that the chase scene at the end was anti-climatic. I recognized the reasons for omitting the battle, and I'm fine with that. But Harry practically laid down and took it from Snape. And I felt like Snape should have lost control more. He could have been cold and menacing still, but I felt none of the barely-suppressed fury that I expected, and I felt let down afterward.

Incidentally, I really enjoyed the humor of this installment. I laughed more than I've ever laughed in a HP movie. The jokes were funny, the implied humor was amusing.

Again, I enjoyed the movie on an artistic level. I feel like the cinematography was some of the best we've seen in the series. And the music! No John Williams here, friend! It had only the barest hints of his original theme, and some of it was just plain haunting. The sweeping shots of Hogwarts, the scene with Harry and Hermione on the stairs with the snow falling behind them, the sunset with Fawkes leaving...beautiful.

Overall, I think it was a good movie. I think it stayed true to the heart of the book, which is more than you can really expect from most adaptations. There's no way all of our favorite moments could have been included, and a movie is structured differently from a book anyway. I believe that it makes a solid movie, and I give David Yates a thumbs-up to finishing the series. Now to wait another 18 months...

Harry Potter

2009-07-14T11:13:00.002-07:00

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince comes out this week. I still don't know when I'm seeing it, but hopefully soon! The previews have me excited.

The last movie, Order of the Phoenix, was the first of the movies that I actually enjoyed. I felt that the director and the screenwriter created an excellent adaptation that stayed true to the spirit of the book without trying to quote the book word-for-word. Also...they had an artistic vision. I can't say that for all the HP directors.

Fortunately, David Yates took on HBP. Hopefully, he does as good a job with this one as he did with the last!

Harry Potter is such a strange creature. Deathly Hallows is now two years old, but the franchise is still strong. I grew up with Harry Potter, and I know many who feel the same way. No matter what you say about the style or quality of writing, no matter what you say about originality or lack thereof, you cannot deny that there is something special about Harry Potter. Something that has kept millions of readers and movie viewers engaged for a decade and more.

So yes, I'm very excited for the new movie. I'll give you my thoughts after I've seen it! Stay tuned.

Fourth of July recap

2009-07-06T09:05:00.004-07:00

I love the Fourth of July. It definitely ranks among my top favorite holidays. It's the only major mid-summer holiday. It's got the fireworks, the barbeques, the watermelon, the swimming, the red white and blue. The Fourth of July is relaxing.

Especially this year. There were a few instances of fireworks prior to the actual Fourth. Friday night I had dinner with my family, then spent the evening with the Page's, and then with some ward-friends. Saturday morning, I slept in, and then read a book in bed until noon. I got up and cleaned my apartment, which actually was wonderful, because it's been getting ridiculous and I love a clean home. At the last possible moment, I made some rice crispie treats. 10 minutes flat, folks. I love rice crispie treats. They are easy, they are quick, they are cheap, and they are delicious.

Then is was off to my date. That's right. He's from my ward, and I like him a lot. =) We went to the Freedom Festival in downtown Provo, which actually was not as exciting as years past. I now have a good judge on his taste in ties, though. We watched a hypnotist show (it wasn't all that great, but it was nevertheless amusing) and had dinner at the fair. We met up with the Pages, and walked from their house to the stadium.

Now for a funny story. So...I had made these rice crispie treats. At the stadium, they weren't allowing any outside food or drink, and there were a bunch of people at the entrance checking bags and retaining everybody's snacks and whatnot. Well, the guard rather quickly found my rice crispies, and told me that I couldn't take them in. We stepped off to the side. I was in distress! Bret just wanted me to give up the rice crispies so we could rejoin my friends. But I stuffed one bag of rice crispies into the bottom of my purse and buried it with other stuff. Then I went back to the same guard. She was busy poking through somebody's purse. I handed her the second bag of rice crispies, and she just waved us through. Triumph! And so me and my date and my contraband rice crispies proceeded into the stadium.

Then it was time for the Stadium of Fire. I've never been before, and I'm not sure this was the best one for a first experience. But still enjoyable! The best part, to be honest, was the little patriotic dancing girls, who did the wave and other things with their flags. There was SheDaisy, which was tolerable, Glenn Beck and his Music-Man-dancer-singer-peeps, which was odd, and the Jonas Brothers, who went on for far too long. At least we didn't actually want to hear them, though. What with the screaming and the girls behind us who sang every word of every song, they were pretty much drowned out. But seriously...the fireworks were worth the whole thing. They were awesome. They were long, loud and beautiful. Oh, and the military fly over was cool too. =)

After the Stadium of Fire, we waded through the masses on our way back to the Pages, where we sat for an hour waiting for traffic to (somewhat) disperse. We hade cheese and BBQ sauce on Ritz crackers. I'd never tried this combination before, but I'm now completely sold. Mm. Then it was homeward bound after a long and well-spent day.

I love the Fourth of July! I still have a good handful of sparklers that need to be set off. Maybe some post-holiday celebration this evening...

What did you do for the Fourth?

I have the internet on my phone

2009-07-02T15:52:00.002-07:00

And it's the shiz. Seriously. I mean, I'm an internet addict anyway. But now I get it on my phone. Last night I was able to check Facebook while in the car with my parents driving 70 mph toward the Oquirrh temple. I can finally grasp the appeal of Twitter--when you can update your status from anywhere, suddenly you want to. It's still ridiculous, but at least it now makes sense. I answered an email in the middle of a croquet game on my lawn later in the evening. I forwarded one last note from my bed before going to sleep.

Welcome to my new addiction.

A sad commentary

2009-06-30T08:03:00.003-07:00

This morning, I received a business email from one of our company associates. This would be a professional marketer who works with my company. The email was literally riddled with spelling, grammatical and punctuation errors. It made me cross-eyed just trying to read it. It was barely comprehensible. It was embarrassing! I was embarrassed for him, that this working professional couldn't take the time to use a spell-checker, which is a sad commentary in and of itself.

Why did our society stop caring about this? When did it become socially acceptable for a working businessman to be unable to write properly? Honestly, I see emails like this, and I can't repress a certain amount of scorn. It automatically makes me feel like I'm dealing with someone uneducated, or at least uncaring.

Good writing skills are supposedly important. I wish we could take out the 'supposedly' there. I mean, doesn't the business world (and most of the rest of the world too, right?) function on good communication? Which is being severely hindered by the texting generation, and the utterly blase attitude toward anything remotely resembling educated thought.

Reader, I plead with you. Don't fall prey. Use good writing skills. At the very least, please employ your spell checker. It would do us all a world of good.

Life is good

2009-06-29T08:40:00.002-07:00

I haven't been a very avid blogger here at the Muse lately. I just wanted to report that life is good. It is (predictably) very busy. I work full time, I go to church activities and to Taekwondo, I work hard as a volunteer with FSA, and I try to play hard with my friends, roommates, and ward members.

I've started working on edits of the novel I finished in January (aka the Behemoth). My friend Sam and I are also working on development for a new project, but we'll see how it goes. It feels good to be writing, I've been rather stymied in that department for awhile now.

Also, I've picked up "Warbreaker" by Brandon Sanderson, who is my current favorite fantasy author. So far I'm enjoying it immensely, as I have all of his work thus far. I'll give you the full scoop when I'm done.

Woot!

Families Supporting Adoption conference!

2009-06-18T11:25:00.001-07:00

The national conference of Families Supporting Adoption is coming up fast! On July 31& August 1, friends of adoption will gather from across the country for two days of education, discussion, and networking.

I'm particularly excited to announce the birthparent portion of this conference. It's grown a TON from last year's conference (the first time birth families were invited to attend) and there are going to be lots of great classes for birth parents in every stage. Here's just some of the session topics:

-What Adopted Children Need From Their Birth Parents
-What's Next: Living Life Post-Adoption
-Uniting as a Birth Family
-Deciding Who, When, & How to Tell Your Adoption Story
-Being a Birth Mother is Just One Part of Who I Am
-Navigating the Difficult Conversations
-Telling Your Children Your Adoption Story
-Sharing Your Passion for Adoption
-Letting Go and Moving Forward
-Husbands of Birth Mothers (Panel)
-Desires, Expectations, and Disappointments
-Step by Step Through Your Pregnancy & Placement
-United by Love

While Families Supporting Adoption is closely connected to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, birth parents of all backgrounds are invited to attend, for FREE! All the details are over at this blog: http://lettinglovelead.blogspot.com.

Spread the word! It's going to be a great conference, for birth families and adoptive families alike. If you have any questions, let me know!!

New York City, part II

2009-06-15T12:33:00.003-07:00

Let me just say this: my expectations for Wicked were COMPLETELY blown out of the water.

It was amazing. (Read: REALLY FREAKING ASTOUNDINGLY AMAZING.) Afterward, I was at a loss for words. All of the little tiny nit-picky details that had bugged me about Wicked in Chicago were gone. And so much more! It was wonderful.

The best thing about Wicked is that it is so clever. The script is clever. The lyrics are clever. The music is clever. It's all so well-written. It takes your breath away.

Obviously, I really enjoyed Wicked. =)

Friday morning, we started off by getting lost on the Subway. We ended up in Brooklyn, briefly. That subway station, by the way, was incredibly ghetto. The best ones are the ones where all the tourists go. Anyway, we eventually made it back to Manhattan, down at Battery Park. From there, we boarded a ferry on our way out to the Statue of Liberty.

It had rained all day Thursday, and the fog Friday morning had us worried. However, during our trip over to Liberty Island, things started to clear up. The Statue of Liberty was beautiful. It was even larger than I thought it would be. We walked around the island and took pictures, and I enjoyed it immensely. Definitely recommend it on your future visits. Then we sailed over to Ellis Island. In the brochure itself it says to plan on at least three hours to even begin to see everything at the museum. Well, we sure didn't have that kind of time. So after a brief stop and a glance, we were back on the ferry and heading back to Manhattan.

After lunch, we walked down through the finanical district, past Wall Street and the bull and the square where Peter almost blows up New York at the end of the first season of Heroes. Then it was a block over to Ground Zero. You can't see much, now, because the whole block is wrapped up for construction. But it was still powerful to see this whole block, empty but for the construction cranes. Crazy.

Then it was up to the Empire State Building. I was thinking it would be like the Space Needle...pretty, but not that exciting. However, we got the audio tour as part of our city pass. Totally worth it! I wish we had done the audio tour at the Met. With that, we were able to identify what we were looking at. I've got such a better understanding of New York City now than I ever would have without it. And the view! It was crazy. 86 floors up, you sure can see a lot!!

Friday evening we saw The Phantom of the Opera. We sat on the 2nd row. Seriously! When the chandelier dropped, it was literally dropping right toward me. So cool. However, Phantom just didn't measure up to Wicked, or to the Lion King. Still AMAZING, of course. And the technical aspects were really stinkin' cool. =)

On Saturday morning, we were visited by some relatives of my mother's. I swear to you, I've never heard of most of these people before. I'm pretty sure my mom's only met them once before. But it was nice, I suppose, if awkward. It was my grandpa's sister and her three kids, along with a husband and a boyfriend. They were over for about two hours. The hummus was very popular.

Then it was off to the matinee of The Lion King. Again...astounding. Blown. Away. I was expecting it to be good, but I've seen the movie and we have the original Broadway cast recording. So I wasn't expecting to be surprised. But I was blown away. The puppetry. The technical aspects. But the singing! The vocals were overpowering. I was moved. Mm.

After the Lion King, we hurried over to this big discount ticket place to see what tickets we could get for that evening. We were (yes!) hoping that we could go see Wicked again, but it was probably sold out months in advance. Without Wicked, we were a bit at a loss. Dad wanted to see South Pacific. Mom wanted to see...something else, I can't remember. I kind of wanted to see 9 to 5: the Musical! but only because Allison Janney is in it, and I love her. We considered Mary Poppins, but eventually settled on Shrek the Musical.

Yes, sounds silly, doesn't it? But don't worry, it was still entertaining.

First we went shopping (my mom and her shopping! She's so funny) then out to get some authentic (read: GREASY) New York pizza. I won't lie. I prefer Chicago-style pizza. The thin-crust stuff just doesn't do it for me. The Pesto was good. The grease was gross.

Then it was back over to the Broadway Theater for Shrek the Musical. It was some lighthearted entertainment. I found that the music itself was good, but that the lyrics weren't particularly clever. Lord Farquaad was highly entertaining. But overall, it just didn't compare to the other shows we saw.

Sunday we were homeward bound. I would just like to reiterate here that I hate traveling on airplanes. They make me sick, they are claustrophic, and they are exhausting. After finally arriving home, I crashed from about 8 o'clock pm until 7 o'clock this morning. If time weren't always so limited, I would rather drive.

My feet are sore

2009-06-11T13:45:00.003-07:00

In case you didn't pick this up from other sources (aka Facebook, email or ME), I'm in New York City! It's a family vacation with my parental unit, whom I adore for bringing me and indulging me every step of the way. =)

We got up at 3am Mountain time yesterday, caught a flight from SLC to Minneapolis. Our flight out of there was delayed, and THEN we were put in a holding pattern above Pennsylvania for over half an hour while the weather cleared in NY. Finally we landed at La Guardia. Then we took a taxi into Manhattan--and I will make a note here that my mother does not handle taxi rides well. Sorry mom, just sayin'. Finally we arrived at our hotel. It's called the Manhattan Club, and it's literally a block off Broadway, and just a few minutes' walk from Times Square, which we visited later last evening after a dinner at the Whole Foods Market just off Columbus Circle. Times Square, by the way, is a gaudy tourist trap, but it was still immensely satisfying to go and take pictures like any other tourist. There's just something about five-story neon ads for musicals that makes my blood race.

This morning we were part of the studio audience for "Live with Regis and Kelly", except that they had given out too many tickets, and we had to stand off to one side in the aisle. I'm pretty sure we were on TV once, for about a second and a half. But it was still fun to go and see the live filming of a TV show. The stage manager (or whatever her title is) was fun. She had tape on her pants and what looked like four sharpies strung on a lanyard around her neck.

Then we took a stroll across Central Park, which is a lot bigger than you imagine it being, even being forwarned that it will be bigger than you think it will be. We didn't even see half of it. I wore my cute new shoes, and they gave me a blister (or maybe two), but still totally worth it. After exiting the park, we bought lunch from a sidewalk stand, and they totally ripped off my dad. You live and you learn, I guess.

But the highlight of the afternoon (well, the sole thing we did this afternoon!) was visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It is enormous. They say they have over two million works of art. The museum practically takes up a city block. We spent, what? four hours there? More? And I feel like we barely breezed through. I really loved the 19th century paintings (those were the ones I recognized most frequently--lots of Van Gogh and Degas and Picasso, etc), but I also really enjoyed the early European paintings and sculpture. They also had an ENORMOUS wing of Ancient Egyptian stuff--that was the first exhibit we visited, so we spent more time there than those that followed, because we hadn't yet realized that it would take us years to get through at that pace. Anyway, it was an amazing experience.

Tonight we're going to see WICKED. I'm very excited. I'd probably be more excited (as in, ridiculously, uncontrollably excited), except that I saw it last year in Chicago. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very excited. =) But for me there is a magic in a show that I've never seen before. That's why both Phantom of the Opera and the Lion King have a bit more hold on me right now. We're also thinking about seeing a fourth show on Saturday night, possibly the Fantasticks? We'll have to see--we were planning to go to two museums today and only made it through the one, so we'll have to see what happens. Either way, I'm a happy girl.

Yay for New York City!

Watch the video, it makes me laugh

2009-06-01T12:58:00.004-07:00

GOING CAMPING

2009-05-29T10:44:00.003-07:00

I absolutely love camping. I am ecstatic to be (finally) going camping for the first time this year. Hopefully there will be many more trips to come. With several friends, I'm going to my favorite place on Earth. It's a little recreation area in Southern Utah called Red Cliffs. It's a slot canyon that has a series of waterfalls. When the water is high enough, there are places to cliff jump or waterslide. But any time, it's a beautiful place to hike and explore.

This year marks the fifth May in a row that I have gone to Red Cliffs. I love traditions, and my family doesn't have that many, so I've started making my own. This one's my favorite. I love going to Red Cliffs every year. I love seeing the familiar sights and sounds, I love the warmth of the red rocks, I love the warmth of the friendships in which I so fortunately find myself enveloped. More for the memories and tradition, this really is my favorite place in all the world.

So, I may have gone overboard in my excitement this week. But I sure don't care. I literally have been counting down the days (and now hours!!). I am absolutely stoked.

Hopefully in a few days, I'll have new pictures to post. =)

Life as a Blogger

2009-05-28T10:25:00.004-07:00

I was looking at my blogger profile today for some arbitrary reason, and I took note of the little box in the corner that says, "On Blogger Since". I've been on Blogger since November 2003. And I was like... "Wow. That's a pretty freaking long time."

I started blogging that year because I was a stupid high school student with stupid high school drama (mostly self-inflicted), and I needed an outlet. I had this blog back then that was basically a mind-dump for my depression, my angst, and my frustrations with life in general. It's still live (no, I will not tell you where to find it) and it's almost embarrassing for me to read now. It's like an emo version of myself wrote it. Maybe that's what it was!

When I went to college, there was a year or so where I didn't blog much. Occasionally I'd post to the old blog, but that year was pretty dry.

The year after, I took a class from Dr. Jill Talbot in Creative Non-Fiction writing. Great class, by the way. We had a blog, and we were all required to post to it. I began to see new, non-depressed ways to blog. To express myself, not emotionally by neccessity, but artistically.

It was during that same semester that Ian was born. Suddenly I had a lot to write about. I started a new blog of my own, which I wrote to over the next several months. That blog helped me process the placement experience, as well as my postpartum issues. But as I healed, the less I wrote.

A semester or two after that, I took a great class from Dr. P about editing and literary production. One of our projects was to produce literature in an out-of-the-ordinary format. Like writing poetry on telephone poles or something. I worked with McKenzie, who authored a fiction piece that we structured in a series of blogs. I built a blog and we set up the story within that context. It was a great deal of fun. That project can still be viewed at http://suu.edu/honors/newhorizons/

This brings us almost to the present. I graduated from college in December 2007, and quickly found that I needed something to occupy my thoughts. Thus was born the Descent of the Muse. And I've been at least fairly regular in my blogging since that time.

As I started becoming an active advocate of adoption, I found that I needed a forum, separate from "daily life", as I think of here, to discuss my thoughts and views on adoption. So I now also maintain my adoption blog next door.

November 2003. That's five and a half years. It'll be six this fall. Six years, jabbering away at the universe-at-large. They'll never claim that I didn't have anything to say. That's for sure.

Movie update

2009-05-25T08:56:00.002-07:00

Since I wrote my summer movie list, I have seen two more movies, about which I wish to report.

First was "Angels and Demons". This was an indulgent summer flick. It was engaging, certainly, though a bit thin in some places. It was action-packed, and I was very engaged by the characters. However, halfway through the movie I leaned over to Melissa and whispered, "They're ALL bad guys!" and she whispered back, "Why do you think the Catholics don't like this movie?" Overall an enjoyable spectacle, but I would not go see it again. And that's pretty much how my ratings work.

This past weekend I went to see "Terminator Salvation" with Gregory and Justin. I watched the first two in preparation, which is a good thing, because I don't think I would've understood anything if I didn't already know these characters. I'll agree that Salvation was pretty light on the plot, which for me is often a major turn-off. However, I think that people hold the first two movies in a little too high a regard. I mean, how much plot was there really in T2? There's a good Terminator and a bad Terminator, and lots of chase scenes, and the mental hospital stuff with Sarah. Really, plot? Not that much. Having seen T2 for the first time just before going to see Salvation, I don't think my expectations were unnaturally high. It was LOUD, and there was three times as many explosions as there were lines of dialogue, but I enjoyed the character dynamics where they were found (though, did Blair have to become a damsel in distress so fast? She was cool...) and I enjoyed the eye candy. It wasn't Star Trek. But it was good.

And really, I'm pretty much set until Transformers next month. There's a couple of peripheral movies I'm interested in through the meantime (Up, Night at the Museum 2) but I've already seen the ones I was looking forward to most. Is the summer movie season getting pushed earlier or something? It's only Memorial Day!

Stage manager at heart

2009-05-22T09:27:00.002-07:00

This will tell you how big of a nerd I am. So last night, I got home pretty late after a meeting in Salt Lake. I was in the mood to pull out a book, but there wasn't really anything I was in the mood for. Get this: I ended up pulling out my Honors undergrad thesis, and I read the whole thing before I went to bed.

Yes. I am a nerd.

But it got me thinking this morning. My thesis was about the Art of Stage Management. I have to tell you, that this meeting last night (and all the meetings like it) have seriously employed the skills I gained as a stage manager. Committees of any kind need someone to organize them, or they're useless.

Here's my thing: I don't necessarily consider myself a leader. In the theatre, I wasn't ever the Director, the one with the vision. But I was the Stage Manager, who organized and enabled the visions of others to come to pass. Certainly I was deeply involved. I had my fingers in everything. But it was only to add upon the skills and vision of others, to enable them to accomplish their tasks.

I have carried these skills, inclinations and abilities with me, as I probably will for the rest of my life. Everything I do is affected by the fact that I am a stage manager. It's only the venue that has changed. Instead of Henry V, I have an adoption conference. But I remain the same.

2009-05-14T14:24:00.002-07:00

I love summer! (Summer movie list)

2009-05-13T12:13:00.004-07:00

I think I may retract that statement a little later in the season. Perhaps a more accurate assessment would be, "I love late spring and early summer", but that doesn't make for as clean a blog title. =)

Seasonally, May is one of my favorites. I also really enjoy September. But May just has so much...potential. Starting to get warm, drifting toward the languid summer nights were you sit on your porch and talk or listen to music and just enjoy life.

Thus, I believe I picked the perfect time to move out. I was sitting on my back porch last night talking to Melissa, and it literally was perfect. I had just gotten back from Taekwondo, so I felt good about myself and life in general. Wunderbar.

I particularly love the summer movie season. I've already seen three of the movies on my summer list, which (a la Gregorio) I shall enumerate below.

The Soloist. Now playing. This movie was somewhat strange, but I nevertheless enjoyed the performances of Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx. Perhaps running a little too long, I liked the resolution (and lack thereof) for the characters.

Battle for Terra now playing. I was more excited about this when I first heard about it, especially because there are several good names attached. However, my interest is diminishing the more I hear about it, so we'll see.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Now playing. As I stated in an earlier blog, I didn't much care for this movie. It was visually appealing, but the story and characters were weak. And a bit too much action for action's sake.

Star Trek Now playing. An absolutely engaging and enjoyable flick. Not much in the way of depth, but the charisma of these fresh new actors completely made up for it in my mind. Loved Bones!

Angels and Demons opening this week. I've never read the books and I'm not a fanatic, but it looks interesting.

Terminator Salvation the first Terminator to earn a PG-13 rating. Is it less R-rated or have we grown desensitized? Anyway, I got interested almost solely because of Christian Bale, but I've done a little reading, and I'm actually interested in seeing the previous incarnations of the Terminator. Something about the predestination paradox intrigues me.

Night at the Museum 2 The first one was, I'll admit, rather amusing. I have little hope for the second Ben Stiller romp, so we'll see if this ends up as a Netflix request instead.

Up because it's Pixar and it has the "Squirrel!" dog that makes me laugh every time I see the preview.

Away We Go because it has Allison Janney! No, really, the first time I heard about this movie, I was mildly interested, but the more I hear about it the more I want to see it.

The Proposal a distant possibly simply because Ryan Reynolds is cute. (Yes, I give into such nonsense every now and again.) More likely a subject for Netflix.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen which promises to be a lot darker than numbero uno. I just hope they let Shia LaBeouf act instead of being whiny the whole time [Compare Transformers to Eagle Eye. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.]

My Sister's Keeper because I saw a preview and it looks interesting (Abigail Breslin? We'll see)

[Public Enemies looks interesting, but a bit too violent for my tastes. Probably not one for me. Which is too bad, because I'll miss out on the eye candy!]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince just cuz. (Incidentally, I think HBP is at least tied for my favorite book in the series. I hope David Yates holds up!)

That somehow ended up being a lot lengthier than I imagined when I embarked upon my list-making. But that just goes to show that there are a lot of good movies coming out this summer! I'm excited. Although, I have to admit that we've already bypassed one of my biggest anticipations for the season (Star Trek). But I'm still looking forward to a good few months of cinema viewing, in addition to camping and hiking and all sorts of good summery things!

Dixy's wedding and some thoughts

2009-05-11T12:39:00.003-07:00

My friend/former roommate DixyAnn got married on Friday. I was an "unofficial attendant" so I spent the day with Dixy and our friends in celebration of her marriage to Matt Smith, who's a pretty cool guy. =)

She got married in the Logan Temple. She had a luncheon up in Logan, and then a ring ceremony and reception down in Salt Lake City. Her colors were black, red and white, and she had the reception in her single's ward bishop's backyard.

There were no major catastrophes, but I got to pondering about the value of stress. This followed a conversation/critique of Mormon weddings from a friend of mine, who was derisive about the lack of wedding planners in most Mormon weddings. So I was more alert to the fact that Dixy seemed to be under an undue amount of stress throughout the day. There were details that could (should?) have been handled by somebody else, but that fell to Dixy and Matt. The reception ended at 8:00, but at a quarter to nine they were still there, trying to organize everyone and make sure everything was taken care of, instead of leaving for their honeymoon. Small things that added up over the course of a day that should have been enjoyed, rather than still needing to be organized. Small things forgotten that should have been planned for in advance.

Like I said, no major catastrophes. And the reception did come off rather well. I just wonder, if it had been me, would I have instead trusted someone else with those details? I'm at least as controlling as Dixy, and I like to have things done my way (especially on wedding day!!) but I think it's still possible to get what you want while entrusting someone else to make sure things are run smoothly the day of. That's all I'm sayin'.

Funny story: so, Matt and Dixy forgot the garter at home, so they sent Christopher (of all people!) home for it. Under the guise of taking a long time to find it, he went to Wal-Mart and made a copy of their house key (SO Chris). We decorated Matt's car (rather lavishly--we had a little too much fun!). Dixy bought a new car recently, and literally threatened our lives if we touched her car. But after the newlyweds drove away, we decided to decorate their HOUSE instead of her car!

There had been some fake rose petals that were just going to be tossed after the reception, so we made a rose-petal path from the door to their bed (which we even made for them). Also, we took pictures of ourselves in their house with their camera, which was far too much fun. And Justin hid their shoes all over--kitchen cupboards, medicine cabinet, on the shower rod. Random, but really funny. At any rate, we had a good old time--even got the approval of Dixy's mother!

It was a good day spent with friends. I hope that Matt and Dixy have a great time on their cruise, and hopefully they don't catch the swine flu!

Wolverine: Meh

2009-05-01T01:38:00.002-07:00

Just saw the Wolverine movie. My response is, "It was cool...but..."

Very disjointed, and the storyline was NOT cohesive. I'll frankly admit that the opening sequence (war transitions) was great. That's probably the only part I would label that way. Otherwise, I felt like the story was rushed (and it was a short movie, too!) the characters were not fleshed out--even Wolverine!!--and the plot had wide and gaping holes laced through it. For as much as some characters were anticipated (aka Gambit, among others) they sure didn't get a lot of screentime. And the Sabretooth/Wolverine conflict totally does not mesh well with where we pick up in X-Men(1).

The action sequences were (for the most part) engaging, though the post-credits scene was a bit much for me, simply because as far as I was concerned, it served no purpose. The whole Kayla thing...lame. The fact that Logan believed it?...lame. And what was with her wounded and then suddenly appeared by this recently-collapsed structure, out of nowhere? ... Like I said, major holes everywhere.

However, I still enjoyed it. Not one I'll go see in the theaters again, but maybe one I'll buy (unlike Last Stand, which I pretend does not exist). Maybe just so I can watch the opening a few more times...cuz it was seriously the best part of the whole movie.

It's true

2009-04-28T20:28:00.002-07:00

I'm moving out.

Or, at least, I have the intention to move out. The reality is still at this moment a mythical dream in which I find a wonderful place to live for a wonderful price with wonderful roommates in a wonderful ward and it all happens with a wonderful alacrity that is wonderful.

You can see how it's a mythical dream.

But, the reality is that I'm apartment shopping, pretty much anywhere within a 20-minute commute of my job in AF. So this extends into BYU-land (though that's becoming more distasteful to me the more student housing atrocities I witness) all the way up into Sandy. So if you know of a good place....

I've decided that I'm picky. I've lived in some fairly nice places with some AMAZING roommates, entirely besides living at home. So it's a little more than I can handle to cram myself back into a closet of a bedroom along with four or five other girls. Nothin' doin'. I like living space. I don't need a HUGE place, but I need to be able to breathe. And that definitely includes toning down on the amount of estrogen present in the household.

I saw some places today and yesterday, nothing terribly impressive. One place was tiny, one place was crowded, one place was utterly ghetto. I'm not really in a hurry (except that I am) so I can afford a little pickiness, at least for the moment. I just want to be comfortable.

PS: If you're curious about the house, well, it just didn't work out. A house was *probably* a little too much for me right now anyway, but it just didn't work out. And my patience has come to an end, so I'm fleeing back into the rental scene. Oh joyous wondrousness. >.<

Random thoughts on nothing in particular

2009-04-21T14:28:00.003-07:00

Last night, my dear mom and I colored my hair (aka she did all the work and I reaped the benefits). Except, I can't really see a difference. In the sun it shines a little brighter, I suppose, but nobody noticed and I'm kind of bummed. Except I don't want to spend another seven bucks and another night of my life to do-over, so I'm just staying with Chocolate Cherry for now.

I'm presently engaged in a Star Trek marathon--the movies, not the TV series. So far we've watched The Motion Picture and The Wrath of Khan. Definitely preferred the latter over the former. Tonight we will probably be watching Search for Spock. I just have to note that this is the first time I've ever seen these. The only Star Trek movies I've ever seen have been First Contact and Insurrection. Love them both. And so far I'm enjoying these earlier films, if on an entirely different level.

Speaking of which...I'm totally enjoying my Netflix subscription again. I have an on-again, off-again relationship with Netflix, usually about six months at a time for each. I think that in six months, I watch all the movies that I'm interested in, and then I have to build up a new stock of things to be interested in before I start again. Currently I'm alternating the Star Trek marathon with episodes of Heroes. =)

My guitar is good. It has this weird buzz that's been getting worse since I bought it; I need to talk to somebody who knows one end of a guitar from the other who is NOT the people who sold it to me. However, despite this annoyance, I'm really enjoying it so far. Still haven't started lessons, though that's coming soon, but via the internet I've learned a few chords which I have been trying to apply to the easiest songs I can find in the children's songbook. I'm trying to start building calluses, but no noticable difference thus far.

I really really really want to go camping. Like...now. I have such a craving to escape and go to the (relative) wilderness for awhile. Unfortunately, this will be have to be put off for a couple of weeks. Fortunately, it only has to be put off for a couple of weeks, and then I can go!!

That's all. Like I said...nothing in particular.

I want to be in there with you!

2009-04-20T10:32:00.001-07:00

Guitar triumph!

2009-04-14T19:14:00.002-07:00

Behold!

It's an Ibanez Sage series (SGT520VS). Solid spruce top, mahogany back, sides and neck, rosewood bride and fretboard. I tried bunches of different ones the past couple of days, and I found that I was particular to the Ibanez. I tried a couple different Ibanez, several Yamahas, Fenders, Samicks, Washburns, even a Martin today. It was amazing how much difference even I could hear, who have never played guitar before. I'm sure that ear will only get stronger with training. But for the money, I found that I liked the Ibanez. They got good reviews on different websites, I was able to get it for a good price, and it's pretty.

I'm very excited. Now I just have to learn to play it! =)

Playing catch-up

2009-04-14T11:11:00.004-07:00

I was talking to a friend today about how busy I am making my life. He said, "That's okay, but just remember balance. That's a problem that you struggle with sometimes."

I wanted to take this opportunity to catch you up on some of the activites I've got going on, as well as those that I'm on the verge of.

Tonight I'm going to Taekwondo, which I'm pretty excited about. I didn't get to go last Thursday like I had planned, which is fine, but I'm glad to go back tonight. I am craving TKD and physical activity (which will play again in a moment) and I've missed the TKD community a great deal. So yay!

Also, I'm hoping that tonight will be the night: I'm going to buy a guitar. This makes me exceptionally nervous along with exceptionally excited. I can't wait to start learning.

Tomorrow I"m going to be playing softball on a city league team I just joined. I haven't played in ages so hopefully I don't look like an utter fool. But I'm excited to get out and play.

On Thursday I'll be up in SLC again for a planning committee meeting for the birthparent section of this summer's Families Supporting Adoption conference.

Friday I may be going to either the zoo or an aquarium, pending my friend Chris stepping up to organize the outing. I'm not going to lie. I really love every single one of my friends, but I get really tired of organizing most of our activities. So this time, Chris is in charge. =)

In the midst of all these things, I have lots of other things to do as well. Volunteer work, my new obsession with adoption blogging, writing a novel (in my new Moleskine notebook), stressing about the upcoming Semifinal announcement for ABNA, preparing to teach Sunday school, and hopefully making some kind of handout for visiting teaching (I've been kind of lax in that aspect of my calling), searching for a LBD to wear to Dixy's wedding, and hopefully maintaining x-number of friendships in the meantime.

Oh, and working 40 hours a week.

So yeah, life is busy. I wouldn't have it any other way. Hopefully I don't explode. And hopefully you know that I still love you!

Adoption blog

2009-04-13T20:42:00.003-07:00

I'm getting more involved in the adoption cause, and I feel like I need a forum with which to specifically address adoption issues. For that cause, I have created a new blog:

mamavalerius.blogspot.com

There's nothing much there yet, but it will grow. For all few of you who read this blog, fear not: the muse will continue to descend. I'm just a little OCD and needed separate places for separate things.

Also, if you have some interest in adoption, please don't hesitate to link to either of my blogs!

Loves.

Life ambitions

2009-04-07T22:38:00.002-07:00

I have a life list. Yes. I do. A list of things that I want to accomplish somewhere in my lifetime. (I think I may have discussed this list before). Anyhow, I've been feeling the itch, the last couple of weeks, to tackle something new, and particularly something from this list. I think the trip to Seattle made me see that I CAN accomplish things, that I can make them work in my life and schedule now.

This craving for new challenges has taken shape in two ways. After days of searching for continuing education and community classes (and not finding a whole lot that stirred my interests) I have decided that I am going to take up the guitar. This is one of several musical instruments that I enjoy and would like to learn to play. It is the most accessible, particularly at this point in my life. And so, I'm going to. This comes with all sorts of hurdles I must get over first, but it is now on the day-to-day to-do list, which means it's gonna happens.

Secondly, I'm going back to Taekwondo. This has been a long time in coming. But I'm going to get my sorry lazy butt up and back into the studio. I went tonight for the first time in...well, a really freaking long time. And actually, I had a blast, I feel great, and the endorphins are amazing. So while I know it's going to be hard to motivate myself (as evidenced by the last six months and more) I've made the decision to go back. Just need to follow through.

That's all. What's up in your life?

Paperback splurge!

2009-04-03T21:24:00.002-07:00

I love the bookstore. I think we've discussed this. At any rate, it was Friday night, I had nothing to do and nobody to do it with, so I wound up at B&N for a little time in the SF&F section looking for something new.

After visiting the EMP/Science Fiction Museum in Seattle, I have realized that I need to read a LOT more science fiction. I think this prompted this evening's purchases.

First, I picked up "I, Robot" by Isaac Asimov. I have a confession. Despite my profound love of science fiction, I've never read anything by Asimov. I know, I know, this is profane sacrilege of the worst sort. Soon to be mended! Unfortunately, the only copy B&N had available was a movie-cover--it has a lovely picture of Will Smith on the front. Gag. Not that I mind Will Smith, but I generally don't like books that are superimposed with film version covers. Lame. But I'm sucking it up--I'm a creature of immediacy, and I wanted this book NOW. So I'm stuck with Will.

The second book I picked up was "Sunshine" by Robin McKinley. Favorite author, but not a book I've read before. But I read the first two pages and was hooked, so I went ahead with the purchase. McKinley's books that I have read are among my top favorites, so I figured I was relatively safe here. We'll see how it goes.

And thirdly I picked up "The Speed of Dark" by Elizabeth Moon. I've only recently begun to read Ms. Moon (on the recommendation of my former Captain) but have been pleasantly enjoying her books thus far. This book in particular intrigues me--it is a science fiction novel surrounding autism. I am very eager to read it.

On the whole, I am rather pleased with how it turned out. I do love books, and I'm excited to get into some new works and authors. I would encourage you to do the same!

Old Navy amuses me

2009-04-03T10:14:00.009-07:00

I think I would feel cooler if I had discovered this for myself, but no, I simply stole it from Jen's blog. However, I totally thought it was worth passing along.

Old Navy has hidden coupons on their website today, and since I like Old Navy things but don't like their prices under normal circumstances, I thought I would pass along Jen's step-by-step low-down on the 50% off coupon, which I have already snagged for myself also.

Step one:
Go to Old Navy Weekly. You will come to a screen that looks like this:

Click on "Start Hunting"

Step Two:
At the bottom of the page you'll see the "vote for the best legs" option...and I have to agree with Jen here that it's a little scary, seeing as they're mannequins and they have plastic-formed legs. Although, I'm not going to lie that their commercials make me laugh. Anyhow, you have to vote, and in perfect keeping with our society today, you must give EACH mannequin the full five stars. It will look like this:

Step Three:
Wait. After 10-20 seconds, a tiny kite will start moving through the page. It will start in the lower-left part of the horizon and move upwards and to the right. Can you see it below?

You must click on the kite. And watch it, because it moves pretty quickly to hide behind the mannequins!

Step FOUR:
Once you successfully click on the kite, you'll immediately see this screen:

Click on "Add to your in-store coupon." At this point, you'll see THIS screen:

Step SIX:
Click on "Make Coupon" and this will pop up on the screen:

You can either print the coupon directly from here, or have it emailed to yourself. I emailed it to myself so that I'll remember that I have it when I get home from work and actually have the opportunity to use it! On what, I don't know yet, but hopefully something cute!

Enjoy!

PS: Thank you Jen for not penalizing me for outright blog-thievery. O_o

General Conference weekend

2009-04-01T09:51:00.003-07:00

As I grow older, I am coming more and more to love General Conference. This weekend, I will be attending four 2-hour sessions where I (along with several other million members of the LDS Church) will listen to the words of our prophets, apostles, and other general authorities.

Since high school, I have generally watched most or all of General Conference with friends and/or roommates. This year will be no different, although it's going to be a new group--friends from my singles' ward.

I also particularly enjoy the activites that surround general conference. For instance, on Saturday night after the Priesthood session (during which Cheri and I will be at Wal-Mart!) we are having a movie night. Our movie selection still remains to be seen, but we will be watching from the comfort of the club house at the Milano apartments...which is VERY nice. =)

And on Sunday, we are having a brunch between sessions, and I am SO excited to make french toast. I'll admit that I have been craving french toast for...well, awhile now. So that's my contribution to our potluck brunch, and I'm pretty content with life.

Of course, I am mostly just excited to hear the words of the Prophets. And I'm excited to get to read them in a month's time in the new conference Ensign. I just absolutely love general conference.

SEATTLE

2009-03-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

Seriously, folks

2009-03-24T10:49:00.003-07:00

I expect more of you! As a reader of this blog, I have my hopes and faith in you, that the readership (however small) will follow through. C'mon folks!

Thus, in light of the minimal reaction to my former efforts, I have included this brief and concise list of directions concerning the action I wish you to take. ;)

Please visit the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award webpage.

Click on "Science Fiction".

Scroll through the ranks of novels that are actually getting reviews until you find my poor, lonely entry. (Title: Traitor Defiant)

Download the excerpt.

Read the excerpt.

Then, scroll down to the Customer Reviews section, and write a review. This is not intense, people. A paragraph or two is all that is required here. You don't even have to be nice if you are not so inclined! If you don't like it, you don't like it. I will still appreciate your review.

Thanks again! Much love to you all.

I went skiing on Saturday...

2009-03-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

...and it was pretty awesome.

The Wheels in the Brain go round and round...

2009-03-19T08:32:00.003-07:00

Of late, it seems like there are several things that I am anxious about. None of these are life-threatening. It's just things that hover in the back of my mind, gnawing at me, occasionally making my stomach clench, and occupying a sort of ridiculous amount of my brain capacity as I ponder them continually.

1) My book. Or rather, the ABNA. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, you know? But I just keep thinking about it. I'd really like to progress to the next round.

2) THE HOUSE. You haven't heard about this for a little while, but last night, our realtor came over and I filled out the bid paperwork. My bid will be over to the seller today. AH! Nothing's going to happen quickly with this house, but I'm dealing with it, because this house feels right.

3) My new calling. I'm the visiting teaching coordinator in my singles ward. Learning the ropes and doing it RIGHT are occupying a ridiculous portion of my thoughts.

4) The volunteer work I'm doing. While this doesn't necessarily consume large portions of my time, it does end up consuming a lot of my thoughts. Poor Melinda, I feel like I drive her crazy.

5) Current writings. I'm trying to start a new series, and so far it's slow going. I whipped out the first chapter like it was nothing, but since then have struggled for each paragraph. I'm thinking about a different approach, but mainly the concern has been lack of time. MUST. WRITE. The craving is overpowering.

6) Most minor of all: I want to play softball in the city leagues this summer. Can do, but you have to provide your own team, and all of the easy leagues are already full. Which means I need to find a group, and a group who can play. The craving! So I'm nosing about my ward (via Facebook, currently) to see who wants to come out and play. If we can get enough so its feasible, I'm all over it. :)

Isn't it ridiculous how things pile up? Especially the things we can do nothing about except think about them--over and over. Hopefully I can get my brain in gear and focus today. Wish me luck!