Breaking Dawn Review--spoilers abound

Firstly: I need to read this book again to really be sure of my opinion, so bear that in mind during the following points:

1. Biggest. Cop-out. Ever.

2. Life is not a happy ending, and writers who try to pretend like everything can really work out...are stupid.

3. Jacob-Nessie=a little disturbing, no matter how you try to think about it.

4. Nessie? I mean, c'mon.

5. It wasn't even written that well! The whole first chapter or two was crap; she should have started the book earlier, told all that stuff in present tense instead of all the memories and dreams and crap. As the wise Dr.P once said, dream/memory sequences are crap. Move the action FORWARD, not back. And that's just the beginning! She totally skimmed through the wedding, which was weak sauce, and then the WHOLE FREAKING MIDDLE OF THE BOOK wasn't even from Bella's point of view! WTF??!! And it was just waaaay too long. I can't even tell you what took 750 pages to tell, because I don't feel like that much happened. I mean, in six months, Bella got married, had a kid, turned into a vampire, and saved the free vampire world without lifting a finger. Woohoo. We-e-eak sauce.

This gets me into another point. I have no idea what point Stephenie Meyer was trying to make with all this. I mean, she's got girls as young as 9 reading these books, and apparently she would like to tell her millions of readers that it's okay to get married at 18, and that having a baby makes everything better, especially for your best friend that you totally screwed over, which was just way too convenient for me. Oh gee, Jake can't find somebody to imprint on, so I'll just create him somebody new and interesting--never mind that it's the freaking offspring of the girl he loves. But back to the point--apparently Stephenie Meyer doesn't mind telling young girls that as long as they have somebody to look out for them, everything will be okay. Never mind college, don't worry about money or REALITY, everything will be okay with your hubbie and kid and little stone cottage in the woods. Everything will be hunky dory with your whole 'family' around you to watch out for you forever.

Bella didn't grow. I expected her to have to mature, FINALLY, in this last book. I expected her to have to make some big sacrifice so she would grow up and really--no matter his prejudices--be worthy of Edward. But no. Bella never had to sacrifice anything. She got her husband, she got her best friend, she got to keep her dad, AND she got an impossible kid to boot. Never mind that she's 18, and didn't even WANT kids. Oh! AND Jacob gets to be happy and stick around too. Never mind that it's SICK in so many ways. I don't care how you look at it. There's no redeeming value there, except as an interesting--albeit SICK--plot twist I NEVER saw coming.

Overall, Breaking Dawn summary once again: Biggest cop-out ever. As far as I'm concerned, the series ends with Eclipse, and I can fantasize my own--better written--conclusion to what was an epic saga.