12.31.2008

Yet another obsession



I just finished the first season, and w-o-w am I impressed. Absolutely loved it. I am considering an upcoming purchase, because I have to give the season back and I just want to watch it again. However, I read a few episode descriptions for the second/third seasons, and I'm a little wary of pressing onward. You know how TV shows get weird in their old age (look at Smallville, for heaven's sake!) and the episodes later on sound a little...weird. I know I won't know until I see them, but the first season was just so perfect, I don't really want to taint it! I know, I'm weird. I'll prolly end up watching every episode there ever was, but for this moment in time, I'm just savoring the glorious experience that was Season 1.

12.20.2008

Plight of the Caroler

A short blog about Apartment Christmas:

Basically, my college friends and I have our annual "Apartment Christmas", which started when we all lived together and has continued now even though we don't any more. We don't really have "traditions", so much that the thing is a tradition in and of itself. Sometimes we do Secret Santa (especially our more broke years), sometimes we do White Elephant. This year we did a $5 gift card white elephant. The idea was to get a $5 gift card from somewhere totally random. We ended up with some craft stores, movie theatre--I ended up with a card to Chevron. It was amusing.

During the course of the evening, we went Christmas caroling around my friends' apartment complex. And I do have to say, we sounded pretty good. There are some decent voices amongst this particular group. However, in the entire complex, no one came out to hear us sing. In point of fact, there were several instances when we heard people locking their doors when we came by. !!! What does that say about our world? Keep out the crazy carolers! I mean, of course we sang for our own enjoyment, but it was so sad that no one came out even to smile and wish us a Merry Christmas! It was madly depressing. So we went back to Ellen and Justin's to open presents, to make ourselves feel better and regain the Christmas spirit.

Oh, I also have a few things to say about Amazon wish lists, but this particular discussion will be truncated for sake of time. You see, I find Amazon wish lists to be immensely convenient. No guessing! No worries about disappointing the receiver! They can show you exactly what they want for Christmas. However. You almost always lose the personal touch. And what's more, there are no surprises! I mean honestly, it's such a difficult situation. On the one hand, you want to give them something that you know they want. But on the other, you want to give them something heartfelt, maybe with inside jokes, or something handmade and soul-invested. I don't know, it's a catch-22. Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I worry a little about disappointing the recipients of my gifts. Hopefully all the gifts will blur together to make for general-overall contentment.

At any rate, yay for Christmas! And yay for driving home in the snow?

12.16.2008

Christmas delights


I don't have to wait for Easter!!!

12.14.2008

Only one more Sunday before Christmas!

Sundays are seriously becoming my favorite day of the week, which I could never have predicted at any point of my life up until now.

Church today was exciting. Firstly, we're singing/playing Christmas hymns in church, which I love. I just love Christmas, but singing Christmas hymns is definitely one of my favorite parts. I'm going caroling next week at Apartment Christmas, and I'm super excited.

I taught Gospel Doctrine today in Sunday School. It's so nervewracking. I've been nervous all week, but I'll tell you, I started trembling twenty minutes before Sacrament Meeting was over, and didn't stop trembling until halfway through Relief Society. All things considered, I think an angel taught my lesson, because it well so well and I certainly couldn't have done so well. Somehow I made a baby's first steps into a metaphor of the pride cycle on the spot. It worked out pretty well. :)

Actually, I just got back from a second Sacrament Meeting. There's a retirement home in my neighborhood that has a branch in our stake, and the wards rotate preparing their meetings, with the priesthood in charge of blessing and passing the sacrament, and the R.S. in charge of the music. So today I volunteered to play the piano for the meeting. It was cool. I haven't played the piano in a church meeting for a year now, since my last ward in Cedar City, and I realized that I miss it. I love playing the piano, its one of the talents that I am most thankful for because it brings so much joy into my life.

Oh, and a very good number of people signed up for the roadshow! I'm excited to start working on it. My current motto is Simplicity. I think keeping thing simple will save my sanity.

Life is good! Love and Christmasness to you all!

12.11.2008

One of my few professed culinary skills



I make a mean raspberry pie.

My company Christmas party is tomorrow. Entirely besides the dinner there's a dessert contest, and my coworker Cindy basically threatened me with my life if I didn't enter, so here is my beautiful (if unoriginal) masterpiece for the competition and consumption. Isn't it pretty?

12.09.2008

Being Mormon...for real!

After my graduation, life toned down a lot. I will tell you that working a full time job is a lot easier in many ways than going to school. No homework, for one thing. And the schedule's a lot more consistent. There are other reasons. But beyond that, I don't stage manage, and I don't belong to any clubs, and my work isn't competing with those other things any more.

The exception to this rule is becoming my church involvement.

Throughout my life, I've been a relatively active member of my church. I go to church every Sunday, and I've always gone to the occasional ward activity that sparked my interest. But that was usually it. I was never a very good visiting teacher, and I can count on my fingers the number of times I've been visit-taught in my life. I thought I was doing fine.

But in my new ward (new being since August...) I'm finally finding out what being "active" can really mean. I was talking to my best friend about it the other night, and there is a marked difference. "Church" is no longer a Sunday thing...it's kind of like belonging to a really big, personal, all-inclusive and pro-active club that has an infinite number of faces and aspects.

For instance, there is Family Home Evening.

In singles' wards I've been in before, FHE has been broken down into smaller units of 10 people or so, with a "Mom and Dad" called to plan and execute the activities each week. This system certainly has its merits, and its possible that my ward will soon or eventually adopt the system. However, for the past few months, our FHE has not been broken down. Each week, every member of the ward is invited to come to the church--its always the same time and place, which is REALLY nice--to participate in a wide range of varying activites. There have been sports, games, serious religious talks and discussions, outings like bowling and visiting Temple Square, and any number of things. I've found this ward to be a lot more creative than others I've attended. With the whole ward invited to attend, I've met a lot more people than I would have by just attending church. Also...it's fun. :)

Also, as mentioned there are Visiting Teaching and Home Teaching. Now, I'm only on the receiving end of the latter, as I am of the female type (in case you hadn't heard). However, I'm gaining a newfound appreciation for visiting teaching. Basically, I have a partner (who is phenomenal, by the way, and I'm enjoying our growing friendship enormously) and we are assigned a handful of girls in our ward (3 at the moment). Once a month, we go visit these young ladies, to see how they're doing, if there's anything they need that we can do or arrange for them, and to offer them a brief spiritual message. I still have yet to be visited by my own such teachers, however I am finding that I enjoy going out and doing the visiting. It has helped me connect with other girls in the ward, and it helps me expand my own spirituality. That sounds vague, I know. But basically...I'm learning to love near-strangers simply by virtue of visiting them and sharing with them this gospel that I love so much. It's a pretty powerful high, actually.

There is also Ward Prayer. Now, I haven't been a frequent attender of this activity in my current ward, but I think I'll be changing that. Sunday night, the ward members are invited back to the church for a very brief gathering. There is a spotlight of one of the newer members (and my ward ALWAYS has new members), a hymn, a spiritual thought, and then everyone kneels down and prays together. And then there are treats and socializing afterward.

Ooh, and on Sundays themselves, there is Ward Choir. My attendance is often irregular, but man, there just isn't anything quite like singing in a choir, especially singing really beautiful arrangements of religious songs that you've known your whole life. I freaking love choir.

Then there are Ward Activities. These are similar to FHE, but on a grander scale. Recent editions have included a Halloween dance, a Thanksgiving dinner, going to the bowling alley (though that one didn't turn out so well), and this weekend we're going ice skating at the 7 Peaks arena.

Also there are temple trips. My ward is starting to get better about making baptisms a part of the ward trips, and though I haven't been with them, I still try to go on my own regularly. Makes a crazy difference in my life, I can't even tell you.

And of course you can't forget the Calling. Some people fear it, some people resent it, some people avoid it like the plague. Others tolerate and endure. Some find fulfillment, others actual joy in their calling. Some just go about it like its nothing out of the ordinary. Most of my callings have been music-oriented, whether playing the piano for some meeting or other, music coordinator, chorister, etc. Now, I am...{drumroll please!} a Gospel Doctrine teacher. Yes, you may wince in sympathy here, laugh, or whatever best pleases you. I've only taught once so far (#2 coming up this Sunday). It's definitely a challenge, but I think it helps me expand my own thinking and studying skills. So, I guess I'm in the endure/fulfillment category. Hopefully enjoyment will come.

And now, the real summation of my blog--this weekend I was asked to head up my ward's portion of the Stake Roadshow. I've been to one roadshow in my life, many years ago, and I don't have strong memories of it, besides it being cheesy and almost painful, thespian that I am. However. I heard that there was going to be a roadshow a few weeks (months?) ago, and I'll admit that it perked my interest. However, with things like this, me knowing myself as I do, I know that I have to be in charge, or not involved at all. Events of which I have an inkling of what I'm doing drive me crazy to watch someone else fumbling through with no idead of what they're doing. So yes, while I will enlist the help and support of as many people as possible, I'm glad that I've been actually put in charge. Committees have the tendancy to drive me up the wall. As a friend of mine said, "None of us is as dumb as all of us."

So at any rate, I'm in charge of the roadshow. It has to be 15 minutes long, the setting is in front of a garage (although it may be inside a garage or beside a garage, the packet isn't entirely clear), and our ward's theme is Service. Oh, and it's in just over a month. The other wards have been prepping for a couple of months now. Yeah...funsies!

Actually, I'm pretty excited about it. It's been too long since I've done anything dramatic, so being given free license to take charge of the project makes me immensely satisfied with life. I'm sure that once I've dived headfirst into the madness I'll be a little...um...shall we say irrascible? But there can be no denying the enthusiasm that even this mockery of theatre brings to my soul.

In all, I think my church is the bomb. (Bet you haven't heard THAT phrase for awhile! Hee hee). Oh, and I think you all should go, cuz it's rockin'. :)

12.07.2008

Lights at Temple Square



If it's at all feasible for you to go see the Christmas lights at Temple Square, take an evening and go. They're beautiful, and it's a wonderful way to celebrate the season.

Merry Christmas!

12.02.2008

A wave of gratitude

Now, as you should know as a reader of this blog if you do not already, I have a two-and-a-half-almost-three-year-old son, whom I placed for adoption a few days after he was born. Unlike my own adoption, Ian's has been almost completely open. To this day, I exchange emails and photos with his family on a fairly regular basis, and communication has been very open. This summer while they were in Utah for a family wedding, we were also able to meet for lunch, and I saw my son for the first time in two years, which was AMAZING, no lie there. And this evening I at last received the photos from the occasion.

I just can't even express my gratitude. If ever I were to be a proponent for something, for just one thing in the entire world (besides the gospel of Jesus Christ) it would be adoption, and open ones at that. The blessings that have entered my life because of that one choice are too numerous to name. To any dear friends or complete strangers who might have this as a consideration for their own, may I recommend it to you with all my heart. Adoption blesses lives, for children, birthparents and adoptive parents alike.

I have moved on with my life since that time, there is no doubt. And this is one of the true blessings for me--that I have been able to move on and live my life. My son is living an amazing, astounding life, even at this young age, and it is a life that I in no way could have given him. And I have been able to live my life, to continue to grow and progress, hopefully to a point where I may someday find a companion who will love me forever and be a loving, stable parent to our children. That is the blessing for both our houses--entirely besides the blessing of the adoptive parents receiving a child. Everyone wins, and everyone can be happy. These are the wonders of adoption.

I love my son. I have not forgotten him, just as I have not forgotten my own birthparents, who loved me enough to give me to a better life. I am so incredibly happy that my son is a growing, happy, healthy little boy, and that he has such wonderful people to love him. Because that's what adoption is really about--it's just expanding the circle of love, and growing a bigger family for that small, special life. And as they say, all you need is love. :)

11.29.2008

75k!!!!

After hitting 50k on my NaNoWriMo novel over a week ago, I adjusted my personal goal to hit 75,000 words before the end of November. Well, I have 24 hours and 47 minutes left to go, and I just hit 75k. Think I can hit 80k by tomorrow night? We'll have to see!

And actually, the most impressive thing to me is the fact that I'm nowhere CLOSE to finishing my novel. I doubt I'm even halfway through the plotline yet, though we'll have to see on that one. This means that this will undoubtedly be the longest novel I've ever written, seeing as how my present record is about 90,000 words in total, and I'm almost there with so much left to go. I'm actually quite excited, I feel it's a sign of growth.

Hopefully I can take some more time starting next week to work on revisions on my science fiction novel, which I hope to start sending to editors and agents starting in the new year. I think once the pressure of NaNo is off, I will feel a little less guilty about spending quality time with my other project(s), though I'd really like to finish this novel by the end of the year. If I can write 75,000 words in a month, is it impossible to hope I can finish the book in another month? I think not!

So in summary, I love writing, I love books, and I love Harrison Ford. (I know that was random, but I'm currently wrapping up the fourth Harrison Ford movie I've watched today. My marathon helped me write 5,000 words today! So huzzah for Harrison Ford! :D And to all a good night.

Welcome once again

This is pretty much as close as I'll get to having a Christmas blog. You know, I don't really feel that red and green go together, but in light of the holidays, I will put up with the clashing for a few weeks in order to feel festive.

Also, yes those are snow BEARS, my best friend and I made them last year, in the high school field across from our house in Cedar-town, and it was about an hour before some high school punks came along and destroyed them. I suppose we should have known better. But they wouldn't have fared better in our front yard, and our back yard was far too confining for the spirit of freedom and infinite possibility aspired to by our snow bears.

I suppose that now (or perhaps in two days when it's actually December) it is actually considered appropriate by the majority of people to play Christmas music. I'm fairly certain that none will be found at my workplace, considering how my coworker Cindy feels about anything besides rock and metal. So perhaps I will have to suffice at home. Which means I need more Christmas music!

I do have to admit that I enjoy the Christmas season. I enjoy the new activities, I enjoy the briskness in the air, and I love snow. I love giving presents (if not so much the trying to figure out what to give people). I also really love Christmas decor--I love Christmas trees especially! I can't wait to put ours up, and I'm pretty stoked to put up a little one on my desk at work.

So, in all, have a wonderful Christmas season, and have some pie. Pie makes the world a better place.

11.26.2008

A Time of Thanks

I have been inspired by Jen to compose a List of Gratitude, and though her list this year is much more profound, I also enjoyed last year's list, which was much more all-encompassing, and is in fact the inspiration for my own list this year.

The following few items are things that Jen would call "Goes Without Saying":

My Parents. Pretty much, what would I do without them? Well, I would be homeless and starve to death, but beyond that, my family provide an emotional shelter as well as the physical, and I rely on them probably more than is good for me. But I love them, and I am especially happy this year to be spending Thanksgiving with them.

My Brother. Going along with the family theme and yet entirely separate, I am thankful for my brother Kyle, who is currently serving an LDS mission in Virginia (D.C. South Mission). I am grateful for his example, and for his willingness to serve God and bring others to Him.

My birthfather and family. I just can't even express how grateful I am for my Pops, Jenny, and my sisters. They complement my life, they make me laugh, and they just expand the circle of love. Seriously. Adoption is the best thing ever. And speaking of...

The Jacksons. Yep. Adoption rocks.

My cousin Hollie and her kids. These are my closest family besides the immediates, and I love them immensely. <3 to Benjabuddy and Elainabug!

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am exceptionally grateful for my knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and His Atonement. You know, I have this one friend, non-member, who also somehow makes me have to stand up for my beliefs. And I'm grateful for that--I'm grateful that my testimony is so tested, that I can reaffirm, for myself, that I truly do believe in this church, in the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and in my eternal Heavenly Father. I am grateful that I have a base from which the root of my being can be established, a rock upon which I have built my foundation, but also that I have this amazing support structure to hold me up when the winds blow.

My Friends. I seriously no kidding have the sweetest friends ever. No joke. I couldn't even list them all if I tried. And they're amazing. So supportive, so loving, always willing to chat and get together or say hi. I simply couldn't live without them.

Books. Writing them and reading them. It's sort of my ultimate hobby/new career move


To complement these most essential things, here are some of the more superfluous things for which I am grateful:

-My new car, Roxanne, who is EXACTLY what I wanted in a car.
-The ability to make a killer raspberry pie.
-My singles ward.
-Being a Gospel Doctrine teacher
-The Ensign
-Movies.
-The West Wing and House, M.D.
-Being able to play the piano.
-Music: at this particular time most particularly U2, Coldplay, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Nightwish, Epica, Within Temptation, Evanescence, and many, many others.
-My job. Much as I am bored by the day-in day-out routine, I am grateful for my income and for the general entertainment provided by my coworkers.
-PGSA. I keep my hopes up by remembering that if I so choose, I can quit my job in June and flee back to Pennsylvania for the summer.
-College.
-The Democratic Party and Barack Obama.
-My Blackberry.
-Frederick Warrick III (ie my iPod.)
-and Leopold, my beloved MacBook.
-Going to the temple every Wednesday.
-ADVERSITY.
-Flip flops.
-Costco.
-My electric griddle.
-The China Bowl and Cafe Rio.
-Blogging!
-Facebook.
-NaNoWriMo.
-My ten-minute commute to work every day. I get to see the Mt. Timpanogos Temple every day as I drive, and I get some precious time to contemplate whatever needs contemplation that day.
-GoogleChat, which is how I talk to my friends when I'm at work, and thereby keep from going insane.
-Chicken salad. You know, the stuff with chicken, grapes, cashews, and occasionally celery or green peppers or whatever.
-Wikipedia.
-Road trips.
-Skiing with my dad.
-My whiteboard. It's seriously the coolest creative space of all time.
-Dr. Pepper.
-Rock Band.
-Roommates. I wish I had some.
-Playing games.
-Long, hot showers. I seriously do some of my most creative brainstorming in the shower, and I'm not even kidding.
-GAS PRICES DROPPING!!!!
-Paid days off.
-Going to New York next summer!
-That my parents got to go to Hawaii to celebrate their anniversary. They deserved it.
-Baby Martin.
-Going on dates.
-Good theatre.
-Randomly deciding to go to Ogden for the weekend...and being able to go five minutes later.
-Sweaters. And sweatshirts.
-Holidays spent with family!
-Late night drives through town.
-The capacity to help other people.
-Netflix.
-Public libraries.
-Fresh notebooks.
-The National Parks. Being able to visit them.
-Bookstores.
-Trident gum.
-Sushi.
-Chapstick and hand lotion.
-Education in general, and teachers. I've had an awful lot of good teachers in my life.
-The gift of patience.
-The ability to learn from past mistakes and experiences, and to grow.
-The infinite power of hope.


I think I will stop there (because my list is getting ridiculously long) though I'm fairly certain I could go on forever. I honestly feel that I have an infinite number of things to be thankful for.

Mostly, I am grateful to live in a place where I can worship God and Jesus Christ in freedom, and be able to enjoy those freedoms with my beloved family and friends. I simply can't deny that life is good, and thus I intend to enjoy it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Infinite possibility

Today I got involved in a rather lengthy debate with my friend Michael. First it was about changing tables, but we won't even go there. (Except to say that men obviously just don't understand the value of changing tables.) We then began discussing what Michael calls 'ubiquitous computing' which implies, in his words, "that computers are universal and inside everything. Stoplights, cellphones, everything. Soon they'll be in our sunglasses." The discussion led to journalism and then to books, and my shared fear that books and print media in general will eventually become obsolete.

We continued to discuss the future of the printed book, and how dynamic books of digital paper may be the eventual replacement. A person would own a handful of digital books which would hold the same physical feel as books now, with their then digital, varied contents. Digital paper is already in the making, and Michael believes it is a near-future possibility.

According to our theory, books would then become something of a collector's item. Rich people might have bookshelves and libraries, or others would possess them out of the mild obsession of a collector. Handmade books might make a return at this point as an art form and novelty. Something like how people now collect records, but the mainstream society uses CDs and MP3. Although, books would still maintain functionality and a certain practical value, as opposed to owning them for the sake of possession, as in the case of records. They would simply not be part of the mainstream society.

Our conversation concluded as follows, and this is what I most wanted to share:

Michael: So only rich people and enthusiasts would buy them, but they would still be bought and loved.
How many things can that be said of when we talk about the ridiculously distant future?
I think that says a lot about how deeply books are ingrained in the heart of society.


Valerie: According to the views of you and me, at any rate.


Michael: But didn't you know Valerie? We're the ones who get to decide the future.


And this, my friends, is the pure and simple truth. We are the ones who get to decide the future. It is our actions here and now that decide what is important for the next generation, and affect the ones after that. This is our time, and I intend the make the most of it.

That's all. Have a great Thanksgiving! Eat some turkey, give some thanks, and think a few profound thoughts when you have a spare moment.

11.24.2008

Human foosball

Imagine this: twenty single adults with very little mass athleticism or associated skills, attached to each other by fifteen-foot lengths of pvc pipe, trying with all their might to kick, punch, whack or headbutt a soccer ball between two pairs of trash cans on either end of a church gym.

Oh yes. That was my ward family home evening.

It was preluded by some Christmas hymns (can you believe it's that time already???), and a lovely spiritual thought that I can't even begin to remember. And then there was a sporting and HIGHLY amusing game, which came down to the wire. I swear, we were at 9-9 for half an hour, the competition was so fierce. That, and we kept kicking the ball really HIGH, and our ref determined that it actually had to pass BETWEEN the garbage cans, height wise as well as width. What I found really cool was that everybody had their moment to shine--almost everybody scored a goal, and everybody definitely had a few good moves going on. Some were better than others, of course, but it was actually the foibles and the outright cheating that was the most fun.

As point of fact--if you can score with the PIPE rather than your FOOT, why not?! For that matter, there was one goal scored by headbutt alone, how cool is that?

And to wrap it all up, we had pumpkin pie. I do so love pumpkin pie. I love pie in general. Beats cake any day of the week. I love Thanksgiving time, simply for the overabundance of pies. Really, what more can a girl ask?

11.20.2008

Healthy terror: a possible career move

On Tuesday night I went to a 'write-in' (a less productive variant of a write-a-thon) hosted by the local chapter of NaNoWriMo. I will admit that a big part of the draw was the attendance of local celebrity author Brandon Sanderson, author of Elantris and the Mistborn trilogy. He spoke for about an hour and a half, about writing and publishing and the like. It was informative to a certain degree, and far more entertaining and honest than similar talks/discussions I've attended previously. In particular, Brandon shed light on the possibility of authorship as a career. Before in my mind, it's always been a hobby at which you can make no money whatsoever, or a one-in-a-thousand chance of making it big and making the big bucks. All luck, and not a realistic career path. But B.Sanderson shed light on the actual numbers: selling a book every 1-2 years, a person can, in fact, make a decent living as a writer. And that's just if a book does moderately well--selling 10,000 copies. More than that, and you're making a more-than-modest living.

This makes me come to a full-brakes-stop, with whiplash and everything. This is real. Writing as a career, a possibility. One that I had wished for, but never truly considered as something practical.

I looked around the room several times that evening, and later when the writing started. Most of the people there aren't people I would consider as having potential for real success in this field. That may be exceptionally judgmental of me, I'll admit, as I was basing this judgment almost entirely upon social interaction and discussion of their work, not actual text, which is the important thing in this field. But I looked around, and I wondered if I was any better than anyone in the room, let alone the world, if I could possibly possess some skill or idea that would surpass what all these others might have to offer.

I doubt it. After all, ideas are cheap. Skill is a little harder to come by, but there are plenty of people in the world who can write better than I can, who can stick to an idea and concept better than I can, who are more creative and original than I am. No doubt.

However, maybe I will have something that they won't? The right idea, at the right time and seen by the right eyes in the right place?

Basically, this means that for the first time in over four years (and another five before that!) I'm going to start submitting manuscripts to publishers and agents. I have to tell you that this is about the most terrifying thing in my existence. Every time I freak out (which is almost every time I think about it), I just have to repeat to myself, "What's the worst they can do? Send me a rejection letter--again and again." Sounds bad, but in all reality, that letter is better than no letter at all, because it means that somebody besides me has looked at my words. That is definitely better than nothing.

If I seem a little wild around the eyes when you see me, this may be why. Or it might be some other part of my insanity. With me, you never know.

11.17.2008

The Plague

I just despise being ill. It's such a waste of time! A colossal, monumental waste of time. Sure, I enjoy the sympathy. I enjoy being babied a little by those around me, particularly when I can plead successfully with my mother to get Chinese. Oh yes, these are the perks. And just about the extent of them, because my friends, being sick is just about the most miserable thing on the face of the planet. I have spent the last three days feeling like my head is going to explode at any moment, and sometimes it does in the form of violent sneezes, while the rest of the time I'm so stuffed up I can't hardly breathe. Sleeping is a joke--I spent half my time trying to breathe, and the other half failing to breathe, and the entire time being completely uncomfortable and generally miserable. And this is just a common cold! I've never really had any terrible illnesses, but thank you ma'am, this is well enough for me! Guh!

11.12.2008

"Don't judge a book by it's movie"

It's official. I've decided not to see the Twilight movie.

I know. Stay with me.

I love the book. You can either gasp and enthusiastically agree, or you can begin listing your criticisms. Whatever. I'm not a freak about it like a lot of people, but I have my own kind of enthusiasm (which most often results in me re-reading them a gazillion times.) For these reasons, I have decided not to see the movie.

First of all, I just don't think it will live up to expectations. You KNOW that it won't be the same as what you see in your head. The only person's vision it will even come close to realizing is the director's. Everybody else is screwed.

I don't want to change the vision I have in my head. I like it. I like my own impressions, my own memories of the times I've read it, the images I have created for myself. I don't need a visual substitute. I want to keep my own Twilight.

This is not even beginning to start on what I think of the actor choices, the acting choices, the directorial and sfx choices, or even the quality of the production company. You can rest assured that I have those opinions, but they are the least of why I'm not going.

Maybe I'll see it when it comes out on dvd. It will have less of a lasting impression then, especially if I watch it with the lights on and while I'm distracted. But that also depends on what people think of it--whether I decide at that point whether its even worth watching at all.

To those of you who are going, I wish you the best. I hope that you enjoy it, and that it only increases your enjoyment of the books. Because, as a writer myself, I can only hope that these books-turned-movies increase a love of books in the first place.

11.11.2008

Catharsis

Today has really sucked at work. We lost a HUGE account yesterday, and it was in big part me and my coworker's fault, and we got not only a critical email from the CEO, but also had to go in and have a meeting with him about what we can change and do better in the future. In addition, it's been declared a Stupid People Day. We have one every couple of weeks, when it seems that all of the most concentratedly stupid people decide they all need to call in on the same day and make us miserable.

And so today I find myself drinking Dr. Shasta (which is in no way an acceptable replacement for Dr. Pepper, but is provided by the company for my consumption, so I can't really complain), and listening to my new cathartic treatment: a dose of symphonicky metal with female and other interesting vocalists. ie Nightwish (which happens to be a favorite of my pops), Within Temptation, Evanescence, and even a little bit of DragonForce (the song I really like of theirs being, of course, "Through the Fire and Flames". All the others sound the same.) God bless Pandora!

I'm also trying to work on my novel, but one of my protagonists is putting me through hell, and I don't know what to do with him. So if anybody has any random thoughts concerning my tremulous plotline, I would certainly appreciate them. You wouldn't believe from what I can pull my muse!

11.08.2008

Today, a writer.

For those of you who haven't heard of NaNoWriMo, basically several hundred thousand people across the world get together every November and try to write a novel--or rather, 50,000 words--from 12:01am November 1st until 11:59pm November 30th. For most people, 50k is a challenging but achievable goal over the course of thirty days, and though much silliness often abounds, there is nevertheless a supportive community who very seriously aim for this goal.

In light of this project, and also in light of my own aspiring-author-community struggling to find time to write, this morning I sponsored a write-a-thon for my immediate friends.

I served french toast (and later quesadillas), and we had a massive brainstorming/writing session, though admittedly there was more of the former than of the latter. Mostly, it was just the idea of getting together to write that I personally enjoyed, even though I didn't actually get much done. We talked about ideas, about books, and about physics and mathematical theories, about the nature of matter and energy and void. We discussed different systems of magic, and different writing approaches.

There is a certain amount of excitement associated with writing. It's very like creating. It's art, and there is nothing else quite like it for me. It's a wonderful and beautiful thing, and it makes me exceptionally happy.

11.05.2008

An Indulgence

Normally I try to avoid using this blog to "rant", though I'm not sure how often I succeed, and I certainly try to avoid just simple complaining. I don't enjoy reading complainer-blogs, and I doubt you do either. And yet, tonight I beg you to indulge me in a rant-like question.

Why are boys oblivious? And why at such inconvenient times?

I haven't been frustrated like this in a long time--probably because I haven't really liked a guy for a long time. Which isn't to say I really like a guy now, merely to say that these old feelings are resurfacing, and I find them as equally frustrating as I did the last time I experienced them.

I mean, a girl likes a guy, she flirts with him pretty obviously, and yet...no response! What's a girl to do? He's not interested--not that he's unfriendly, quite the opposite! too much friendship and not enough of a little something else. Something more special.

Why? Why are women thus so plagued?

Thank you. Rant completed.

11.04.2008

Election Day

I really wanted to vote this morning before work, but then I didn't get up as early as I had wanted to, and I feared--rightfully--the lines at the polling place. Our head programmer was over an hour late to work today because of the voting lines, so it turns out a good thing that I waited. However, I think next time around I will make a greater effort to get up and vote early.

And so, at 5:00pm I made my way to my polling place over at the junior high, where I was admitted promptly, quickly tapped my way through the ballot, printed, ejected, got my puny "I Voted!" sticker, and left. It was all rather anticlimactic, I'll admit.

I've been idly discussing with my cousin the high hopes of turning Utah into a blue--or at least battleground--state, and the idea holds a great appeal. I'd like to live somewhere where people don't scorn me for saying that my vote--or theirs!--matters. A place where the vote isn't taken for granted, but where there is real question and the outcome of every persons vote DOES matter.

Today at work, out of boredom more than anything, I ended up discussing Prop 8 with my coworker. This has become a national debate, the results affecting far more than just California citizens. Cindy and I could come to no conclusion. I still don't know how I feel about it. On the one hand, I have many gay and lesbian friends, and a big part of me supports their desire to marry and have the same legal status as hetero couples. On the other hand, I have my religious beliefs that state a marriage is between a man and a woman. I wish that it didn't have to become a legal issue, and could remain a religious battle. In my mind, what right--what honest, legal right--does a government have to define, limit or impune upon the rite of marriage? Is it not strictly a religious observance in the first place? And yet, due to differing and contending belief systems, it has become an unfortunate and violent legal battle, and an exhaustive one at that.

At any rate, I just wanted to say that I am proud to have voted today, proud to have supported my candidates in this tight race--if not in Utah, then at least across the face of this ridiculous nation.