Quitting my job, writing, and life: an update

My blogs have been neglected, I'm afraid. I'm not sure I can quite express to you the insanity that has been my life over the past couple of months. Suffice it to say, I have been a busy girl.

The biggest news that I wish to share with you is that today is my official last day at my morning job. No longer shall I be the friendly customer service rep. No longer do I have to rise early to answer phones and talk to grumpy people. No longer will I claw my eyes out over silly projects handed to me last-minute by my boss. Freedom is mine.

This decision was a long one in coming. I have been dissatisfied with this position for quite some time, but felt stuck by circumstance and finances. However, change is finally in motion. This fall I will be going back to school. I am not certain where yet--I am registered at UVU to get started on a second bachelor's degree. However, I am on the alternate list for the MSW program at the University of Utah. Obviously it would be my preference to skip two extra years of school and go straight into my chosen grad program. So here's to hoping that someone else decides to drop out of the program, so I get to go. They have until August to let me know...so we'll see what happens.

Needless to say, this intent to go back to school put a hard deadline on my time at this job. However, more and more I was getting the feeling that I should quit sooner.

My writing has been going very well. Sam and I finished our manuscript at the beginning of May. Before that time, we set some goals for ourselves and this book. The first was completion by the end of April, which we almost made. The next goal was to finish a full revision of our own by the end of May. This is still in the works, we'll see how much progress I can make this weekend. Our ms will spend the next few weeks in the hands of our first round of beta readers, then undergo a second full revision. Then in July we'll hand it off to our larger second group of beta readers, followed by a third full revision. The goal is to have the ms ready by the end of summer to begin the submission process to agents and editors.

I'm quitting my job for the summer to write. I just feel that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. These few months are precious time for me--in the fall, I'll be back in school and working, so my time to write will be very limited. I feel strongly that I am supposed to finish and pursue this book, so I'm taking this time right now to do so. It was hard to justify to myself--I mean, I may never make a dime off this book. It may never go anywhere. So it was hard to justify a REAL job and the bulk of my income for what may essentially just be a hobby. But after some earnest prayer and counsel from family and friends, I decided that for this summer, it was the right thing to do.

Incidentally...I'm really excited about the book. Co-writing with Sam has had it's challenges here and there, but overall it's been a great experience that we are eager to repeat. Together we've created something really strong, and I think that with the right timing, we have the potential to get published with it. I am very hopeful.

Other updates--Taekwondo is also going really well. I am picking up even more classes this summer, which is exciting. This coming month I will be competing at the Utah Summer Games. I'll be sparring, performing my form, and performing on our school's demo team, which is the shiz. I'm in the middle of a "diet" (not really, it's just eating better and being off sugar) trying to drop a weight class for the tournament. I'm super excited about this competition and everything else going on at the studio.

Life continues. I doubt it will get any less busy for these changes. But hopefully it will be a lot more fulfilling and enjoyable. =)

Guitar triumph!

Behold!


It's an Ibanez Sage series (SGT520VS). Solid spruce top, mahogany back, sides and neck, rosewood bride and fretboard. I tried bunches of different ones the past couple of days, and I found that I was particular to the Ibanez. I tried a couple different Ibanez, several Yamahas, Fenders, Samicks, Washburns, even a Martin today. It was amazing how much difference even I could hear, who have never played guitar before. I'm sure that ear will only get stronger with training. But for the money, I found that I liked the Ibanez. They got good reviews on different websites, I was able to get it for a good price, and it's pretty.

I'm very excited. Now I just have to learn to play it! =)

The Value of Hard Work

Today is Friday. Normally I am a great lover of Fridays. There's just something about them that makes them seem infinitely brighter than the rest of the week. Maybe it's the imminent freedom of the approaching weekend. Or maybe the sun just shines more on Fridays (not that it seems that way on this rainy day!!) Today's Friday seems particularly bright, however, because I am pretending the roadshow does not exist. That's right. Today there is no roadshow. It will come back tomorrow in full force, but for today I am blissfully ignoring its existence.

What I really wanted to write about today is the somewhat abstract concept of hard work. It's been on my mind as I watch people and society around me. Our society has grown remarkably lazy, as no one will hesitate to point out. People (I use the term in its most vague and general terms) seem to expect rewards to simply be handed to them. Jobs. Diplomas. Money. I see this at work a lot--people who call in wanting refunds, because times are hard, and expecting to get money just for the asking. Well, friends--times are hard for us, too.

Hard work is not a concept I have appreciated in every part of my life. I have had my lazier periods--still do, in fact. There are a lot of nasty or difficult tasks that come through a persons' life.

However, I am coming to appreciate just how beautiful and important hard work really is.

There are plenty of platitudes out there about hard work; I will try to spare you. But with utmost sincerity I can tell you that when you really work for something, when you work so hard you think you'll explode with the stress of it, when you've given everything you have and still you are asked to give more...well, I believe that's when you really find the value in it, whether it's a job, education or church, a relationship or a friendship. Putting in the effort gives these things value.

I look at my college experience, particularly in the theatre. My last show there, Henry V, was immensely challenging. It required hours upon hours of effort, and every last drop of ingenuity I had. I gave it my all, everything and more that I had to give. There were other shows like that too, but Henry V truly stands out as the crowning jewel of my experience there. I loved that show. And it's because I wanted to enjoy it. I wanted to be happy, working as hard as I was. And amazingly enough, it worked.

I look now at my singles' ward experience. Through college, I never had a ward that I really cared about. I always wanted cool callings, and was regularly disappointed by the things I was asked to do. My efforts therefore were lackluster--I went to church, I played the piano in Sacrament meeting or whatever my calling was, but that was the extent of my efforts. But my current ward...I went in with the desire and intention to challenge myself. I asked for a challenging calling--not a glory-filled one like I had always imagined that I 'deserved', but something that would stretch me and my skills, something that would take effort and preparation. I was called as a gospel doctrine teacher. Since that calling, nearly everyone I have told of it has sympathized, bemoaned my fate. And yet...I don't find myself complaining. It's difficult. It's a lot of work. It scares the crap out of me every single time. But...I wouldn't give it up for the world.

I look at this roadshow. I have been commended for taking it on, but honestly, I didn't think about it twice when I was asked. And it has been so rewarding--challenging, certainly. Frustrating at times. Chaotic and maddening. But I've gotten to know more people, I've gotten to write and direct, to teach a little and to enjoy these wonderful people who have sacrificed of their time to participate. Throughout the entire experience, I have not begrudged the work and the time and the effort, because it is so worth it!

I don't mean to be self-righteous, and I don't mean to preach. This is more a self-exploration of these things anyhow--realizing that when I have given of my efforts as selflessly as possible, I have enjoyed the experience more. I want to explore the things that I have realized are important.

My point here is that the joys of hard work apply everywhere, to everything. Nothing in this life is going to be easy, and if it is you're probably doing it wrong. The Gospel of Jesus Christ was not meant to be easy--we have to work for it, every moment of every day we have to restore our faith and our desire to follow the direction we have been given. Our daily life was not meant to be easy--we should find ways to challenge ourselves, to force ourselves to grow and improve. Whether its through work or hobbies or friendships, we will be happier if we are active and involved and seeking to challenge ourselves. And when the trials come--hardships through family or finances, through personal challenges or deep questions, my response to you is the same: just keep trying, and have faith. The same goes for relationships, whether with spouses or siblings or children or aunts or cousins or friends, close or the barest acquaintence. Relationships are not easy. They take work, hard and something grueling effort, whether to overcome anger or to overcome apathy, to fight the little annoyances, or to win their heart each and every day. Nothing worthwhile is easy, and if you stop working to keep the things that are important to you, you will lose them, more often than not simply through your own indifference.

Rock Band

I just immensely enjoy Rock Band. I have no idea why. But after leaving the party tonight, I turned DragonForce up really really loud and had to resist the inclination to drive really really fast. I love music. And I just love Rock Band.

Being Mormon...for real!

After my graduation, life toned down a lot. I will tell you that working a full time job is a lot easier in many ways than going to school. No homework, for one thing. And the schedule's a lot more consistent. There are other reasons. But beyond that, I don't stage manage, and I don't belong to any clubs, and my work isn't competing with those other things any more.

The exception to this rule is becoming my church involvement.

Throughout my life, I've been a relatively active member of my church. I go to church every Sunday, and I've always gone to the occasional ward activity that sparked my interest. But that was usually it. I was never a very good visiting teacher, and I can count on my fingers the number of times I've been visit-taught in my life. I thought I was doing fine.

But in my new ward (new being since August...) I'm finally finding out what being "active" can really mean. I was talking to my best friend about it the other night, and there is a marked difference. "Church" is no longer a Sunday thing...it's kind of like belonging to a really big, personal, all-inclusive and pro-active club that has an infinite number of faces and aspects.

For instance, there is Family Home Evening.

In singles' wards I've been in before, FHE has been broken down into smaller units of 10 people or so, with a "Mom and Dad" called to plan and execute the activities each week. This system certainly has its merits, and its possible that my ward will soon or eventually adopt the system. However, for the past few months, our FHE has not been broken down. Each week, every member of the ward is invited to come to the church--its always the same time and place, which is REALLY nice--to participate in a wide range of varying activites. There have been sports, games, serious religious talks and discussions, outings like bowling and visiting Temple Square, and any number of things. I've found this ward to be a lot more creative than others I've attended. With the whole ward invited to attend, I've met a lot more people than I would have by just attending church. Also...it's fun. :)

Also, as mentioned there are Visiting Teaching and Home Teaching. Now, I'm only on the receiving end of the latter, as I am of the female type (in case you hadn't heard). However, I'm gaining a newfound appreciation for visiting teaching. Basically, I have a partner (who is phenomenal, by the way, and I'm enjoying our growing friendship enormously) and we are assigned a handful of girls in our ward (3 at the moment). Once a month, we go visit these young ladies, to see how they're doing, if there's anything they need that we can do or arrange for them, and to offer them a brief spiritual message. I still have yet to be visited by my own such teachers, however I am finding that I enjoy going out and doing the visiting. It has helped me connect with other girls in the ward, and it helps me expand my own spirituality. That sounds vague, I know. But basically...I'm learning to love near-strangers simply by virtue of visiting them and sharing with them this gospel that I love so much. It's a pretty powerful high, actually.

There is also Ward Prayer. Now, I haven't been a frequent attender of this activity in my current ward, but I think I'll be changing that. Sunday night, the ward members are invited back to the church for a very brief gathering. There is a spotlight of one of the newer members (and my ward ALWAYS has new members), a hymn, a spiritual thought, and then everyone kneels down and prays together. And then there are treats and socializing afterward.

Ooh, and on Sundays themselves, there is Ward Choir. My attendance is often irregular, but man, there just isn't anything quite like singing in a choir, especially singing really beautiful arrangements of religious songs that you've known your whole life. I freaking love choir.

Then there are Ward Activities. These are similar to FHE, but on a grander scale. Recent editions have included a Halloween dance, a Thanksgiving dinner, going to the bowling alley (though that one didn't turn out so well), and this weekend we're going ice skating at the 7 Peaks arena.

Also there are temple trips. My ward is starting to get better about making baptisms a part of the ward trips, and though I haven't been with them, I still try to go on my own regularly. Makes a crazy difference in my life, I can't even tell you.

And of course you can't forget the Calling. Some people fear it, some people resent it, some people avoid it like the plague. Others tolerate and endure. Some find fulfillment, others actual joy in their calling. Some just go about it like its nothing out of the ordinary. Most of my callings have been music-oriented, whether playing the piano for some meeting or other, music coordinator, chorister, etc. Now, I am...{drumroll please!} a Gospel Doctrine teacher. Yes, you may wince in sympathy here, laugh, or whatever best pleases you. I've only taught once so far (#2 coming up this Sunday). It's definitely a challenge, but I think it helps me expand my own thinking and studying skills. So, I guess I'm in the endure/fulfillment category. Hopefully enjoyment will come.

And now, the real summation of my blog--this weekend I was asked to head up my ward's portion of the Stake Roadshow. I've been to one roadshow in my life, many years ago, and I don't have strong memories of it, besides it being cheesy and almost painful, thespian that I am. However. I heard that there was going to be a roadshow a few weeks (months?) ago, and I'll admit that it perked my interest. However, with things like this, me knowing myself as I do, I know that I have to be in charge, or not involved at all. Events of which I have an inkling of what I'm doing drive me crazy to watch someone else fumbling through with no idead of what they're doing. So yes, while I will enlist the help and support of as many people as possible, I'm glad that I've been actually put in charge. Committees have the tendancy to drive me up the wall. As a friend of mine said, "None of us is as dumb as all of us."

So at any rate, I'm in charge of the roadshow. It has to be 15 minutes long, the setting is in front of a garage (although it may be inside a garage or beside a garage, the packet isn't entirely clear), and our ward's theme is Service. Oh, and it's in just over a month. The other wards have been prepping for a couple of months now. Yeah...funsies!

Actually, I'm pretty excited about it. It's been too long since I've done anything dramatic, so being given free license to take charge of the project makes me immensely satisfied with life. I'm sure that once I've dived headfirst into the madness I'll be a little...um...shall we say irrascible? But there can be no denying the enthusiasm that even this mockery of theatre brings to my soul.

In all, I think my church is the bomb. (Bet you haven't heard THAT phrase for awhile! Hee hee). Oh, and I think you all should go, cuz it's rockin'. :)

A little domesticity?

Of all the things that I never really pictured myself doing, one of the most surprising turnarounds would be scrapbooking.

We really have to blame my "other-mom" for this. (I have settled on "other-mom" as the title for my birthfather's wife, Jenny, as actually explaining that relationship every time I talk about her is just tedious!) A couple Christmases ago, she gave me my first set of scrapbooking supplies. I suppose it didn't help that my best friend is also a frequent scrapbooker. At any rate, for almost every Christmas, and now birthdays, my other-mom has donated new scrapbooking materials to my cause, and so it moves forward.

The thing is, I find myself enjoying scrapbooking. There's something infinitely satisfying about turning my brain off for awhile, and just mixing colors and shapes and fun pictures. I don't claim to do it well, some of my pages are definitely better than others. But it definitely gives me this odd sense of satisfaction. Besides, I get to find new pictures all the time! Just last night, I was scrapbooking pics from the Juniper Hall days, from the Red Cliffs hike that year, and several from old shows.

In this realm, I have also made the jump at last--I am moving to 12x12 pages. I've been working in 8 1/2x11 forever, I missed the 10x10 jump, but now I am conceding to the 12x12 movement. The format is more open, and you can fit a lot more photos onto a single page. In this light, I bought some big packs of new paper last weekend while staying with Melissa, though I still feel somewhat limited by my resources. I hate to get involved in the sticker revolution, because you can seirously spend a FORTUNE on those things, or really any amount of scrapbooking supplies. Already I feel like I have too much, and yet I still reach out for more that aren't there. Urg! This is when I'm reminded that hobbies are time and money consumers!!