The good news:

• We went tubing at Soldier Hollow last night and it was AWESOME!
• I'm really really really loving "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars. It inspires me.
• This week we're going to start the planning meetings for the FSA National Conference again, and I am definitely in need of a good project to keep me busy--which this conference certainly will do.
• We're leaving a week from tomorrow for Washington D.C. to pick up my brother from his mission!

The bad news:

• The internet's not working at my house, so I wasn't able to work on my novel at home. Grr.
• I found out I'm not elligible for Pell Grants because I already have a degree. So frustrating.
• There's a date night this Saturday, but I don't have anybody to go with.
• I want to go on vacation!!!

I hate airlines, airports, airplanes, et cetera and so forth

Travel log:

7:30am EST. Woke up. Immediately panicked, as my flight left at 7:05am EST.
7:31am EST (5:30am MST) Called Mom. Mom said, stop panicking, pack your stuff and start driving, I'll call the airport. (God bless my ever-patient and loving mother.)
8:00am EST. Started driving. Mom called to say she had put me on a flight at 11:10. Started driving faster. (They charged $59 to put me on that flight--the money panic set in.)
9:45am, I took a wrong turn.
10:00am I realized I had taken a wrong turn. Tried to call my mother, but I had no reception. When I reached the END OF THE ROAD (major panic) I turned around.
10:05am stopped at a gas station for directions. The guy laughed at me.
10:15am got back on the correct highway. Started speeding really bad.
10:30am started looking for gas stations so I could refuel my car. Couldn't find a gas station within 10 miles of the airport.
10:45am Mom told me to suck it up, pay the ridiculous price of refueling by the car rental company, and just get myself to the airport.
10:55am FINALLY the Hertz shuttle took us to the airport.
11:00am The Delta guy at the self-service kiosk would NOT let me see an agent at the desk until I had at least tried the self-service kiosk. This guy was a retard. He kept telling me to take my time, calm down, and he'd 'work the magic' on the self-service kiosk.
11:05am the self service kiosk sure didn't work, so the Delta guy finally let me get in line for an agent.
Now, there was one girl working the desk. Two other guys were just standing there talking. I'm sure it was only five minutes or so, but it felt like five HOURS. I even heard her say, "Gee, am I working here alone today?" They laughed, finally finished talking, and one guy meandered over to the desk. He clicked away at his computer and finally asked if he could help me. (I had totally lost it; I was balling my eyes out.)
11:10am He determined that I couldn't make my flight (no duh, you stupid--). He told me at that point that there wasn't another flight leaving for SLC until 9:00pm. Obviously, the water works were flowing. He was like, "Ma'am, I can't possibly help you when you're crying like this. You need to stop crying." Then he looked around and called out, "Could somebody get me a box of tissues please?" That didn't actually help very much. Anyway, he decided there might be another option (click clack at the computer for another AGE). Then he said there might be a flight, but he couldn't confirm it for another fifteen minutes, so I should go sit down, take deep breaths, and come back.
11:20am Texted Melissa, Anna, and called my mother--who didn't answer--and tried with some success to calm down.
11:30am back up at the counter, the guy got me tickets (yay!) that still wouldn't get me home until about 9 (boo) but at least I wouldn't be leaving AT 9. Furthermore, since I had told him I missed my flight because I had gotten lost (and probably out of fear of the waterworks) he was able to get the fee waived, so they didn't charge me all over again for this new flight (hallelujah!) Then with a condescending smile he said, "Now, don't miss this one!" (Jerk!)
11:45am got through security (blah) and found my gate. Went to the bathroom and washed several hours worth of tears off my face.
Waited.
1:30pm Boarded my plane.
2:00pm Finally left Philadelphia.
4-something pm, landed in Atlanta. Traversed the airport, got a wrap at the same place the parentals and I had wraps on our NYC trip.
6:00pm boarded my plane. Got stuck between a grumpy dude who took over the armrest and never ever relinquished his claim, and a hippie lady who drank nasty-smelling tea and kept laughing really loud at the movie I wasn't watching.
8:30pm MST, landed in SLC. HALLELUJAH!!!
9:00pm, went to visit my grandmother in Bountiful because she'd been planning on seeing me, when I was supposed to have been coming into town at 10 AM and still wanted to see me. I swear, I was so dead, I'm not really sure what we even talked about.
10:30pm, made it home. Unpacked my contact case and my pajamas, cuz that's about all I could handle right then.


I'm now going to pretend that the whole thing didn't happen. I went to sleep in Pennsylvania on Saturday night, and woke up at home this morning. Sunday didn't exist. =P

Also, if you'd like to hear more about my actual experience while in Pennsylvania rather than the debacle of getting home, check out my other blog.

Hel-looo Pennsylvania!

Travel log:

Woke 6:30am, thought about going running as planned, hit snooze button, slept again.
Woke 6:55am, showered, dressed, finished packing.
Departed house 7:35am, best mom EVER drove me to SLC Int'l Airport. Got thru security w/o a hitch, waited. (plane supposed to leave at 9:41am)
Boarded plane 9:32am
Plane takeoff 9:55am
Slept for the first hour or so
Woke up when the guy next to me tried to apply lotion, but in the plane, it kind of exploded everywhere. Gave him my napkins and helped him clean up. Then talked to him for 10min.
Worked on my keynote address for an hour.
Finished a scene in my novel.
Slept again.
Landed 4:00pm EST/2:00pm MST.
Waited. (really had to pee, too!)
Disembarked--and couldn't find a bathroom! The whole freaking airport's being remodeled. Finally found one by the baggage claim, and it was way nasty.
Took the shuttle to Hertz, 4:25pm
Rented a car for the first time, 4:40pm. It was supposed to be a Hyundai, but it turned out to be a Mazda 6. Pretty pleased with that one.
Tried to get to the Reading Terminal Market, 5:00pm. Incidentally, I would advise against trying to navigate downtown Philadelphia at rush hour. After being muy frustrated, I gave up and headed out. (Have to admit that I have mad driving skills that after getting lost trying to find Vine St, I was still able to get myself back onto I-76 and headed in the right direction.)
Got stuck in traffic behind a wreck 5:30pm
Stopped for food, 7:00pm. I had eaten breakfast at 7:00am MST, drank some Fresca and ate a biscotti cookie on the plane...and that's it. I debated seriously about just waiting til Lebanon, but couldn't stand it anymore, so I stopped. Had a roast beef gyro at Arby's--decent, too.
Arrived at hotel, 8:00pm.
Started playing on the internet, 8:25pm.
And here I sit.


Tomorrow morning I'll be working on/finalizing all my presentations. In the afternoon we're going to Hershey for a taste-testing tour/trick-or-treating, where I get to see Ian for the first time in over a year. Then tomorrow evening is my keynote address. Eeek!

Good News Bad News

Over at the Domestic Dork, "Good News Bad News" happens every Sunday, but Holly posts a lot more regularly than I do, so for me it just sort of happens whenever I feel like it. =) Here goes.

The good news...

• The color belts have Belt Test tomorrow at the studio. It's been about three years since I helped with a belt test, and I'm actually kind of excited. It's fun to see what our students are accomplishing, fun to sit up on the board and participate. It will be a long, but ultimately rewarding, day.
• Today is our end-of-the-month BBQ at work. I love these! And I think we're also celebrating all of the September birthdays...which includes me.
• My parents are coming home from Washington this weekend. I've missed them.
• I am officially going to be competing in at TKD tournament in October, and I'm freaking stoked. I'm sure I'll get my butt handed to me, but I'll have an awesome time doing it.
• It's Friday!

The bad news...

• I am so busy I can't even think straight. The only day this week I won't be at the studio is Sunday. (However, perhaps I should have included in the Good news, that I'm still enjoying it...just not enjoying that I never see my friends...or my novel...or really anything else...)
• I STILL haven't written my Liberal Arts Statement.
• I am missing the national board meeting of FSA tonight, and I'm frustrated and upset. We were suppposed to meet two weeks ago, but they up and moved the meeting to the day before belt testing, when I absolutely have to be at staff meeting for TKD. A friend on the board will be presenting my materials, but it's just not the same, and I'm grumpy about it.
• Work is boring. Thus...I'm blogging. I need to be more productive!

Check out the Domestic Dork for more bloggy goodness!

Updates on The Oddity

The FSA National Conference was fantastic! I had a wonderful time, as an attendee and as something of an event manager. I enjoyed in equal measure the classes for my own sake, as well as ensuring everything happened the way it was supposed to. But that's just me! For the longest summary EVER, please visit my other blog.

So now it's back to life, though with a few changes here and there.

The biggest such change is that I'm going to be teaching Taekwondo this fall. I've been given one class so far, an "all-ranks" childrens class on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I got to visit that class for a few minutes on Tuesday, and it was fun. The kids seem to have a lot of energy, and they were excited to be there. I hope that I'll be a good teacher for them! I've never taught a childrens class before, so it will be an adventure!

In case you didn't know, I'm working toward my second degree black belt, which I am going to test for in January. That may seem far off to YOU, but for ME, it's coming up mighty fast! I'm still very out of shape, and it's going to take a lot of work to get in shape, as well as to learn and prepare everything I will need to test. Adventures!

As far as the works of me and my Muse, things move slowly. My co-authorship with Sam is still plugging along. I find myself frequently distracted, and it's difficult to focus long enough to be honestly productive. I seriously need a getaway, just for writing. But lacking that, I just plug along as best I can. (Still in love with Google Docs, by the way.)

Life is good. I'm busy, which is the best way to be. I'm happy with the things that I'm doing. Onward, ever onward!

Focused on the goal

This weekend, July 31-August 1, is the Families Supporting Adoption national conference.

I have been working on this conference for over four months. I got asked if I wanted to "be involved" and "help out" (such innocent terms), which quickly involved into a full-fledged planning committee, of which I quickly became a co-chair.

Last year was the first time birth parents were invited to attend the conference. There were a total of six classes offered for birth parents, only on the second day of the conference.

Our planning committee (which didn't exist last year either) quickly decided that this wasn't nearly enough. As we brainstormed ideas for sessions and presenters, we quickly expanded to fill both days of the conference. We more than doubled the size of the birth parent portion (which is still barely a fifth the size of the adoptive-couple side).

All of our hard work and time has come down to the wire. The conference starts Friday morning. Of course there will be hiccups, as there have been constantly over the past weeks. But I am so excited.

This conference represents the culmination of my passions. Firstly, I love adoption, I advocate adoption, and I love talking to people about adoption. And this is two whole days of talking about adoption. Secondly, I love organizing things. This conference has let me off the leash, and I have been able to organize and facilitate and detail-out to my heart's content. It's the utmost use of my stage management and administrative abilities.

It's going to be awesome.
It's going to be inspiring. (except maybe for MY presentations!)
It's going to be the adoption event of the year.

And I can't wait for it to be over. :P

Playing catch-up

I was talking to a friend today about how busy I am making my life. He said, "That's okay, but just remember balance. That's a problem that you struggle with sometimes."

I wanted to take this opportunity to catch you up on some of the activites I've got going on, as well as those that I'm on the verge of.

Tonight I'm going to Taekwondo, which I'm pretty excited about. I didn't get to go last Thursday like I had planned, which is fine, but I'm glad to go back tonight. I am craving TKD and physical activity (which will play again in a moment) and I've missed the TKD community a great deal. So yay!

Also, I'm hoping that tonight will be the night: I'm going to buy a guitar. This makes me exceptionally nervous along with exceptionally excited. I can't wait to start learning.

Tomorrow I"m going to be playing softball on a city league team I just joined. I haven't played in ages so hopefully I don't look like an utter fool. But I'm excited to get out and play.

On Thursday I'll be up in SLC again for a planning committee meeting for the birthparent section of this summer's Families Supporting Adoption conference.

Friday I may be going to either the zoo or an aquarium, pending my friend Chris stepping up to organize the outing. I'm not going to lie. I really love every single one of my friends, but I get really tired of organizing most of our activities. So this time, Chris is in charge. =)

In the midst of all these things, I have lots of other things to do as well. Volunteer work, my new obsession with adoption blogging, writing a novel (in my new Moleskine notebook), stressing about the upcoming Semifinal announcement for ABNA, preparing to teach Sunday school, and hopefully making some kind of handout for visiting teaching (I've been kind of lax in that aspect of my calling), searching for a LBD to wear to Dixy's wedding, and hopefully maintaining x-number of friendships in the meantime.

Oh, and working 40 hours a week.

So yeah, life is busy. I wouldn't have it any other way. Hopefully I don't explode. And hopefully you know that I still love you!

Adoption blog

I'm getting more involved in the adoption cause, and I feel like I need a forum with which to specifically address adoption issues. For that cause, I have created a new blog:

mamavalerius.blogspot.com

There's nothing much there yet, but it will grow. For all few of you who read this blog, fear not: the muse will continue to descend. I'm just a little OCD and needed separate places for separate things.

Also, if you have some interest in adoption, please don't hesitate to link to either of my blogs!

Loves.

The Wheels in the Brain go round and round...

Of late, it seems like there are several things that I am anxious about. None of these are life-threatening. It's just things that hover in the back of my mind, gnawing at me, occasionally making my stomach clench, and occupying a sort of ridiculous amount of my brain capacity as I ponder them continually.

1) My book. Or rather, the ABNA. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, you know? But I just keep thinking about it. I'd really like to progress to the next round.

2) THE HOUSE. You haven't heard about this for a little while, but last night, our realtor came over and I filled out the bid paperwork. My bid will be over to the seller today. AH! Nothing's going to happen quickly with this house, but I'm dealing with it, because this house feels right.

3) My new calling. I'm the visiting teaching coordinator in my singles ward. Learning the ropes and doing it RIGHT are occupying a ridiculous portion of my thoughts.

4) The volunteer work I'm doing. While this doesn't necessarily consume large portions of my time, it does end up consuming a lot of my thoughts. Poor Melinda, I feel like I drive her crazy.

5) Current writings. I'm trying to start a new series, and so far it's slow going. I whipped out the first chapter like it was nothing, but since then have struggled for each paragraph. I'm thinking about a different approach, but mainly the concern has been lack of time. MUST. WRITE. The craving is overpowering.

6) Most minor of all: I want to play softball in the city leagues this summer. Can do, but you have to provide your own team, and all of the easy leagues are already full. Which means I need to find a group, and a group who can play. The craving! So I'm nosing about my ward (via Facebook, currently) to see who wants to come out and play. If we can get enough so its feasible, I'm all over it. :)

Isn't it ridiculous how things pile up? Especially the things we can do nothing about except think about them--over and over. Hopefully I can get my brain in gear and focus today. Wish me luck!

NEW FEATURE!!

Take a moment, scroll down and check out the ADOPTION BUTTON on the sidebar over there ==>

Jen created this beautiful button, and I encourage you to check out her blog to get to know her a little better. Seriously one of my favorite people in the world.

As you ought to know as a reader of my blog, I am an avid proponent of adoption, and it could not be more the case than with the family of my Ian. Adoption has become more and more about being in the right place at the right time. That was certainly the case with Ian's adoption--some mutual friends happened to speak up at the right moment, and then friendship and Heavenly Father took over. So if you know someone who's considering adoption, please don't hesitate to send them our way. It's all about love. =)

Weird thoughts

I don't think guys realize how much girls think about their weddings. I mean, even without a male prospect in mind, girls think about their weddings all the time, out of context. There are a lot of things like that, but I find weddings to be fairly universal for females of my age and relative social stratum.

Anyway.

I was thinking about bridesmaids this evening. My younger sister (the oldest daughter of my birthdad and other-mom) is engaged, and I have been appointed her maid of honor. Also, one of my good friends is almost-engaged (they have an appointment at the temple, but still no ring--it seems backwards to me), and it occurred to me this evening that I probably won't be asked to be a bridesmaid for that one. So that got me started thinking about who I would ask to be my bridesmaids--pending the unknown future spouse's close female relatives, of course. But then THAT led me to another strange thought.

Did you know that I have four siblings that I have never met? Half-siblings, actually. I don't even know their names. I'm pretty sure that my birthmother told me at one time, but somehow I let that information slip my mind. I have three brothers and a sister that do not know that I exist (as far as I know). This is a fact of my life that has perturbed me for some time now, and though I go long periods without dwelling on it, it always strikes me strangely when it reoccurs.

So as I was thinking about my bridesmaids, I was thinking about my best friend and my three sisters, when it suddenly occurred to me that somewhere in the world I have another sister who doesn't know I exist. And I'll admit that it made me more than a little sad to think that she couldn't come to my wedding because she wouldn't know it's happening because she doesn't know who I am or anything about me, and that it's likewise for me. And it just struck me as incredibly, impossibly strange that I could share blood--close, real blood--with someone and yet be so impossibly separated. Tonight, it makes me sad. That's all.

A wave of gratitude

Now, as you should know as a reader of this blog if you do not already, I have a two-and-a-half-almost-three-year-old son, whom I placed for adoption a few days after he was born. Unlike my own adoption, Ian's has been almost completely open. To this day, I exchange emails and photos with his family on a fairly regular basis, and communication has been very open. This summer while they were in Utah for a family wedding, we were also able to meet for lunch, and I saw my son for the first time in two years, which was AMAZING, no lie there. And this evening I at last received the photos from the occasion.

I just can't even express my gratitude. If ever I were to be a proponent for something, for just one thing in the entire world (besides the gospel of Jesus Christ) it would be adoption, and open ones at that. The blessings that have entered my life because of that one choice are too numerous to name. To any dear friends or complete strangers who might have this as a consideration for their own, may I recommend it to you with all my heart. Adoption blesses lives, for children, birthparents and adoptive parents alike.

I have moved on with my life since that time, there is no doubt. And this is one of the true blessings for me--that I have been able to move on and live my life. My son is living an amazing, astounding life, even at this young age, and it is a life that I in no way could have given him. And I have been able to live my life, to continue to grow and progress, hopefully to a point where I may someday find a companion who will love me forever and be a loving, stable parent to our children. That is the blessing for both our houses--entirely besides the blessing of the adoptive parents receiving a child. Everyone wins, and everyone can be happy. These are the wonders of adoption.

I love my son. I have not forgotten him, just as I have not forgotten my own birthparents, who loved me enough to give me to a better life. I am so incredibly happy that my son is a growing, happy, healthy little boy, and that he has such wonderful people to love him. Because that's what adoption is really about--it's just expanding the circle of love, and growing a bigger family for that small, special life. And as they say, all you need is love. :)

Casinos have never been a temptation before now....

I spent this past weekend with my birthfather [Jason], his wife [Jenny], my sisters, and various sundry relatives, at Jenny's family's property somewhat above Strawberry Reservoir. This is the second time I've been up there, the first time I'd met some of the various sundry relatives (although, I'll admit here that I enjoyed these sundry relatives much better than some of the sundry relatives that were there last time. But this is irrelevant...)

Spent the weekend relaxing, fishing (which is still very new to me), chatting, watching movies, reading, and--my personal preference--playing games. I just have this thing about playing games. Any games, board games, card games, whatever. My family doesn't play a whole lot of games, because there just aren't enough of us to play much more than Settlers of Catan, which, admittedly, we enjoy, but still don't play that often. So up at camp, there's a whoooole bunch of us, and games abound. I'm in heaven.

We brought up Pit, which I have discussed before, being one of my all-time favorite group games, following closely behind Apples to Apples. However, I get quite enough of Apples during my PGSA summers, so Pit was definitely high on the list. We also played Phase 10 (not my favorite--I need to get this fambily to play Shanghai), and the Totally Insane Card game. However, at some point (I think it was only yesterday) my sister Danielle asked if we could play poker, as their uncle has a nice poker set he keeps up at camp. So Dad obligingly brought out the set, and proceeded to teach me various versions of poker. I can't even remember all their names. But after several hands of just being confused, I asked about Blackjack. He tried to explain it to me, but I asked D and her bf to play a round with me so I could get it better. And HOURS later, we were still there, playing Blackjack. And we played again after fishing that night. And again this afternoon.... Seriously addicting, and I have no idea why!

On a side note: I don't like teenage boys. I guess I liked them when I was a teenage girl, but no longer. I particularly don't like teenage boys who date my teenage sisters. It may be a bit overprotective of me...or maybe it's just the teenage boy thing. Anywho...

I was also faced with the discouraging fact that my other family all have, to my dismay, thoroughly enjoyed "Breaking Dawn." Now, I admit and will continue to admit, that I need to read the book again in order to really decide how I feel about it. And I'll give that my earlier review was perhaps more negative than really necessary. After all, there were definitely points that I enjoyed. However, I--currently--still stand by my dislike of the book. I found it to be overall disappointing, and was a little discouraged that my sister(s) and Pops did not so far agree.

On an entirely separate note, last week before I left for camping, I gave a rough draft of my novel over to its first readers--two of my very best friends, Sam and Ashley. Now, Sam will gush and tell me how wonderful it was no matter what he thinks of it, and then perhaps give me a tentative review while I try to drag details out of him. This I am prepared for. However, Ashley is an entirely different matter. Ashley is one of the pickiest people I know, particularly when it comes to movies and books. She is incredibly picky about what she likes and doesn't like, and I am INCREDIBLY nervous about her reading my book, especially in the precarious rough-draft stage it is in. But giving it to Sam meant also giving it to Ashley, and I so I just have to hope that she will be sensitive with my baby, just after I have cut the umbilical cord and let someone else's eyes rest upon it the very first time. It's terribly nervewracking!

And now...on to the job hunt!

Long week/end: summary, nothing profound

I've spend most of this week up at Primary Children's with my cousin Hollie and her daughter Elaina, who had open-heart surgery on Thursday. Updates at Hollie's blog. It's amazing how stressful waiting can be. I mean, you're just sitting around, or pacing, or both, you're not really doing anything physically taxing, but I'll tell you what, by Thursday night our whole family was exhausted--none less so than little Elaina-bug and her mama.

Hospitals are fascinating places. You would not believe everything that goes on there unless you spend a lot of time there. I've also found that ICUs are way busier than other parts of the hospital--constant action, streams of people coming in and out. Doctors, nurses, therapists, technicians, janitors, social workers--entirely besides patients, parents and visitors. And you would not believe the Sounds! I sat for a few minutes with Elaina and just listened, identifying sounds. I mean, there's monitors watching every bodily function she has. There were bubbling sounds from the chest tubes sucking liquid from her lungs and chest. There's the ventilator pumping, breathing for her. There's people talking, in the rooms and out at the nurses' station. People washing their hands, the automatic towel dispenser nearly giving me a heart attack every time it went off. I mean, this is a hopping place! And Primary's, as I think I've said before, isn't like most hospitals. I mean, for one thing, its full of children, which entirely changes the aspect of the place. But for another, there's a lot more hope there than at other hospitals. Maybe because its children, or maybe its just because its a special place, I don't know. I think it takes special people to work there, and they sure make a difference.


On a different note, today was something of an adventure. My best friend Melissa is turning 22 next week, and because of my job I am going to miss it again this year, so I told her I'd come up this weekend and do whatever she wanted to do. So last night we went to the drive-in movie in Roy (or is it Ogden?). I'd never been to the drive-in before, so I was pretty excited. We took some lawn chairs and a bunch of blankets, and we set up between two cars with their windows down--we had pretty good surround sound! It's always a double feature there, so first we saw Kung Fu Panda--it was funny, but definitely a kids movie. Then we slept through Indiana Jones--but at least I'd seen it before! We didn't get home until after two, but it was fun.

I spent the morning with Melissa and her family, then I headed south. I had lunch with Gregory at a little Frenchie restaurant downtown called Les Madelines. I had a Sesame Chicken Wrap, which was quite delicious, and a pastry dessert that I couldn't even begin to spell or pronounce, but which was nevertheless delicious. And, of course, I had a chance to chat with my Gregums, which was wonderful and well-needed.

Next stop was a brief visit at Primary's--I sat with Elaina for awhile so that Hollie could take a nap. I wish I could have stayed longer! My hope is that Hollie can get some rest tonight, she's wearing herself pretty thin.

Then it was down to T-ville to visit Dixy. We never ended up having our LOST party--we were trying to set up a date that we could watch LOST together, but it didn't happen. I'm just glad I got to see her. We went grocery shopping and picked up some father's day cards, then she had to go to work.

I had been planning to stop over at my birthfather's house for a little while after that, but my sisters were gone and 'step-mom' Jenny is sick, so I ended up driving over to my Pop's work to say hi and give him his card and return "Meet the Robinsons" which I borrowed last week. It was good to see him, I'm glad I went--he would've been mad if I hadn't seen him before leaving for PA. He's way too good to me!

Then it was home to Orem at last--I feel like I haven't been here for days, because of all the time I've spend in SLC this week, so it was good to come home and crash on the couch for awhile. Poor little Ben's really sick--he's been puking on and off all day, even since I've been home. Rough day for the poor guy. But we watched Toy Story 2 together, then it was off to bed.

So, I leave for Pennsylvania on Tuesday. I'm driving out, planning to take three days to get there. It's something over 1800 miles, and the largest chunk comes first--I'll be driving to Kearney, Nebraska on Tuesday, to stay with my uncle there. My aunt--Hollie's mom--will be here helping Hollie and helping take care of Ben. I'm actually pretty excited about the drive, but we'll see how it goes.

Playing around

On Sunday I drove up to Kearns to celebrate my birthfather's 39th birthday. I almost got him an "over the hill" card, but decided it would, after all, be premature.

We had a lovely dinner where I watched my sister Sam eat some casserole with her sour cream--I wish I had a metabolism like hers! I drank far too much Dr. Pepper, but when it's available, that's what I do. Oh, and there was really good cantaloupe. It's not my favorite fruit, because sometimes I like it and sometimes I really don't. But that day, I really did, and ate it in good measure.

After dinner we all sat down for some games. I love playing games--board games, card games, whatever, but this is seriously one of my favorite relaxation activities. My family doesn't really play that often--it's hard to find games that can be played with only four people, and that all four of us--diverse people that we are--can enjoy together.

Not a problem with my other family. First we sat down to play the Totally Insane Card Game, a Utah-Mormon invention, I believe. It's absolute insanity--as the title suggests. There's 200 cards or so, and most of them are different. Some are useless, some are annoying, most are amusing, some downright hilarious. If you like games that make sense, this is not the game for you. Otherwise, you have to try it!

Next we played Pit, which is a game imitating the stock exchange--you switch commodities with the other players, trying to corner the market. It gets very loud and crazy--although, we did try a couple rounds of silent bidding. You had to hold up fingers to show how many cards you wanted to trade. That was interesting too. Anyway, good times!

Also, I have discovered a love for the movie "Meet the Robinsons", an animated feature that came out last year. On the surface, it's a cute movie about a kid who moves forward with his life, and becomes a cool inventor. It's got deeper levels, though, and some really strong science fiction themes. It plays with time, and each time I'm discovering something new, and I constantly enjoyed the speculative relationship between Lewis and Wilbur. Highly enjoyable, I recommend it to all.

Memorial Day

Over the Memorial Day weekend, I went camping up past Strawberry Reservoir. I went with my birthfather, Jason, his wife Jenny, and my three sisters. Jenny's extended family own about half a mountain, and anybody we saw up there was related somehow. We slept in camper-trailers, we rode ATVs, and we went fishing. I will note here that I have been fishing once before, that I can remember, and it was at Paradise Pond when I was about 7. So this was a new experience for me. I didn't catch anything, but I had fun nonetheless.

Now, I'll admit that there were some awkward moments. Probably most of these people (since they were from my birthfather's wife's side) had no idea who I was. Jenny was a trooper at introductions, and most of them were polite enough to smile, nod, and pretend they understood, at least while I was present. They'd dig out the old skeletons when they weren't around. There was one woman--great aunt somebody from across the way--who was very confused, and said "Oh! I didn't know he had one of those" with an awkward pause afterward. Thankfully, that was as bad as it got.

On the whole, I really enjoyed being adopted. Growing up, it didn't mean a whole lot to me, because it was a closed adoption and I had very little information about my birthparents. No names, no pictures, only a short medical history and some basic stats. I thought about them sometimes, wondered what they were like, whether I had siblings out there. I always wanted sisters. And actually, I always wanted an older brother, though I knew that was impossible. (Michael filled in rather nicely.) But generally, the nice part about adoption came after I found out who they were.

It's like having two families. And in a good way. I have two sets of parents, I have three little sisters to tease (and hopefully be a good example for), I even have four sets of extended families. I'll tell you who's been the best about all of it, and it's Jenny, my birthfather's wife. She has no blood connection to me, she has no real reason to treat me as well as she does. But she does. She treats me like one of her own daughters--sometimes better! It's never awkward. And Jason loves me probably more than I deserve. He's exactly the kind of dad I always wished I had--big, boisterous, teasing, outgoing. Don't get me wrong, I love my father--he's a skinny, quiet guy who can do anything, and he's always there for me. But there's just something that I love about big, boisterous father figures. Now I've got two of the best dads in the whole world. No one could be luckier.

This is how I view adoption: it's gaining more family. It's just more people to love.

Juno

I have a great deal of blogging to catch up on--I took notes while in Moab this weekend. Oh yes, many fun and funny stories to re-experience about the camping trip. But those will save for another day, hopefully when I am more awake.

In the meantime, however, I want to laud the virtues of the movie "Juno"

First of all, its a successful Sundance film. I'm trying to determine what it is exactly about them that I can sense. There's definitely something. After the movie, my mom said, "It's a Sundance film" and I said "I know", though I hadn't really thought about it until that moment. Food for further thought.

Secondly, it has a strange, quirky, and totally lovable protagonist, who does nothing you expect her to and everything you want her to. I'm in script love.

Thirdly (and almost most importantly) it has Allison Janney in it. And, as a bonus, you also get the lovely Jennifer Garner in an odd but nevertheless lovely role.

And Fourthly, its just plain heartwarming. Sometimes my mother surprises me with what her Netflix sends home, but this one was actually one we all--my father included--rather enjoyed. It made me cry on several separate occasions. I'm about to go watch it a second time (before it gets sent back to Netflix) and see if it can do it again even though I know what happens.

See you tomorrow (I hope) with the Road Trip blog (and pictures!)

The Meaning of "Family"

As you may or may not know, I'm adopted. I was placed with my parents at the tender age of four days old, and I went nineteen years having no more information about my birthparents than a medical history card. The summer right before I turned nineteen, I decided to look for them. Legally I wasn't allowed to confirm their identity until I was 21, but there were plenty of adoption-reunion websites to circumvent that restriction. So, I found an entry that matched mine, and a few emails later we had confirmed our relationship--my birthfather had been searching for me. He introduced me (via email) to my birthmother. We spent the summer emailing, then in August, my (adoptive) parents held a barbeque, and I met my birthparents, and my birthfather's three daughters and his wife.

To make a long story short, I have continued to develop a relationship with my birthfather's family since that time. I've had about three emails from my birthmother.

I got thinking last night after I left my birthfather's house. I have a relationship with him and his girls that I wouldn't give up for the world. They are my family. I may not have grown up with his girls, but I can now tease them and talk to them--if not like a sister, then at least a good friend. I love talking to Jason and his wife Jenny. And they love spoiling me, giving me things. I never leave their house without SOMEthing in hand.

It was my birthmother's birthday last week. He alerted me, and we both emailed--mine was more in the line of birthday wishes, but last night he told me he wrote and chewed her out. He's mad that she's missing a relationship with me--he thinks she's on a high horse. Long story. In the end, I just told him that I don't feel like I'm missing anything, because I have him.

I don't really know what most people think about adoption. I've always been too close to understand the general opinion. I see reunion shows on the daytime talk shows, and I just laugh--I can't imagine going through that in front of a television audience. Now it's even more complicated because I placed my own son for adoption two years ago. But I'll tell you this much--for me, adoption has just turned into a bigger family. Sometimes I even feel sorry for people who only have a normal family! I've got multiple parents, extra sets of grandparents, and more aunts and uncles and cousins than I care to think about, and I can say the same thing for my son--people he's never, and probably will never meet, love and care about him. That's the meaning of family--people who love and care without ever needing a reason to do so.