Most days, I hate my hair. It's an ongoing problem.

We had a few guy friends over the other night, and somehow we ended up discussing hair (I think it was one small portion of a LONG discussion on dating and relationships). The young men expressed how they like long hair on girls. They find long hair to be more feminine and more attractive.

So, I've been growing out my hair. The purpose of this is multifaceted. The first reason is simply because I haven't had 'long' hair in a long time, and I wanted to try it out. The second reason is more complicated--my mother, bless her heart, has had the same hairstyle for about 20 years (although she's presently growing out her hair, and I'm very proud of her). Under absolutely no circumstances do I want to fall into that trap. I want to always be young and dynamic in my hair and dress (we'll see how that actually turns out). After wearing my hair the same way for 18 months or so, I decided that it was time to try something different. Since my hair couldn't get much shorter, it was time to grow it out. Beyond those reasons, however, was the simple desire to have 'long' hair (that's a relative term, of course) for my wedding...whenever that happens. However, it takes a long time to grow out hair, so it was worth starting.

My hair has been growing steadily, and I'm actually quite proud of the length I've attained. I can almost make a ponytail. I'm so close! I really really really want to be able to make ponytails again. I don't find them all that attractive on myself, but they will make Taekwondo so much less hassle. =)

However.

Almost every day, I think about cutting my hair. I really liked my old style. It was cute, it was spunky, it was very me. I don't know whether it would be considered feminine by these guys, or any of the guys I've gone out with. But I felt very attractive with this particular hairstyle. I am tempted all the time to return to it. But then all these months of hair-growing would be wasted. That's what I remind myself.

I don't want to be one of those women who has long hair, gets married, and then chops it all off. I think that's tacky. But I've had short hair consistently since I graduated from high school, so I don't think having short hair would be all that unusual for me.

My goal is to be strong for awhile yet. I want to be able to make ponytails. =) And maybe if it gets a little longer, I'll like it a little better. At any rate, we'll see what happens.


PS: I think boys are lucky, that they don't have to deal with this madness.