SEATTLE

Seriously, folks

I expect more of you! As a reader of this blog, I have my hopes and faith in you, that the readership (however small) will follow through. C'mon folks!

Thus, in light of the minimal reaction to my former efforts, I have included this brief and concise list of directions concerning the action I wish you to take. ;)

Please visit the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award webpage.

Click on "Science Fiction".

Scroll through the ranks of novels that are actually getting reviews until you find my poor, lonely entry. (Title: Traitor Defiant)

Download the excerpt.

Read the excerpt.

Then, scroll down to the Customer Reviews section, and write a review. This is not intense, people. A paragraph or two is all that is required here. You don't even have to be nice if you are not so inclined! If you don't like it, you don't like it. I will still appreciate your review.

Thanks again! Much love to you all.

I went skiing on Saturday...

...and it was pretty awesome.

The Wheels in the Brain go round and round...

Of late, it seems like there are several things that I am anxious about. None of these are life-threatening. It's just things that hover in the back of my mind, gnawing at me, occasionally making my stomach clench, and occupying a sort of ridiculous amount of my brain capacity as I ponder them continually.

1) My book. Or rather, the ABNA. I'm trying not to get my hopes up, you know? But I just keep thinking about it. I'd really like to progress to the next round.

2) THE HOUSE. You haven't heard about this for a little while, but last night, our realtor came over and I filled out the bid paperwork. My bid will be over to the seller today. AH! Nothing's going to happen quickly with this house, but I'm dealing with it, because this house feels right.

3) My new calling. I'm the visiting teaching coordinator in my singles ward. Learning the ropes and doing it RIGHT are occupying a ridiculous portion of my thoughts.

4) The volunteer work I'm doing. While this doesn't necessarily consume large portions of my time, it does end up consuming a lot of my thoughts. Poor Melinda, I feel like I drive her crazy.

5) Current writings. I'm trying to start a new series, and so far it's slow going. I whipped out the first chapter like it was nothing, but since then have struggled for each paragraph. I'm thinking about a different approach, but mainly the concern has been lack of time. MUST. WRITE. The craving is overpowering.

6) Most minor of all: I want to play softball in the city leagues this summer. Can do, but you have to provide your own team, and all of the easy leagues are already full. Which means I need to find a group, and a group who can play. The craving! So I'm nosing about my ward (via Facebook, currently) to see who wants to come out and play. If we can get enough so its feasible, I'm all over it. :)

Isn't it ridiculous how things pile up? Especially the things we can do nothing about except think about them--over and over. Hopefully I can get my brain in gear and focus today. Wish me luck!

I just love books

After waiting 13 days for a package that was "3-8 Day shipping", I finally got my order from Borders.com. I ordered three books with a gift card I got with my Cash Back bonus from my Discover Card. Sweet muffycakes, free books!

All three are in an effort to complete series that I already own, in part. I'm sort of obsessive that way. I really like to own entire series, not just scattered books. So with my free books, I completed the "Winds" trilogy by Mercedes Lackey, and I bought the third out of four in the "Protector of the Small" quartet by Tamora Pierce. Two of my favorite fantasy authors, and both series that I enjoy.

Books just make me happy. I can't help it. I love to buy new books. I really love to buy them at bookstores, but our local Borders has an absolutely terrible selection of SF/Fantasy. I think that section shrinks every time I go. And an entire shelf is dedicated to Tolkien paraphenalia. I mean, he's brilliant, but we should leave some room for other folks. When there's only eight shelves, giving an entire one over to Tolkien seems a little silly, don't you think?

Quarterfinals!

Remember the Amazon Breakthrough Novel contest?

I made the Quarterfinals! Since the entry date back at the beginning of February, the entrants were narrowed down from 10,000 to 2,000. Then, they were narrowed down from 2,000 to 500. These 500 were announced yesterday night, and will now progress through the quarterfinal period, in which each excerpt will be reviewed by Publisher's Weekly, as well as customer reviews on Amazon.com. In April, ABNA will announce the 100 Semifinalists, and I've got my fingers crossed!

Dear reader, this is where you come in. Please, take a few minutes to read my excerpt, found here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001UG3CGW. You'll need to download it, but it doesn't cost anything. And then, if you would be so kind to write a customer review! It's anonymous (I believe) so you can say whatever you want and I won't know it's you! ;) But really, it would be great if you would help generate interest for my entry. I'm starting to get pretty excited about this contest. And of course, I want you to read my writing! Even if science fiction isn't your usual cup of tea, please humor me, and take a peek at my excerpt. If you have any questions, let me know!

Oh, and if you're interested in looking at the other entries, look here: www.amazon.com/abna

Sleep is overrated

Every night for the past, mmm well almost two weeks now, I have come home at some late hour and my mother has promptly told me that I'm crazy. Tonight my response was, "What's new?"

Seriously. I have gotten used to getting plenty of sleep, and I've gotten used to having a certain amount of free time. Well, in the past few weeks (and the weeks to come) both have been diminishing in significant amounts. And you know what? I'm pretty much okay with that.

Today was maybe not the best day. I've been in sort of a bad mood today, not for any one particular reason, but a compilation of things. A large part is that I'm feeling a little ill and rather tired. But you know? It was still a good day. I maintain that Sunday is my favorite day of the week (and you ought to know how I am with favorites--I don't have a favorite much-of-anything). I wouldn't trade this busy-ness for the lack thereof. I LIKE being busy, I like that almost-overwhelmed feeling that makes me feel productive and active and accomplished. So for now I say that sleep is overrated. Check back with me in a few weeks, and we'll see how its going.

Seeking the Muse

I went for a late night drive. I was at a birthday party with a couple of new friends from my ward, and when I told them I wanted to drive, I don't think they really understood. "Where are you going to go?" asked one. Nowhere in particular was the answer, but I didn't want to sound insane, so I replied, "I don't know."

Haven't I talked about my love of driving? I love to drive. Just...drive. I don't always have to have a destination, and it doesn't always have to be for the scenery, either. For me, I find a certain catharsis in the open road, in just...driving.

Tonight, I was seeking to clear my head and think about my writing. I'm embarking on a new project at the moment, one which may--if it works out the way I'm planning--keep me busy for several years. I've been trying to sit down and work on it all day, with very little success. My brain has been too cluttered full of other things...my Sunday school lesson, my talk for Sacrament Meeting tomorrow, my friendships and dating life, the books I'm reading, my failure to make it to various things I was supposed to do today...you can see the clutterage.

But hitting the road tonight, even if I only made it to Payson before I turned around...it was exactly what I needed. I started with Coldplay, switched to a rock and metal mix I like, then changed to Nightwish in Payson and stuck with that the whole way home. And I was able to THINK, to brainstorm. Three new characters of protagonist quality were born during this drive, amidst a great deal of world-fleshing and conflict-storming.

Sometimes, the Muse descends of his/her own accord, and ideas are just born. But sometimes I have to seek out my Muse. Perhaps now the floods will come.

I gave in

And started watching the second season of Heroes.

Ultimate Frisbee and the height of Cool

Last night for Family Home Evening, two of our groups combined to play Ultimate Frisbee in the dark. We had a glow-in-the-dark frisbee and everyone wore colored, glow-in-the-dark wristbands. And actually, it was really fun. I totally got into it, which was fun for me. Through the game, the guys (predictably) got REALLY competitive. Our FHE mom had to remind them that there were more than two of them on each team, because they weren't passing to anybody else. After that it got a little better, but they were still really competitive. For me, the choice was to either get in there and play right along with them, or not to have a good time and just be mad at them all. So, I played right along with them. I was racing all over the field, I got hit in the face by the frisbee, I got tripped and shoved, but I also tripped and shoved (not so much on purpose as in self defense!) and frankly I had a great time.

Afterward, I was at a friend's house with a small group of friends, and we were talking briefly about the game. At one point there was a touchy moment when we were talking about one of the guys who had gotten really competitive. The girls were not much impressed by this young man [we will call him Brad], but one of the guys declared, "Nah, he's so cool. I look at that guy and I wish I was him."

I started really contemplating what it means to be "cool". I was at the time thinking in reference to my singles ward. Certainly, coolness is based upon the admiration of others. In that way, Brad is certainly possessed of some coolness. In a related sense, it has to do with attention--people who are cool are people who can hold the attention of others, and then their admiration.

HOWEVER. I came to the conclusion last night that true coolness isn't one-sided. A person who is really "cool" includes instead of excludes. The people that others really admire are the ones who make them feel cool too. That's where Brad fails--he certainly doesn't make me feel cool when I'm around him (he just annoys me when I'm around him, but I'm working to overcome that). So I don't think he's cool. Our other friend feels cool around him, so he thinks Brad is cool.

I doubt this is as impressive a realization to anyone else as it was to me. I just realized that social acceptance isn't about exclusion, it's about inclusion, for real and true. People love people who make them feel loved and important. They may admire the ones who seem "cool", but they'll respect and love the ones who make them feel cool too. I guess it's really about the level of sincerity involved. Which means I need to get off my high horse and accept these boys in all their competitive, arrogant, and narrow-sighted glory. ;)

I am interested for your thoughts, if you have them. What does cool mean to you?

Reverting to Childhood

This weekend, I discovered that Wal-Mart had sidewalk chalk for $1. You would not believe the giddy delight that spread through me at the sight of it (of course, it was about 10:30pm at the time, could have been an influencing factor). For a single buck? You'd better believe that I couldn't resist.

I think my dear Melissa may have thought the activity would wait for morning, but upon arriving home at approximately 11:00pm, I immediately cracked open the little box and went at it. For at least half an hour, Melissa and I went crazy all over my parents' driveway and sidewalk--everything from suns and flowers and mountain landscapes, to declaring our BFF status, declaiming the beauty of our parked vehicles, a hopskotch and a fully fleshed decoration of "Super Val" by Melissa. The only drawback to the entire glorious experience is that I scuffed the toe of my brand new shoe. Tragedy!

With spring coming in, I would definitely endorse a few enthusiastic childhood activities. It's immensely stress-relieving. For instance, my CIO is currently building a pinewood derby car in his office. (But don't even get our boss started on men building their son's pinewood derby cars...because he just finished his half-hour rant about it!) Spring is in the air, and it's infectious!

Weekends

Somehow without my knowledge or consent, my weekends have become insanely busy. Not that I mind, of course. It's just when it's unexpected that it becomes a little overwhelming. Not totally overwhelming. Just a little.

Take this weekend, for instance. It was supposed to be relatively quiet. My best friend Melissa came down from Ogden, and I was supposed to just spend the weekend with her. 'Supposed to' being the key phrase here.

I just never stopped moving. Friday night was full (and I also failed as a human being that night), and we didn't get home until late. Saturday was mostly filled by helping my friends Sam and Ashley move--Melissa had cleared that beforehand and seemed cheerful about it, but I certainly hadn't expected to be there most of the day.

I also got to show Melissa the house and it wasn't as bad as I remembered. I'm actually quite fond of it in my head, and I gained Melissa's approval. So we'll see how that goes.

Sunday was jam-packed, and I didn't really get any time alone with Melissa (story of the weekend). I hope she still loves me...I'll have to make it up to her...somehow...

After church and ward choir, there was break the fast, and while there I started playing the piano and ended up with a bunch of people singing, which was lovely. I've missed that. That evening, I got to play some pranks with my friend Cheri, played games with some friends of our ward until we went to ward prayer, and then I stayed talking at Cheri and Marjorie's house til almost one. I'm a wee bit tired today.

I can't really complain, because I had a good weekend. It was just so BUSY. And today I flipped the calendar over to March and started filling in my obligations, and EVERY WEEKEND in March is already booked! I can't believe it. I just have tons of stuff going on, it's madness. And I'm not sure I can expect the weekdays to be much better--seeing as how I'm still trying to add more activities to my life. But again...I can't complain! Busy is how I prefer to be.

A few random thoughts

Thought A (on house hunting): No real progress today. Looked online at some condos, and I'm willing to go look at them, but my thought is, if I'm going to invest in a house, I want to invest in a house. I honestly don't know how long I'll stay in this place, and if it's long enough for a baby or three, I want to have a yard and some privacy and some space. Just sayin'. Also, thinking about making a bid on the first house (see post below), but definitely want to go look at more houses in the meantime.

Thought B (on writing): I wrote a fair bit today in my "companion novel" to Traitor Defiant. I'm just getting started with this one, but I'm actually pretty excited about it. Read Ender's Game? Read Ender's Shadow. That's a companion novel--instead of a sequel, which comes after, it covers the same span of time as the first book, just from a different POV. And so far it's fun--it's been so easy to jump back into this work and just GO. Also, my friend Michael complimented my writing today, and it made me smile.

Thought C (on life): Following the advice of my dear friend Gregory (although really, it was simply an offer I couldn't refuse) I went shopping with my mother this evening. It's been almost a year since I've bought clothes--so it was well past time. Macy's was having a big clearance sale. About half the store was Buy 1 Get 1 Free. My mom got some cute sweaters. I got three shirts, and I've noticed that women's clothing is tending toward hippieness, and that banded hems are popular on shirts right now. Fortunately, with the right blouse, I can make this look work. I also got a cute pair of petite jeans that are still long on me (that's life, though). I tried on some LBDs in hopes of finding one that will work for Dixy's wedding, without any luck tonight. However, my pride and joy of the evening were these:



I absolutely love shoes. I hate clothes, but I love shoes. These aren't as red as they look in this picture, and actually should go quite well with brown articles. I enjoy them immensely.

House ownership part II: House hunting

Tonight was my first experience in house hunting. And I will tell you now that this is likely to be a long and drawn out process.

We looked at two houses, and in just those two houses I came to the realization that houses are quirky and that house owners are quirkier. I actually really liked the first house. There are a lot of things that would need to change, but most of them are small. A fresh coat of neutral-colored paint would do wonders for--I kid you not--every room in the house. Maybe not the kitchen. The kitchen and other main rooms were by far my favorite part. LOVED them. Big, open and spacious rooms. The bedrooms were also large, though two of them were kind of awkward, and we weren't really sure whether they were originally meant to be bedrooms. But they were big!

The biggest problem in the house were the bathrooms. There were two, and they were very dated. Who decorates in pink? I mean really. And there were some "special" things that, in perhaps ten years and with lots of money, I would be able to fix.

But overall, I really liked that house. LOVED the main rooms. I really like the location, I like the yard, I like the three-car garage, I like the patio and the covered deck and porch, and I'm enchanted by the mailbox.

The second house was not so exciting. First of all, it was about three steps away from my parents house. I love them, but I don't want to spend the next x-# of years in their backyard. Need a little breathing space, if you know what I mean. (Just a couple of blocks, really, I'm not too picky.) It was a big house, but there were a lot of weird things. Weird decor, weird carpet, weird cabinet handles, really weird yard fixtures, and the bathrooms were all really small. AND...the basement was unfinished. PUH-LEAZE I don't need that kind of headache right now. So, drove away from that house with a No, thank you!

On a related note, I filled out loan paperwork tonight, and THAT was an adventure. I feel so inadequate! My dad reassures me that the bank LIKES boring, they want to see that I pay my bills (which I do), but I looked at my pitiful list of assets and my meager income and I thought, "they're going to think this is a joke". But off it goes to the bank tomorrow, to see what I can get pre-approved for. And then we go from there.

In the meantime, I want to look at more houses. I'm in no hurry, certainly, and looking at more places will give me a better idea of what I'm looking for. But I'll tell you--I'm sitting in a mixture of utterly freaked out and terrified, and hopelessly excited. I had a dream last night about having my whole singles ward in my house for a house warming party, so I take that as a good sign. =)

Home ownership

AH!

So, I was talking to my dad on Sunday about how life is great and stuff, and I mentioned to him that despite my deep and abiding love for him and my mom, it's my goal--sometime in the next six months or so--to move out of their house. I mean, don't get me wrong, living at home has its perks, but after four years out on my own, its a little claustrophobic. So the goal is: get the car paid off as much as possible, save up some cash in the meantime, then get my butt in gear and find an apartment.

However.

My father made an offhand suggestion at the time. He said something to the effect of, instead of investing in somebody else, how about you wait a little longer, save your money, and then invest in yourself and buy a house.

Wait, what?

Me, buy a house? Me, a twenty-something, to whom it was HUGE to get a car loan and be making that monthly payment. Home ownership is SO out of my league, it's not even funny. I don't know the first thing about buying a house! This is HUGE. Like, a life-long investment. I mean, home loans are like 30 year investments. I thought a four-year car loan was bad (trying to pay that one off in two, but we'll see how it goes!) Home ownership, I thought, was so totally out of my league as to be laughable.

Except, like so many things in my life, I can't stop thinking about it.

This morning, I kind of started asking my mom about logistics. The very basics. This whole affair is absolutely foreign to me, I can't even tell you. But as the day went on, I started looking up mortgage calculators (which I still can't make heads or tails of) and calculating exactly how much I could pay every month on my limited salary (with a car payment to boot) and what I would have to rent out the rooms for in order to make ends meet...

You can probably see where this is going. But the biggest surprise was when I got home--to hear that my parents had found a house. It's in our stake (one of my primary stipulations at the moment) and it's pre-foreclosure, so it's ridiculously low-listed, even in the current market. I insisted on going over to see it. Haven't been inside yet, but the outside is c-ute. At this point, I should have slapped myself to wake up from this nonsense, but it hasn't happened yet.

How do these things happen? It's one thing to discuss investments with Melissa (thinking at the time--that's cool, but I couldn't do anything like that) to semi-seriously discussing this with the parental unit. I mean, how many 22-year-olds do YOU know who own their own home? Seriously! This is craziness.

But...it's kind of exciting all the same.
I'll keep you posted.

Rain

I walked out of my house this morning, and it smelled like rain. You know that smell. I don't have the greatest sense of smell in the world, but I can smell rain on grass and concrete. And to me this morning, it smelled like spring. And I just love a warm rain--it always puts me in this sort of nostalgic mood, and I remember playing with my toy circus as a child, or throwing my window open to the rain in the Bell Apartments, curling up on my bed with my laptop, and writing for a full rainy afternoon. I love the smell of rain.

Proof Ecstasy

This was a free proof copy courtesy of Create Space, which was the prize for completing the National Novel Writing Month back in November. After polishing it (mostly for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, but who's complaining) I submitted for my free proof copy. You have no idea how ecstatic I was to receive my package this morning, and I had to have Cindy with me before I could open it. It doesn't really mean anything, except that I have a copy of my book. But it makes me immensely happy for some obscure writerish reason.

Behold!*







*I apologize for the poor quality of my photos, I couldn't wait to get home to take them with my camera, so these are on-the-spot cell phone cam pics. Can you really blame me, though?

NEW FEATURE!!

Take a moment, scroll down and check out the ADOPTION BUTTON on the sidebar over there ==>

Jen created this beautiful button, and I encourage you to check out her blog to get to know her a little better. Seriously one of my favorite people in the world.

As you ought to know as a reader of my blog, I am an avid proponent of adoption, and it could not be more the case than with the family of my Ian. Adoption has become more and more about being in the right place at the right time. That was certainly the case with Ian's adoption--some mutual friends happened to speak up at the right moment, and then friendship and Heavenly Father took over. So if you know someone who's considering adoption, please don't hesitate to send them our way. It's all about love. =)

Games

I'm a trifle disappointed this evening, only because there were some members of my FHE group who did not enjoy Mao, which is my new favorite game, introduced to me by the Haycocks. I'm surprised by how many people I meet who have played it before. And I tried to lead my FHE group in this game, and it only lasted one round because some of the young men simply wouldn't cooperate. I suppose they thought they were being funny. Not that I don't like these boys, but I was disappointed all the same. I try to at least show a modicum of enthusiasm for things my friends like to do. I mean...isn't that common courtesy?

Profound thoughts of a profoundly profound nature

Or something like that...

The other day, I was talking to my friend Jameson about workplace satisfaction. He's in a business class, and they were talking about the factors that influence job satisfaction. Of course I don't know all of the details. But some of the things were pay scale and benefits, coworkers, and fulfillment from the work itself (among many other things).

Jameson found my situation interesting. I find my job itself to be tedious, indicating one factor of dissatisfaction. I like my workplace itself, I enjoy my coworkers, and my pay/benefits are acceptable. However, I am allowed to write in my spare time once my work is done, which influences my overall satisfaction with my job. While it's not the work itself, I do find satisfaction while at work.

I've been reconsidering some pretty major decisions lately--particularly my decision to go back to school. My major drive to go back to college is in that search for fulfillment. Because I'm not pursuing my original passion/major (theatre) for personal reasons, I thought that I thereby could not find satisfaction in a job that I could obtain without a degree in something else. Thus, I would go back to school to obtain that degree.

However, I'm finding that I can be fulfilled in other ways besides my job. I don't mind my job--I like the people, it's steady and consistent, and while there I can write, which is an enormous passion that I will always pursue. I've discovered that I can find a lot of fulfillment in my ward and callings there, and I'm getting involved in volunteer work that is like nothing else I've ever done before--and which brings me immense satisfaction.

So I don't know that I really want to uproot yet again. I really want to stay in my ward, I want to have some consistency there. And if I'm not unhappy, if I can find that fulfillment that I was looking for in the first place, I'm not sure I'd go back to school except for my obsessive love of school itself. At this point, I don't feel like I'm missing anything that could be gained by going back. So, while I haven't made a firm decision, I'm leaning toward staying right where I'm at.